Multiple Enneagram Subtypes/Instincts Sp/sx versus sx/sp?

[Elfboy]

What fo you mean by "move in"?

 

[Elfboy]

I was talking to my S.O. last night, just fooling around, and I said:

If you meet someone you connect with and are attracted to, and you want to move in the first week, you are sx. If you want to move in in two years, you are sx-secondary, and if you never want to move in, you are sx third.

well, you gotta realize, it's also easier for gay men. a woman moving in with a guy after just 2 weeks is just not a safe move most of the time. in a guy x guy situation, there's less risk of you being sexually assaulted (although, I'm going out on a limb here, but you strike me as the type of person who would moderately aroused by that lol)

 

[ICUP]

well, you gotta realize, it's also easier for gay men. a woman moving in with a guy after just 2 weeks is just not a safe move most of the time. in a guy x guy situation, there's less risk of you being sexually assaulted (although, I'm going out on a limb here, but you strike me as the type of person who would moderately aroused by that lol)

IDK, I guess it depends on what you mean by "sexual assault". I'm actually pretty lame, probably because of the sp. I suppose "no sexual hangups" to me, means that I am ok with people doing what they do in bed, whatever it is. That doesn't mean I think it feels good for me..... and I won't do something if I don't think it feels good. But that is basically it.... I don't have any problems trying most things in bed. I do have my lines.... I'm not doing scat play or gerbils, or any kind of serious violence, because I don't think that feels good. I'm not extreme.
Moving in together after just meeting - no, it's not generally safe for women, but I've seen a lot of women do it anyway. I have 3 times, but I wouldn't do it again. I say that, but my judgments have also become much better over the years. I trust that I can pick 'em right.

In sx/sp fashion, I met a guy on the internet, and moved cross-country to be with him (and to seek out a new life in a hopefully more open, better place). It's really worked out, and we've been together for 8 years now. It was the best move I ever made, by far. "Listen to your heart, but lead with your mind" seems to work for me.

 

[Elfboy]

IDK, I guess it depends on what you mean by "sexual assault". I'm actually pretty lame, probably because of the sp.
Moving in together after just meeting - no, it's not generally safe for women, but I've seen a lot of women do it anyway. I have 3 times, but I wouldn't do it again. I say that, but my judgments have also become much better over the years. I trust that I can pick 'em right.

In sx/sp fashion, I met a guy on the internet, and moved cross-country to be with him. It's really worked out, and we've been together for 8 years now. It was the best move I ever made, by far. "Listen to your heart, but lead with your mind" seems to work for me.

makes sense to me. chemistry is chemistry

 

[Speed Gavroche]

move in = cohabitation.

Ah ok, I see.

Two days for me.

 

[Speed Gavroche]

Pretty much. I found weird to wait two weeks for this.

 

[Elfboy]

Pretty much. I found weird to wait two weeks for this.

honestly I don't care if it takes a little while to get to sex. there are other sexual warm up things we can do in the mean time and I actually enjoy foreplay more than sex sometimes. the weird thing is when people don't even get comfortable with you for awhile. that's just weird

 

[Sunny Ghost]

I've always been in a debate with my instincts. But I think SP/SX makes the most sense to me and how I am.

 

[Silveresque]

Well, this confirms Sp/Sx for me. Thanks for posting all those videos, [MENTION=5356]Speed Gavroche[/MENTION]!

 

[Salmacis]

typically sx/sp comes across more intense than sp/sx. this is especially apparent if you start paying attention to the eye contact these two types make. i've seen sx/sp being described somewhere as a 'one-man storm' and sp/sx as like magic is in their heads, and i think they are pretty spot on.

sx/sp eyes are piercing, fiery and confident, even angry, whereas sp/sx looks curious, but more distant and held-back. they are more careful about where they invest their energy. sometimes they look like they are evaluating everything you say and unconsciously drop their mouth open a bit.. but probably don't say anything at all. sx/sp zooms into people and/or ignores them if s/he doesn't feel a draw towards them.

compare the vibe..
sx/sp

sp/sx

sp/sx's seem to be really good at observing and staring at others in secret.. they observe ALOT. sx/sp is more focused on him/herself and is more oblivious to the surroundings. both are oblivious to bigger social dynamics though and i doubt they eavesdrop conversations around them as often as social subtypes do.

and because sp/sx is self-preserving first, they pay far more attention to their comfort and environment. one dynamic that happens often between me (sx/sp) and my sp/sx friends is that before they begin to converse with me, they like to pull me aside from the crowd and take me to a more (physically) comfortable place. one of my sp/sx friends always makes sure that if we are indoors, we have a place near the windows. that's how their sp-instinct dominates sx. comfort is #1.

sp/sx also seems more withdrawn, calm and collected. they seem to choose their words carefully and may have alot of poise. sx/sp seems more impatient, temperamental and easily bored. because they have more energy present, they may start squirming in their chair, kicking their foot, etc. to release their energy.

 

[wolfy]

This is an interesting read. Sp/Sx for the win. Those videos were good and so were the pics. Bruce Willis, like his style.

 

[Hazashin]

sp/sx's seem to be really good at observing and staring at others in secret.. they observe ALOT. sx/sp is more focused on him/herself and is more oblivious to the surroundings. both are oblivious to bigger social dynamics though and i doubt they eavesdrop conversations around them as often as social subtypes do.

and because sp/sx is self-preserving first, they pay far more attention to their comfort and environment. one dynamic that happens often between me (sx/sp) and my sp/sx friends is that before they begin to converse with me, they like to pull me aside from the crowd and take me to a more (physically) comfortable place. one of my sp/sx friends always makes sure that if we are indoors, we have a place near the windows. that's how their sp-instinct dominates sx. comfort is #1.

sp/sx also seems more withdrawn, calm and collected. they seem to choose their words carefully and may have alot of poise. sx/sp seems more impatient, temperamental and easily bored. because they have more energy present, they may start squirming in their chair, kicking their foot, etc. to release their energy.

Maybe I am Sp/Sx. Those phrases that I bolded resonated with me. One thing different though is that I try to stay away from windows because I don't like being able to be seen from the outside. I also like to have my door shut and have my windows completely covered and darkened (I like the dark). I'm not sure people realize it, but subtle things like this tell a LOT about a person's personality -- sometimes moreso than an elaborate description.

You know, now that I'm thinking about it, I think I'll make a list of subtle things I do in life:

- I like to sit and stand with my legs close together
- I like to keep doors and drawers closed (I have an irrational but very minor phobia of "openness")
- I like slouching in my chair because I don't feeling like I'm up so high
- I don't like being in the back or front of a line
- I almost always wear socks (I hate the feeling of being barefoot and it correlates with my slight phobia of "openness")
- I like sitting in the back of an uncrowded movie theater where no one else is but with a friend or some friends
- I like going to an uncrowded movie theater period (though not by myself)

In hindsight, this was a pointless idea. All this shows is that I'm introverted more than anything.

Still, it could indicate Sp-dom...

 

[Elfboy]

I think the difference between Sp/Sx and Sx/Sp is
Sp/Sx: "I'm in my own little world, but I like visitors on occasion."
Sx/Sp: "Would you like to come with me to my world?"

 

[Hazashin]

I think the difference between Sp/Sx and Sx/Sp is
Sp/Sx: "I'm in my own little world, but I like visitors on occasion."
Sx/Sp: "Would you like to come with me to my world?"

I like the second option.

 

[brainheart]

What about social doms? Its like we don't exist
I decided I would probably marry my husband after two weeks of dating, but I'd also known him for a year prior. And then we married a year after that. One thing I've noticed- everyone I've dated has come from my groups of friends... Weird.

I have an infp sp/sx friend and the differences I notice between her and I are:
her home always feels cozy. Mine just leans toward disheveled hand me downs.
I'll be really getting into the swing of conversation and she'll stop and ask if I want something to drink, or something to eat. I pretty much don't notice if I'm hungry or thirsty unless I'm about to die.
She has really cool clothes, just a great sense of style. my style is more like a standard indie uniform.
I respond asap if she calls or texts. It takes her awhile.
She is really into her job. I hate working and avoid it as much as possible.

 

[Hazashin]

I hate working and avoid it as much as possible.

So do I. Does that mean I'm not an Sp-dom?

 

[brainheart]

So do I. Does that make mean I'm not an Sp-dom?

Maybe, but I don't think its that simple.

 

[Speed Gavroche]

So do I. Does that make mean I'm not an Sp-dom?

:facepalm: Of course not!

 

[Elfboy]

:facepalm: Of course not!

this made me lol for some reason

 

[brainheart]

I for sure have the sx eyes... Insanely intense and kind of angry, very much like in those pictures. I feel like such an idiot but I really do relate to the sx the most, I just got so swept up in this whole social idea.... I feel like I often give off an sx/sp vibe more than sx/so but I relate to the sx and so individually more than the sp. But this thread seals it... I will never ever consider myself sp/sx ever again.

Otherwise... Hell, I don't know... I should probably give up.