[ESTP] Ask an ESTP

[Adasta]

Since ESTPs are such badasses, why can they end up putting up with bossy kill-joys who rule their lives? Shouldn't they be "laying the smack"?

 

[Sinmara]

On a general, personal level? I don't put up with them. Zero tolerance. I tell them to fuck off.

At work? I bite my tongue, deal with it, and plot against them in secret. ;P

 

[Adasta]

On a general, personal level? I don't put up with them. Zero tolerance. I tell them to fuck off.

At work? I bite my tongue, deal with it, and plot against them in secret. ;P

I know an ESTP who dates an ISTJ E6 who just bosses him around. He just seems to...put up with it.

I would've expected him to start throwing chairs at her before going to play a game of basketball where he scores just after the buzzer before jumping on a motorcycle and driving through some conveniently-arranged cardboard boxes.

I don't get it!

 

[Sinmara]

I know an ESTP who dates an ISTJ E6 who just bosses him around. He just seems to...put up with it.

I would've expected him to start throwing chairs at her before going to play a game of basketball where he scores just after the buzzer before jumping on a motorcycle and driving through some conveniently-arranged cardboard boxes.

I don't get it!

Huh...I can't speak for him as to why he's doing it, but with ESTP/IxxJ relationships, I've noticed a trend of more going on than meets the public eye. Those types of relationships have strong undercurrents, I think. Maybe you should try just coming out and asking him? There may be a very good reason be tolerates and forgives the bossiness. Or maybe he feels a bit defeated and just lets it happen.

 

[Adasta]

Huh...I can't speak for him as to why he's doing it, but with ESTP/IxxJ relationships, I've noticed a trend of more going on than meets the public eye. Those types of relationships have strong undercurrents, I think. Maybe you should try just coming out and asking him? There may be a very good reason be tolerates and forgives the bossiness. Or maybe he feels a bit defeated and just lets it happen.

I have a sneaking suspicion it is because he feels he needs to prove himself in some way. He's aware he needs direction (job, etc.) and this girl provides the necessary framework by essentially telling him what to do. I think he puts up with the bossiness/whining as the downside, while the "structure" is the upside.

I was never sure of that, though. It just didn't seem very ESTP to me. Maybe I underestimated the ESTP's capacity to bit his tongue. I haven't been around that many, so I am no expert.

 

[Sinmara]

I have a sneaking suspicion it is because he feels he needs to prove himself in some way. He's aware he needs direction (job, etc.) and this girl provides the necessary framework by essentially telling him what to do. I think he puts up with the bossiness/whining as the downside, while the "structure" is the upside.

I was never sure of that, though. It just didn't seem very ESTP to me. Maybe I underestimated the ESTP's capacity to bit his tongue. I haven't been around that many, so I am no expert.

Absolutely fucking everyone seems to underestimate our ability to bite our tongues. Honestly, we are perfectly capable of behaving when it is necessary. Remember that whole reputation for manipulation we have? Yeah, do you think we got that by stomping around like Godzilla whenever something happens we don't like?

We're even capable of altruism and doing something for someone we love that we absolutely hate, but it makes them happy and them being happy makes us happy. We may be very interested in serving our own interests but we are rabidly loyal and can be very accommodating and bendy when it comes to the people we love.

Being an ESTP does not make you a caricature.

 

[tibby]

I know an ESTP who dates an ISTJ E6 who just bosses him around. He just seems to...put up with it.

I would've expected him to start throwing chairs at her before going to play a game of basketball where he scores just after the buzzer before jumping on a motorcycle and driving through some conveniently-arranged cardboard boxes.

I don't get it!

I also know an ESTP who has a close/best INFJ friend, who is naturally very bossy to him. He lets her boss him around and his take on it was that "She just does it in such an adorable way." She's very caringly bossy and I think that's why he puts up with it. I mean no one could boss him around without his consent, so it's not really being bossed around as such.

 

[ICUP]

None of the estp's I know have any interest in furthering their educations, or intellectual pursuits. They also hate working, and hate their work environments. Why is this?

 

[Mal12345]

ESTPs, are any of you artists?

 

[Halla74]

None of the estp's I know have any interest in furthering their educations, or intellectual pursuits.

How odd.
I'm finishing my Master's Degree now.
I completed my Project Management Professional (PMP) Certification six years ago, and remain current as I meet or exceed my continuing education credits each three-year cycle.

Maybe you're hanging out with unmotivated slobs, and birds of a feather flock together?

They also hate working, and hate their work environments. Why is this?

We love working, we just hate putting up with simpleton, petty, juvenile office bullshit.
We are happiest when we see the FRUITS of OUR LABOR close to the time we expended energy to sow their seeds.

Hate their environment? ESTPs? Must be a mistype.
We loooooove our environments.
We are at home any place on Earth.
New town, new terrain, new people = A whole new adventure to lead, love and live.

Do we hate toxic environments?
Yes.
What do we do when we realize we are in a toxic environment?
We summon up a new opportunity, close down shop, and move on to greener pastures.
If we need to (or want to) we kick ass and take names.
But, we save that for when its really necessary.

ESTPs, are any of you artists?

Yes. I paint, compose music, cook like a mad man, invent useful things, and am a fanatic about decadent landscaping.
Are you an artist too?



-Alex

 

[Mal12345]

Yes. I paint, compose music, cook like a mad man, invent useful things, and am a fanatic about decadent landscaping.
Are you an artist too?



-Alex

No.

I see you didn't mention body-sculpting as an art, assuming your avatar is a self-pic.

 

[Halla74]

No.

I see you didn't mention body-sculpting as an art, assuming your avatar is a self-pic.

Yes, my avatar is a self-pic. Interesting to think of bodybuilding as "body art," that never crossed my imagination.
I've always pursued weightlifting and athletics for the sheer joy of doing it.
For some reason it is the equivalent of "meditating" to a hyperactive person like me.
At the end of a serious workout, I am exhausted, and about ready to fall over, yet somehow at peace.
Maybe my love of doing it for the sake of doing it has minimized my perception of it being a form of artistic expression.

Cheers!



-Alex

 

[stellar renegade]

On a general, personal level? I don't put up with them. Zero tolerance. I tell them to fuck off.

At work? I bite my tongue, deal with it, and plot against them in secret. ;P

Yes, and when the time is right, compile every inappropriate/irresponsible action they've ever done in an email to the district manager, don't answer their voicemails requesting you to come in for them the next morning, and wait for them to show up two hours late for the district meeting.

That'll get their ass fired right away.

 

[stellar renegade]

How odd.
I'm finishing my Master's Degree now.
I completed my Project Management Professional (PMP) Certification six years ago, and remain current as I meet or exceed my continuing education credits each three-year cycle.

Maybe you're hanging out with unmotivated slobs, and birds of a feather flock together?



We love working, we just hate putting up with simpleton, petty, juvenile office bullshit.
We are happiest when we see the FRUITS of OUR LABOR close to the time we expended energy to sow their seeds.

Hate their environment? ESTPs? Must be a mistype.
We loooooove our environments.
We are at home any place on Earth.
New town, new terrain, new people = A whole new adventure to lead, love and live.

Do we hate toxic environments?
Yes.
What do we do when we realize we are in a toxic environment?
We summon up a new opportunity, close down shop, and move on to greener pastures.
If we need to (or want to) we kick ass and take names.
But, we save that for when its really necessary.



Yes. I paint, compose music, cook like a mad man, invent useful things, and am a fanatic about decadent landscaping.
Are you an artist too?



-Alex

I love you, Alex. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE you.

Keep fightin' the good fight for us, m'man.

 

[stellar renegade]

None of the estp's I know have any interest in furthering their educations, or intellectual pursuits.

That's sad. Up until just recently I was researching quantum physics, philosophy, history, archaeology, astronomy and theology. On my own. Just for my own damn curiosity and ability to debate the subjects (though I did give a presentation on the Kalam Cosmological Argument for Speech class recently). Lately though I've been focusing more on politics. Some consider me quite the formidable opponent and I've shut quite a few mouths in my time.

They also hate working, and hate their work environments. Why is this?

They may just be in a transition phase. I've really hated some of my jobs, but as noted above, I had to shake things up just a little. If there's absolutely nothing you can do about it, you save up and take yourself and your experience elsewhere. I LOOOOVE the job I'm at now, but it took some years of work for me to even be able to qualify, and even then I had help from my employment agency.

ESTPs, are any of you artists?

Yep! I used to be a poet and I've been drawing since age eight. I've also written some (read: began) some stories off and on and am a very amateur comic book artist. I also love music and singing and dancing. And I'm in school for web design and recently switched from graphic design.

Here's a sampling of my recent work:

 

[Betty Blue]

Are you all sociopaths?

 

[Halla74]

Yes, and when the time is right, compile every inappropriate/irresponsible action they've ever done in an email to the district manager, don't answer their voicemails requesting you to come in for them the next morning, and wait for them to show up two hours late for the district meeting.

That'll get their ass fired right away.

Ohhhh, this is a tried and true technique.

I've actually got a a massive e-mail of this nature that's so old I could post it here as an example of how to chew ass and dig a little trap for an unsuspecting troublemaking fool at one's office if anyone's interested.

I'll just have to replace the names, such as the antagonist being re-named to "FUCKFACE," and a co-worker of mine who voiced his greivances with such said "FUCKFACE" - I could re-name him "INNOCENT-BYSTANDER."

The one thing to do that will lend even more credibility to an excoriating e-mail is if you try to resolve the conflict (even if it s being caused by a single fool) at the "team level" BEFORE engaging management. This is a pre-requisite, as managers would rather be golfing than working. Also, it is a matter of exercising "due diligence" on your part, and when doing so has resulted in no progress, at that point you are EXPECTED to engage your manager.

The other thing to be aware of is the motivation of the manager. Always remember this. Modern managers are often shackled to adhere to arcane and ineffective human resource practices. In alot of cases they would rather fire everyone and start over than deal with a bunch of high maintenance staff. The manager's primary concern will be that of KEEPING the CLIENT HAPPY. So, voice your grievances in terms of how an abusive/unpriofessional individual's behavior is affecting THE ACCOUNT and putting the relationship with the CLIENT AT RISK, not in terms of how the asshole is affecting your "inner child."

Alot of people get hung up on "FUCKFACE hurt my feelings and is mean to me and I don't like it" when writing such memos. Remember, if you are dealing with a true asshole, control freak, or sociopath - they don't give a rat's ass about your feelings or anyone else's. I never quite grasped the concept of people needing to constantly bolster their "ILAC" (I am LOVEABLE and CAPABLE) - that's the type of stuff that I think sets people up to have very unrealistic expectations of the world around them. No one on this planet is going to treat you like they owe you anything, once you accept that reality you become self sufficient very quickly. Also, everyone has an "inner child" - mine's just a little different than most. He's a combination of "Bugs Bunny" and "Chucky" the evil horror movie doll. Everyone is better off I am allowed to remain happy and playful, because on the rare occasion I do get truly pissed off - it gets very ugly, very quickly for whomever is trying to get the better of me.

I love you, Alex. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE you.

Keep fightin' the good fight for us, m'man.

I LOVE YOU TOO, MAN!
Likewise, Stellar, your efforts at educating the masses about our kind are much appreciated by me.

That's sad. Up until just recently I was researching quantum physics, philosophy, history, archaeology, astronomy and theology. On my own. Just for my own damn curiosity and ability to debate the subjects (though I did give a presentation on the Kalam Cosmological Argument for Speech class recently). Lately though I've been focusing more on politics. Some consider me quite the formidable opponent and I've shut quite a few mouths in my time.

They may just be in a transition phase. I've really hated some of my jobs, but as noted above, I had to shake things up just a little. If there's absolutely nothing you can do about it, you save up and take yourself and your experience elsewhere. I LOOOOVE the job I'm at now, but it took some years of work for me to even be able to qualify, and even then I had help from my employment agency.

Yep! I used to be a poet and I've been drawing since age eight. I've also written some (read: began) some stories off and on and am a very amateur comic book artist. I also love music and singing and dancing. And I'm in school for web design and recently switched from graphic design.

Not the activities or musings of an unmotivated fool at all.
Damn Bro, you've been a busy boy!

[/QUOTE]Here's a sampling of my recent work:

[/QUOTE]

Whoa! NICE!

Are you all sociopaths?

I'm guessing this is somewhat of a joke question, but if it is not I also think I understand why it would be asked.
Sociopath, true sociopaths that are NOT FUNCTIONAL are agressive/hostile towards others without provocations AND SOMETIMES for their own amusement.
Sociopaths are INSINCERE.
They show the world a "false face," a non-genuine personality to try to appear like everyone else.
Then, when they have some privacy (darkness likes secrecy, remember that) they will pop out into their true hideous selves and abuse (be it psychological or physical)whomever their intended victim is.
Such behavior is not ESTP behavior.

HOWEVER...

ESTPs are genuinely good at operating on several agendas if needed/desired.
Our interests are vast and it is not always possible to pursue them with any consistency.
Despite having this ability I maintain that ESTPs of good psychological "health" can do so without being disingenuine or insincere.

Now then, if someone really does cross us, agress against us, and try to damage our safety/well being/prosperity/self-respect/ or the safety of someone dear to us - they are going to pay dearly - and they will never know what is coming for them or when.
We are open people.
We do not like our kindness to be mistaken for weakness, and we do not like being treated badly for no reason.
Again, this is an extreme action against an extreme transgression, but we can do it without alot of thought, and without losing sleep if/when needed.



-Alex

 

[Owfin]

ESTP thinking is very mysterious to me. Is this feeling mutual?

 

[tinker683]

ESTP thinking is very mysterious to me. Is this feeling mutual?

I actually understand it...I just have a hard time emulating it. So exhausting for me!

Q for ESTPs: Could you please bottle up your awesomeness and sell it to me in a nice neat package? I have a couple of debby-downers in my life in serious need of a mojo injection

 

[Giggly]

ESTP thinking is very mysterious to me. Is this feeling mutual?

Yes.
(Except for [MENTION=6109]Halla74[/MENTION] - he makes perfect sense to me)