I don't have time to read the entire thread, but things like this make me pause.
For years, I was part of very structured religion like you’re talking about (not Islam, though). I get the values that you have that everybody should practice what they preach and not just pretend they subscribe to a certain set of beliefs while actually twisting things around to get away with not living up to what they claim to be. I also share this value. But while you understand that no one completely lives up to their ideals and everyone makes mistakes, I’m concerned that you don’t understand that even among groups that seem on the outside to really value everybody practicing what they preach and who call out people who don’t live up to it, even among these groups there will still be a lot of people only pretending to believe in what the group believes. This is different than saying they sincerely try to live up to it but sometimes stumble. The dynamic of any group, including ones that seem to be designed to only have true-believers in it, is that there will always be lots of people in it who secretly don’t believe or even try to follow what the group says they should, but instead are only in it for other reasons, like maybe their family history is tied up with this group or because they like the social aspect of the group. This is sometimes not apparent from looking at a group from the outside or even from being a newbie member, but it will become clear once you’re in the group long enough.
Since the Amish have been bought up a couple of times that I’ve seen, I’ll use them as an example even though you say you’re not looking to join them. I live right next door to them, and I can tell you with 100% certainty that they have lot of people who live in their community who don’t really believe in their doctrines or rules. I see tons of Amish people using cell phones, they have radios and play modern music, and occasionally I see them even driving normal cars. And this is a group who many people view as being really strict and full of true-believers.
I know you don’t want to believe there’s no group out there who would be filled with people you’re hoping to find, but it’s the truth.