I totally agree!
This INTP I met for the first time after talking online and on phone for some time, well when we met I was naturally hesitant a bit, because I mean he was a guy from off the net after all, who knows he might be an axe murderer.
But anyways, we sat down, I smiled, adjusted my seat, let him comment on some statement I made earlier. The moment I finally was comfortable and wanted to ask him "So how are you?", he turns his face, saying "I dont have time for niceties"!! :O
I was in utter shock. He turned his face and said Im starving, you wanna order some food, then started talking about other things to get my reaction!!
I was sitting there thinking "Who are you? I dont even know you, you didnt even ACKNOWLEDGE my existence, there was no eye contact, no rapport established, and you want me to open up to you?"
So I think this 'ice breaker' you both talking about is actually ACKNOWLEDGING that the other person EXISTS! and that they are important and not merely tools you can use to gauge reactions and experiment with.
sighhh
thats my two cents worth.