In answer to the last question - yes! New information or perspective puts things in a whole different light for me. I can't just will myself to "get happy" about something, but tempering it with other things does change what it is. This is one of the reasons that I need to get other people's reactions to something. Is there something I'm not seeing, information I don't have, is my perspective being coloured by something that I am not aware of, do others see my reaction as reasonable given the circumstances?
I like your comparison of emotions having a windsock like quality. For me, that is certainly true. This is one of the reasons that I don't find it that valuable to spend a lot of time examining the emotion itself. It can tell me what way the wind is blowing, if there is wind, or direct me to looking at whether the wind is doing any damage, but other than that, it doesn't in and of itself do anything much for me. I think this is indeed why Fe tends to pass what is felt as judgements of Fi emotion. We appreciate that being done for us, and even sometimes when we don't appreciate it, it does change our way of acting or looking at things. While I cannot control what emotions come upon me, information/context that I or others may find can influence how I react to it and how much harm negative emotions can do to me or others.
With respect to Fe being action oriented, I think I see it like this. It does not help me to analyze what causes certain storm systems to develop right when there is a tornado headed directly for my house. What I need to know is if there is a way for me and my family to make it out alive and if there's any kind of damage control I can do before the tornado hits. All the tornado does is informs my course of action. It doesn't in and of itself mean anything to me if there is no kind of preventative action I can take to keep it from coming my way. If on the other hand, someone were to inform me that the tornado is coming near my community, but will not actually hit it, I would turn my efforts towards some other course of action that is more relevant than packing a few important items and getting away as quickly as possible.
I see my emotions similarly. There are key pieces of information that greatly influence what my course of action is and that alter my perspective on a situation. This is one of the reasons why I find it very difficult to act in the moment. I end up looking at it from a bunch of different people's perspectives. Then even when I have a strong belief that there is a reason that I feel as I do, I must pinpoint why with concrete evidence, or be able to prove a clear pattern. Then I try everything I can to fix it. These perspective shifts can be very frustrating because sometimes by the time I realize how serious a problem is with someone, it has become a deeply established pattern that is difficult for me to extricate myself from. This is why sometimes I rely on on other people to validate my negative feelings before I trust them, because I am not sure myself if it is just the vantage point I'm looking from that makes the world look that way.
While some emotions or reactions seem to be slightly delayed for me, I have a very hard time separating my inner feelings from how I express myself outwardly. Therefore, it is essential for me to vent off the toxic stuff or get some different perspective before doing or saying something that could be very damaging to those around me. It does seem to me that NFPs are more able to separate the inner feelings and outer expression a little differently than I can.
I don't consider emotions completely meaningless, but I also do not especially trust them to not be fickle. For me personally, most of my feelings about someone are coloured by my last interaction with them (not the present one) because it takes time for me to process things. Therefore, I may discover after the present interaction that something is bothering me, or that I feel more positive about someone and I need time to figure out what gave me that feeling and then what the implications of that are for the next interaction.
Negative emotions also affect me physically. I definitely see negative emotions as toxic, not because I'm afraid of looking at sad or angry things, but because they have a very deep impact on me and on how I relate to others. Even when I think consciously that I am handling things as well as possible, focussing on doing what I can to improve things and letting go of what I can't, it comes out in dreams or in physical symptoms like nausea, extreme fatigue, stomach pains and cold extremeties. It is something that I want to get past or resolve, because it makes it difficult for me to go on effectively.