Hmm I wonder if this qualifies as Fe fakeness:
[good description]
Actually, even Fi types do this, just try to get along and ignore the bad points.
^^ Yeah, I think that's why Fi's complaints are a little more reasonable.
Fe-ers want Fi to start doing something.
Fi-ers are just like, "Leave me the fuck alone, dude."
Except, as you have noted, Z, sometimes we need to say that to other Fi types as well.
I'm uncomfortable with the idea of influencing others. Makes me feel responsible for them. With rare exception, I'm only concerned with my own relationship with another person. (I'm prob more interested in identifying systemic style problems and that might be an area where I push my own agenda a bit). I like dialogue and discussion where the truth of a topic takes centre stage, stripped of people's own overarching need to be right and others wrong. That certainly can be a consequence of a discussion, but when that is someone's main objective, eh, just boring to me. It's not an honest discussion to me.
I like feeling I'll be accepted in my closer relationships. I need that in order to let my walls down, though I'm trying another way where I am myself and negative feedback be damned. I am always myself, I'm just superficial with most people, I don't let most people in. Also, this is only a factor in close relationships or if I admire someone. I can shrug off what most other people might think of me.
Sorry, this is a little disjointed. I've had interruptions galore!
I think the
bolded may be key. With most people, Fe is rather superficial. It is nice to be nice and to get along and not cause trouble. Fi in the same situation isn't so much superficial as avoidant. In particular, Fi-doms tend to avoid, while Fi-aux tends to bring up Te to deal with unpleasant situations.
The Fi/Fe conflict is that both sides can "read" each other. Badly. Especially if it's text-only without body language and tone of voice.
Interestingly, there is an ENFP/INFJ parallel here, where the behavior is similar, but what is going on inside is very different. ENFPs can be very (genuinely) friendly, almost too much so, sometimes indicating a depth of interest that really isn't there. The friendliness is genuine, but the depth is a misread (often on the part of INTJs
). INFJs tend to hold back, but when they're nice, they're very nice, and a similar misread can occur, especially if the niceness is their "niceness shield" to protect themselves from unpleasant encounters. At times, the "niceness shield" can backfire, and be misread as NFPs as insincere. (Yes, NTJs are Fi, too, but face it, for the most part, we NTJs don't read things that deeply.)
Along the same vein, the people who always use personal anecdotes to prove their points.... I DO NOT CARE WHAT YOUR FREAKING BF OR CHILD DID... lol
most people don't make this effort.
) but I also think it's an attempt to adapt to the very Fe-oriented society. Leading with Fi doesn't really win people over in the average social situation, so I have to suppress my instincts and inclinations. But then maybe Fe-users do the same. Maybe they're just better than I am at burying their nature and what's on their mind, in order to better get along with others. 
