skylights
i love
- Joined
- Jul 6, 2010
- Messages
- 7,756
- MBTI Type
- INFP
- Enneagram
- 6w7
- Instinctual Variant
- so/sx
Interesting description here. I may be looking at Fe-Fi differences all wrong, actually. (I would be delighted to be wrong in this instance! )
Gotta think about this stuff.
well i might not be totally correct, lol... that is just how i see Fe as i understand it manifest in the Fe-dominants i actually know... and what i've come to understand from talking with Fe dom/aux on the site. the two easy shorthand terms i use for Fi/Fe are "about me"/"about you" and "intrapersonal/interpersonal". the "about __" seems to me where a lot of each of the function's issues come from. like Fi can be really self-absorbed - not necessarily even with oneself, but with a self - it's not very good at considering synergistic effects between people - but Fe can have this weird problem of thinking that all your behavior is about someone else. like you're expressing anger because you're mad at them, when really you're expressing it because you're upset with yourself. or with the more stereotypical examples, like if you forget to send a birthday card, then it's about not caring about the birthday person, instead of just you have a terrible memory and lost your calendar. and then for intra/inter - Fi likes to delve into individual persons. the self is our proving ground, but we can do it with others, too. whereas Fe likes to explore the links between people. it's good at how to create or destroy distance between people, etc.
so basically then the way i picture it is Fi looks at people from the inside out, while Fe looks at them from the outside in. Fi starts with "about me" and then from the perspective of "me" looks at everyone else. whereas Fe starts with the perspective of "about you" and then from that perspective looks at "me". which is why Fe doms can understand others so well... because they've been concentrating on others and the space between themselves and others all their lives. so they are very good at using those tactics in that cognitiveprocesses definition - "The 'social graces,' such as being polite, being nice, being friendly, being considerate, and being appropriate, often revolve around the process of extraverted Feeling".
also i think the lack of a Pi agenda is a big factor in interaction. Js usually have a predetermined agenda, whereas Ps often... float. we figure our goals out as we go. so a Fe dom or aux will almost always come to other people with a goal in mind - so they are more experienced at "moving" those people around to line them up to not get in the way of their goal (or even to help their goal), whereas Ps don't really do that, and when we finally get into a situation where we want/need to, we are like wtf?
in general i think what i understand best of Fe, i've picked up from watching my mom and good Fe dominant friend... and also like vala and LL have said, "mirroring".
By the way, I don't want my posts to sound like I am down about Fi - because ultimately I do love who I am - it's just there are times that I feel out of my element... when I think I shouldn't be so out of my element... Am I making any sense?
I'll think on this.
yeah totally. it's being a good people person sometimes but also being completely sometimes!