What do people say of you?

[Ghost of the dead horse]

I'm interested of what kind of comments people have directed at us, regarding our behavior and personality. Only Real Life comments we didn't specifically ask for, for this thread.

It's an interesting addition to the kind of feedback we actively seek from each other, and the kind of feedback we get from standardized tests. I'll start. I remember last 4 occasions when my general behavior was commented on.

This is supposed to be somewhat serious thread, with the purpose to find how the comments received correlate to type, and why the particular things were said and other were not.

-I was said to be a "funster" or a "jokester", no exact translation available.
-I said being "somewhat" extraverted, being seriously doubted about the "somewhat" part in return.
-I was said to be a good speaker (the finnish word for that meaning speaking as in conversation or anywhere)
-I was said to have an accurate insight into a person's character

 

[Mort Belfry]

Does it only count on this forum?

The last time somebody characterised me they said I was like Gene Wilder's Willy Wonka in that I'm a nice guy but that I can get away with saying horrible, nasty things to people.

 

[Ghost of the dead horse]

I'm asking for characterizations from the REAL WORLD please, no forum comments thank you!

 

[Ivy]

People say all kinds of odd things that don't resonate with me. It may just be the way of things for introverts- we're often difficult to get to know.

I hear a lot about how patient I am (I might seem that way because I am outwardly calm most of the time but I'm frequently a bundle of nerves on the inside). That's the one that comes to mind first.

 

[OctaviaCaesar]

I went to college and was told by older students that I was very well-spoken. I was surprised and took it as a great compliment.

 

[INTJMom]

People have said they admire me for my honesty.

 

[Ghost of the dead horse]

People say all kinds of odd things that don't resonate with me. It may just be the way of things for introverts- we're often difficult to get to know.

I hear a lot about how patient I am (I might seem that way because I am outwardly calm most of the time but I'm frequently a bundle of nerves on the inside). That's the one that comes to mind first.

Why do you think the people said those things? Hasty generalization?

Do you value such comments made on your outward appearance?

 

[Totenkindly]

My therapist told me that, the day I first went, she got the feeling first that I was a very safe and very kind individual.

Within a session or two, she also realized I was very smart.

Usually it is things like that: Quiet, friendly, safe, funny, smart/perceptive, creative, kind. Negatively, I think I have been called (at different times) aloof, socially clumsy, goofy, distant, uninvolved, and passive.

 

[substitute]

All sorts of things. Really, literally, I think I've been called just about everything. Well, obviously not EVERYTHING, but so many things, some conflicting with others, all equally true and yet false... I guess that's the price of being a changeling Biggest compliment I got was when someone likened me to St Thomas More ("a man for all seasons"), referencing exactly this changeability that leads to being called everything under the sun!

Whatever I get called though, I usually don't take it personally... it's just that person's response to the 'me' that I'm presenting at that time. Anytime I could change it to a different presentation, play myself on a different wavelength and they'd respond differently. So... *shrug*

On my blog I have a list that I update every week, of the things I've been called that week, which often illustrates this point.

 

[Usehername]

INTJ

*grade 8 gym class my teacher said, "Usehername, I can recognize you far down the hall by the way you walk. You never look like you know where you're going." (She genuinely meant it as a compliment, though, when I asked. Because she meant I was a dreamer.)
*I have a great imagination (junior high teacher, also a high school English teacher)
*You're friends with every crowd because you know how to find a way to relate to anyone
*You're a grade-A schemer (biology teacher in whose class I regularly concocted plans and she liked me anyway because we got along so well)
*You can say the most inappropriate things and people will never be offended or mad because you're socially inept and it comes across as endearing. (I like to think of it as my NiTeNe supercombo although this was in high school and I've since improved my social skills)
*I write great and thoughtful personal letters

 

[Tigerlily]

People say all kinds of odd things that don't resonate with me. It may just be the way of things for introverts- we're often difficult to get to know.

I hear a lot about how patient I am (I might seem that way because I am outwardly calm most of the time but I'm frequently a bundle of nerves on the inside). That's the one that comes to mind first.

Having spent time with Ivy I would say she does appear confident, calm and low key. She says this is on the outside and only she really knows what's happening on the inside.

I suppose I only choose to think of the negative statements people say about me. I often find that people want to change me or have me behave differently which is very annoying. "Why don't you do such and such instead" kind of thing which is why I tend to avoid people.

I was once told "You're so intense".
"You're such a good Mother"
"Your house is so clean"
"You're neurotic"

Agg that's enough for now.

 

[Ivy]

Why do you think the people said those things? Hasty generalization?

Do you value such comments made on your outward appearance?

I think they may just assume that WYSIWYG, and while I don't lie or consciously deceive people I think I do closely guard my inner life. Only people with whom I am very comfortable can see me with the guard down. I value comments in that I appreciate knowing how people see me, but I don't necessarily accept them as true about my deeper self. I don't believe they are being shallow when all I give them is the boundary. I do wish people would understand that WYS isn't always WYG.

 

[Athenian200]

Mainly, I get told that seem somewhat formal and tense, if I'm noticed at all. People who work with me in groups tell me I'm "smart" repeatedly if I try to ask them for their input, and then proceed to leave me with all or most of the work.

 

[Tigerlily]

^ I analyze almost everyone I meet to the Nth degree and I cannot totally figure this one out.

 

[cascadeco]

Over email years ago I received some of these comments from a dear friend -

*It takes a sensitive person, not sensitive in frail, weepy sense, but a sensitivity, a feeling for life. You have the sensitivity I'm talking about. It is reflected in your thoughtfulness and inquisitiveness and a number of other things.
*You're one of the very few people I can talk to exchange ideas with, communicate, without conflict or argument, whether or not we are in agreement. its rare to find such openness.
*Its always great to talk with you, always that feeling of openness. I like not having to beat around the bush or refrain from saying something for fear that you would be upset.

Typically I'll get comments along the lines of my being quiet, sweet, intelligent, talented, controlled/poised, or 'interesting'.

I also get the phrase: "you hit the nail on the head" directed at me pretty frequently.

My mom told me when I was growing up that I was 'definitely unique'. She didn't elaborate.:rolli: She also mentioned once that I was very strong-willed and opinionated. tee hee!

------------------
The negatives -

I've been called selfish by my family on more than one occasion (and once, 'You're a selfish little brat!!!'), the few times I've actually stated my mind and stuck up for myself.

When a friendship was ending, we were both hurt/upset, and I had detached myself so as to not say anything mean-spirited to her, she said --- 'Your responses make me feel like I am in a counseling session with my therapist. They feel, to me, very cold and robotic.'

 

[Tigerlily]

Elaborating I'd say people probably think I'm very friendly and helpful and I can be I suppose but sometimes I shut down and withdraw completely. I'm weird a freak even.

 

[pure_mercury]

Positives: smart, hilarious, lots of fun, sensitive, loyal, genuine, passionate, kind
Negatives: overbearing, cruel, "only sees in black-and-white," "a sociopath"

 

[Tigerlily]

Positives: smart, hilarious, lots of fun, loyal, genuine, passionate, kind
Negatives: overbearing, cruel, "only sees in black-and-white," "a sociopath"

HEY! We could totally be bffs! But only if you're gay cuz my husband probably wouldn't like me hangin out with a hetero guy.

 

[Ghost of the dead horse]

My therapist told me that, the day I first went, she got the feeling first that I was a very safe and very kind individual.

Within a session or two, she also realized I was very smart.

Usually it is things like that: Quiet, friendly, safe, funny, smart/perceptive, creative, kind. Negatively, I think I have been called (at different times) aloof, socially clumsy, goofy, distant, uninvolved, and passive.

Sounds like a rather wide-angle view of you, with many aspects covered. Do you think you're being WYSIWYG to promote that kind of insight into you? Do you get these evaluations in a short or a long time of interaction?

Is there any personality trait that people fail to comment on you, leaving you wonder if they don't notice it?

 

[Ghost of the dead horse]

Those were great, Usehername.

*You're friends with every crowd because you know how to find a way to relate to anyone
*You can say the most inappropriate things and people will never be offended or mad because you're socially inept and it comes across as endearing. (I like to think of it as my NiTeNe supercombo although this was in high school and I've since improved my social skills)

Which of these comments you got first and which later?