[INFP] INFPs: What do you look for in friends?

[DigitalMethod]

Share your lists and opinions.

Thanks for the input.

 

[scantilyclad]

Someone who is trust worthy. I like to have friends that i can confide in and friends that will support me no matter what.

Common interests and an awesome sense of humor is always a big plus.

 

[DigitalMethod]

Someone who is trust worthy. I like to have friends that i can confide in and friends that will support me no matter what.

Common interests and an awesome sense of humor is always a big plus.

Yet, INFPs seem to usually have walls up. Thus, how can you confide in someone when the wall is largely preventing you from the act of confiding. I suppose this is a paradox of some sort.. (this is usually just in real life though I assume)

Then, you want someone who is trustworthy, but how can one gain trust from someone without allowing themselves to be in a position to either be hurt or benefited? Which again, the wall prevents individuals to subjecting themselves to possible harm. So if that is all true, then trust can never be gained because the opportunity is never present.

But, I am tired, and probably just over thinking this and mostly wrong

 

[disregard]

I actively look for someone interesting, fresh, and challenging.

I then scan for integrity and consistency.

 

[placebo]

Someone 'real'
Someone who can be introspective (not necessarily introverted), reflective, and think for themselves
Someone who can be about as interested in me as I am in them (as in, some kind of mutual respect)
Someone who can smile and laugh with me, relatively good-natured and not an angry and depressive type of person all the time
That's what comes to mind right now

 

[DigitalMethod]

I actively look for someone interesting, fresh, and challenging.

I then scan for integrity and consistency.

Challenging? That makes it sound like the person in question is only a 'goal' or something, I am sure that is not what you meant, but you could elaborate a little more please?

 

[disregard]

Free your mind from negative misinterpretation.

 

[DigitalMethod]

Free your mind from negative misinterpretation.

Potayto-Potahto

 

[disregard]

Challenging -- inadvertently pushing me to grow by merely being themself.

 

[DigitalMethod]

Challenging -- inadvertently pushing me to grow by merely being themself.

Thanks makes sense to me now.

 

[DeVie]

Unfortunately, I keep my friends at a distance. Those who do actually make it close are people who listen and are aware of others.

 

[anii]

- cheap tickets to rock shows
- 420
- presence, awareness of the Now
- tolerance for ambiguity
- sensual appetites
- alotta slack

 

[heart]

Emotional intelligence
Idealism
Passion for life, esepcially their own inner life
elegance of feeling
strong moral compass
People who feel the euphoria and inspiration in the whole of all that is

 

[WobblyStilettos]

Good sense of humour
Willing to engage in lots of banter
Would come to me if they had a problem
Would listen to me if I had a problem
Cares a lot about things

 

[luminous beam]

Good sense of humour
Willing to engage in lots of banter
Would come to me if they had a problem
Would listen to me if I had a problem
Cares a lot about things

i think a sense of humor is crucial, it's what helps me get through my emotional days ha. someone who cares is also good, idifference is a pet peeve when it comes to friendship or more

Someone who is trust worthy. I like to have friends that i can confide in and friends that will support me no matter what.

Common interests and an awesome sense of humor is always a big plus.

support is greatly appreciated because that's something that i usually offer...it's so nice when reciprocated

I actively look for someone interesting, fresh, and challenging.

I then scan for integrity and consistency.

Challenging -- inadvertently pushing me to grow by merely being themself.

interesting definitely because i like to converse on various topics, fresh helps keep things lighthearted and if i ever find someone that motivates me to grow and improve as a person that's accepting of me as well, that's like friendship bliss

Someone 'real'
Someone who can be introspective (not necessarily introverted), reflective, and think for themselves
Someone who can be about as interested in me as I am in them (as in, some kind of mutual respect)
Someone who can smile and laugh with me, relatively good-natured and not an angry and depressive type of person all the time
That's what comes to mind right now

i seek out honesty and authenticness, even when people are blunt, crass or whatever...i rather have that than someone make false promises, lies, give half truths or patronize me

 

[disregard]

interesting definitely because i like to converse on various topics, fresh helps keep things lighthearted and if i ever find someone that motivates me to grow and improve as a person that's accepting of me as well, that's like friendship bliss

I specifically said that I like a friend that inadvertently pushes me to grow by merely being themself. What does that mean? It means that they are someone I can take cues from (once again, this has nothing to do with them trying to change me--it's all me: my perception, my decision to grow), either from the activities they pursue.. their curiosity.. spirituality.. their essence.. etc--as long as it gets the inspiration coursing through my veins and motivates me to take charge of my own life to a greater degree (meaning take advantage of the abundant opportunity).

 

[Leysing]

Loyalty, intelligence, independence, social skills, empathy, sense of humour, culture, feelings, optimism, flexibility, courage, tolerance, deepness, introspection, thoughtfulness, honesty...

Artistic tendencies and quick wit are good things, but not necessary.

I love the wildness and "craziness" of ExxPs. It's a good contrast to my introversion.

The Se function is amazing.

 

[DigitalMethod]

Are these basically the same lists when you guys are looking for a relationship?

 

[FemMecha]

I value consistency in others. People who are one way one minute and then change the next are too taxing on me. For my intimate circle I need people I can count on. I will value other types of bonds as well, but my most intimate spot needs that consistency. I also need someone willing to ask me what I feel rather than tell me what i'm feeling - also someone who sincerely wants to understand how i think and feel. It also means alot when a friend can be close enough to feel vulnerable to me as well, so that the thought of losing me would cause pain in them as it does in me. My ideal friend is someone who cares for me as much as I care for them, so i don't have to feel like I must work for their approval and acceptance. A person who actively wants to spend time with me, even allowing me to be the one to ask for personal time occasionally would provide a deep gift. A person who just knows they love me without having to deliberate for too long is a source of rest to me. I don't have it in me to try to convince someone to like me - either they do or they don't. I don't want to mess with the natural flow of things, but just allow people be whomever they are. Then it means more when they just naturally value me as I value them.

 

[heart]

Are these basically the same lists when you guys are looking for a relationship?

I seem to have J fetish in romantic matters.
Admire strong idealism that and the person has to live their ideals to the best of their ability and has to have solid moral core.
No smoking, I could not live with a smoker.
Must love cats.
Can't be traditionally religious (doesn't matter with friends, but I would be driven crazy by SO with this)