What's it like to be a Feeler?

[Tallulah]

Okay, help us Ts out. From an INTP perspective, I may feel things internally, but I'm usually detached from my emotions, and they generally don't get taken into account when I argue or make a decision. I may rely on my intuition, or my "gut" feeling about something, but it won't necessarily be a "feeling" as I suspect F people would feel them. If I feel something strongly, I always try to take a step back so my logic won't get clouded by my subjective feelings.

So here's what I want to know (inspired by the Mock Emotions thread):

1) When you talk about feelings/emotions, how do you experience them?
2) Do you always go on your feelings? Do you feel that your emotions are "trustworthy?" Do you ever feel like your view of a situation is clouded by your personal feelings?
3) How does the feeling translate into action?
4) Anything else you feel like sharing. I'm just a T, so I'm not even sure how to word all this in F language.

You don't have to answer each individual question, as I probably repeated myself. Just give us an idea of what it's like to be F in this crazy world.

 

[disregard]

I'm very interested in these responses as well.

 

[Totenkindly]

... i have a really bad feeling this thread is going to be all about a bunch of T's posting and saying, "Yes, please share, we would like to assess what this means...!" and all the F's running for the hills...

 

[heart]

I read the post, I would not even know how to put such things into words.

 

[Seanan]

... i have a really bad feeling this thread is going to be all about a bunch of T's posting and saying, "Yes, please share, we would like to assess what this means...!" and all the F's running for the hills...

Awe... there have to be some brave ones. Come on "Fs" lay yourselves out. I have.

Like I really know what I'm talking about.

Thanks Tallulah.

For you brave Fs... I especially want to know how you experience emotions. Excuse my Tness but is it mental? physical? or a combination of both. Are you having thoughts at the time and what are they? Like are you thinking "happy?" or thinking "sad? I'm sorry.

 

[heart]

I will say this, feeling is more sure than thinking. Logic comes to me like a reflection in a mirror. I can see, know it but I would have a hard time defending it step by step to someone else.

 

[cascadeco]

I think I'll take a stab at being brave...after I get back from my walk!

 

[Tigerlily]

It sucks okay? I don't always use feelings when making decisions but I also live with a Thinker so that has helped. We compliment one another well.

PS I'm not comfortable talking about how I feel. What does that mean?

 

[nightning]

... i have a really bad feeling this thread is going to be all about a bunch of T's posting and saying, "Yes, please share, we would like to assess what this means...!" and all the F's running for the hills...

Jennifer is far too perceptive.

Shall I turn that question around and ask "What's it like to be a Thinker"?

How am I suppose to know? I just am one.

Attempt at questions
1) When you talk about feelings/emotions, how do you experience them?
I don't talk about feelings/emotions. Whoever that hears me describe how I feel will either be a very close friend or be from a place where I maintain anonymity. In both situations I give tend to give vague descriptions.

While giving out such vague descriptions, I feel absolutely nothing. I'm reporting an experience that's all. The only time I feel anything would probably be when I'm writing to myself.

2) Do you always go on your feelings? Do you feel that your emotions are "trustworthy?" Do you ever feel like your view of a situation is clouded by your personal feelings?
I consider my emotions as responses to my perception on things. They just are. Fe reacting to the situation. I don't understand how they can be trustworthy or not. I suppose I have develop instant dislike for a person and will attempt not to interact with said person. Usually those are valid. But when it comes to trusting them to go for something, I tend to take it slow and think first.

I don't really see this as being related to F so much as N though.


3) How does the feeling translate into action?
See answer 2

 

[heart]

Okay, now coming to me how to express in words....

1) When you talk about feelings/emotions, how do you experience them? My heart is almost always on fire but I don't show too much of that outwards. People who don't know me often accuse me of being cold. Feeling can run so high it is like religious type ecstasy. I don't need drugs or alcohol to get high!

Everything in life inspires a feeling or a different nuance, color or tone in my emotinal world, everything affects me at a personal level and this is hard in an impersonal world.


2) Do you always go on your feelings? Do you feel that your emotions are "trustworthy?" Do you ever feel like your view of a situation is clouded by your personal feelings?

My Feelings to me when making decisions are my personal values. My thoughts are allowed a voice always, but thought needs to remain the servant not the master. When thinking gets the upper hand, I usually behave badly. Thinking can be a trickester in a way and I need to slow down when that happens and listen to feeling to make sure I am on track, acting out of my heart.

As long as thinking follows feeling, and not allowed its own way without supervision by feeling, I do much better and make far better decisions. Thinking is the support for feeling.


3) How does the feeling translate into action?
It shows through the values that motivate my actions.

Edited to add: I used to believe that being a feeler was somehow bad or unfavorable, but now I am making peace with it. I realize that in my earlier attempts to squealsh feeling I only prevented myself from being what I am best at and I often get way off track. I can only be what I am. The key to perspective as feeler is to allow thinking a voice but to always realize that it is servant to the master, it should never be given the keys and allowed to drive, it is inferior for the feeler, a naughty, rebel teen when allowed full reign without feeling keeping it in its place. Of course this is not true for thinking in the thinker and they may not understand such a comment being made by a feeler.

 

[cafe]

1) When you talk about feelings/emotions, how do you experience them?
I don't know how to describe it.

2) Do you always go on your feelings? No.
Do you feel that your emotions are "trustworthy?" They are data, but not the only data.
Do you ever feel like your view of a situation is clouded by your personal feelings? Yes, but that's not always a bad thing. Personal feelings (of both myself and others) are valid data and ought to be included in the evaluation of a situation.

3) How does the feeling translate into action?
I might vent or cry or say something nice? I'm not sure what this question means.

 

[SillySapienne]

1) When you talk about feelings/emotions, how do you experience them?

I experience/observe life from a passionate perspective, one in which my mental self and my emotional self are highly infused, and integrated with each other. In my world, most complex/novel stimuli I sense evoke a strong emotional response. I often think I have a strange type of synesthesia where all things experienced/perceived/conceived, both animate and inanimate in nature, abstract and concrete in form, are processed simultaneously along with their "emotional component/counterparts". Every thing I perceive/imagine, has, and is accompanied by, an emotional component, that of which consists of either an aura of good-ness or bad-ness (* it should be noted that neutral things are processed at the subconscious level, and therefore, in regards to my attention, largely go unnoticed).

Experience has led me to believe that something with a good-ness aura is usually not only internally consistent, but more often than not, it proves to also be an important component to an existing, transcendent, external source/medium/pathway, whereas something with a bad-ness aura, is usually either internally inconsistent, or in and of itself, embodies an inconsistent/inappropriate/potentially-malignant part/component to that existing, transcendent, external source/medium/pathway for which it plays a role. (Oy vey, this must make no sense to anyone else but me!!!)

All in all, my feelings act as my guide both in social and intellectual pursuits. Because my feeling self is able to process information at a much faster rate than my thinking self can, it has therefore been common for me to "feel the way", before I "know the way", when I've been confronted with unfamiliar things, i.e. novel data.

 

[Seanan]

1) When you talk about feelings/emotions, how do you experience them? My heart is almost always on fire but I don't show too much of that outwards. People who don't know me often accuse me of being cold. Feeling can run so high it is like religious type ecstasy. I don't need drugs or alcohol to get high!

Everything in life inspires a feeling or a different nuance, color or tone in my emotinal world, everything affects me at a personal level and this is hard in an impersonal world.


2) Do you always go on your feelings? Do you feel that your emotions are "trustworthy?" Do you ever feel like your view of a situation is clouded by your personal feelings?

My Feelings to me when making decisions are my personal values. My thoughts are allowed a voice always, but thought needs to remain the servant not the master. When thinking gets the upper hand, I usually behave badly. Thinking can be a trickester in a way and I need to slow down when that happens and listen to feeling to make sure I am on track, acting out of my heart.

As long as thinking follows feeling, and not allowed its own way without supervision by feeling, I do much better and make far better decisions. Thinking is the support for feeling.



Edited to add: I used to believe that being a feeler was somehow bad or unfavorable, but now I am making peace with it. I realize that in my earlier attempts to squealsh feeling I only prevented myself from being what I am best at and I often get way off track. I can only be what I am. The key to perspective as feeler is to allow thinking a voice but to always realize that it is servant to the master, it should never be given the keys and allowed to drive, it is inferior for the feeler, a naughty, rebel teen when allowed full reign without feeling keeping it in its place. Of course this is not true for thinking in the thinker and they may not understand such a comment being made by a feeler.

I think I almost had it and then lost it. First, I respectfully, want to say don't ever wish you weren't as you are. Some of my favorite people appear to be "F"... I admire them... why else would I want to understand? Its not just idle curiosity.

Now, to what you wrote:

Aren't your values formed with thought? So when you go with those I don't understand where the feelings are. How is thought a "trickster?" When you're "listeing to feeling" what is the process? What are you listening too? Are you experiencing something physical or mental? By feeling, do you mean this is something you have, previously, thought out and are keying into it without thinking.. as in "programmed?"

Okay... here's the INTP apology... I'm sorry if I've said anything offensive. I would never intentionally offend. If I have, please consider it simply my failure with the language. Thanks.

 

[nemo]

This is absolutely fascinating.

 

[Ender]

Absolutely horrid at times.

I rarely talk about my feelings/emotions, don't really know all that many people who could even begin to understand what they're like for me.

My feelings are what rule me for the most part, but I am highly logical so I do know when to go off my feelings and when to reel them back based on the situation at hand. There is certain lines that when crossed that logic goes out the window.

On the outside I come off as calm, even cold and emotionless to people IRL. Theres a few people I know that have never seen me angry in all the years they've known me, and have even said that because of it they'd hate to see what would happen if I did become angry. My Grandfather is one of those people.

On the inside tho..

I can bounce in and out of moods that people would perceive as depression in an instant. Based purely on a thought, or something that someone has or hasn't said.

Dealing with others in a one on one situation that deals with emotional content can be like being stuck on a rack and pulled both ways. A battle between not wanting to be hurt and at the same time not wanting to hurt the other person since that type of pain is very real to me.

Absolutely everything can be effected; sleep since I can be either exhausted or so on edge that I either just can't wake up or can't fall asleep, concentration varies I'm either hyper focused on something or I just can't wrap my mind around it at all since it's off somewhere else, appetite since theres times when I just can't eat even if I'm starving, energy levels I can either have seemingly limitless amounts or absolutely none at all.

Emotions can have a physical feel to them, sadness leaves me feeling empty yet at the same time like something is compressing the insides of my chest.

 

[heart]

I think I almost had it and then lost it. First, I respectfully, want to say don't ever wish you weren't as you are. Some of my favorite people appear to be "F"... I admire them... why else would I want to understand? Its not just idle curiosity.

Now, to what you wrote:

Aren't your values formed with thought? So when you go with those I don't understand where the feelings are. How is thought a "trickster?" When you're "listeing to feeling" what is the process? What are you listening too? Are you experiencing something physical or mental? By feeling, do you mean this is something you have, previously, thought out and are keying into it without thinking.. as in "programmed?"

Okay... here's the INTP apology... I'm sorry if I've said anything offensive. I would never intentionally offend. If I have, please consider it simply my failure with the language. Thanks.

I am not offended at all.

Feeling in the feeler is a judging function, not just emotion. My feeling can run counter to what I happen "want" in a given situation. I often see thinkers equate feeling to "wanting to believe that what you want is valid." It is not that way at all.


My feeling is hard to explain. This is why I wanted to shy away from the question. Yes, the brain is used in feeling as judgement just the same as you use your brain with Ti but it is different sort of anaylsis.

It is a collection of values and experiences and well...feelings about what things mean to me. See this is why it is hard to put into words.

Thinking in me is inferior. It often shows itself to me in a negative way. Criticalness, clinging stubbornly to agruments etc. It can trick me into seeing things more negative than they really are or to behave as if things were more negative, sinister than they are.

Feeling is more sure, steady and open, positive.

So I need to listen to what thinking offers but then I need to put it through the filter of feeling to make sure I am on track with what is best for me and my own personal value system in any situation.

My experience with thinking will be vastly different than yours because of the difference between being inferior and dominant.

 

[Tallulah]

My Feelings to me when making decisions are my personal values. My thoughts are allowed a voice always, but thought needs to remain the servant not the master. When thinking gets the upper hand, I usually behave badly. Thinking can be a trickester in a way and I need to slow down when that happens and listen to feeling to make sure I am on track, acting out of my heart.

As long as thinking follows feeling, and not allowed its own way without supervision by feeling, I do much better and make far better decisions. Thinking is the support for feeling.

This is fascinating to me! For me, it's the exact opposite. For a thinker, the feeling is what leads us astray, like if something happens that shakes us to the core where we're forced to deal with our emotions and can't think straight. But I can see how if you're listening to your feelings and you have learned that they'll always steer you in the right direction, that if you tried to turn that off and used pure thinking without being guided by feeling, it would feel false or cold. Is that right?

CaptainChick, that is very interesting! I find that, even though I'm a T, I have some of the same experience you described, due to a strong sense of intuition. BUT, and perhaps it's b/c my feeling isn't as developed, sometimes my intuition can be led astray because of some personal fear or insecurity I have.

I wonder if the SF people are more apt to emote as the emotion is felt? Like sad=immediate crying, rather than feeling, but still maybe not showing it, as some of you have mentioned. It sounds like NFs might tend to feel things strongly but might not show it to just anyone? Is that true, S people?

Also, y'all, please know that all this is meant entirely respectfully. I have no intention of picking you apart or using the information for evil.

 

[Seanan]

On the inside tho..

I can bounce in and out of moods that people would perceive as depression in an instant. Based purely on a thought, or something that someone has or hasn't said.

Dealing with others in a one on one situation that deals with emotional content can be like being stuck on a rack and pulled both ways. A battle between not wanting to be hurt and at the same time not wanting to hurt the other person since that type of pain is very real to me.

Absolutely everything can be effected; sleep since I can be either exhausted or so on edge that I either just can't wake up or can't fall asleep, concentration varies I'm either hyper focused on something or I just can't wrap my mind around it at all since it's off somewhere else, appetite since theres times when I just can't eat even if I'm starving, energy levels I can either have seemingly limitless amounts or absolutely none at all.

Emotions can have a physical feel to them, sadness leaves me feeling empty yet at the same time like something is compressing the insides of my chest.

Man, that sucks! So, if I'm gathering right, its kind of empathic? You experience the sadness or whatever that person who is relating it did? Rather than thinking about what they went through you're experiencing it as if you were there? And it can be actually physical? Is it the same on the flip side... as in joy?

 

[Ender]

Man, that sucks! So, if I'm gathering right, its kind of empathic? You experience the sadness or whatever that person who is relating it did? Rather than thinking about what they went through you're experiencing it as if you were there? And it can be actually physical? Is it the same on the flip side... as in joy?

At times yes it can be, and yes in both ways sadness and joy. Hence why I end up devoting most of my time to keeping my surroundings harmonic, and those close to me as happy as possible.

People often mistake my reasons for doing as such as something completely different tho.

 

[Delilah]

Reading about this might give me nightmares, I don't know how you people do it.