[ISFP] ISFP's and communication

[Randomnity]

lol maybe he just doens't want to talk about emotional things with you

It is kind of surprising though that my ISTP brother actually seems to operate with more ease when there's one of those intense emotional bonding moments between us. I sort of just freeze up out of being overwhelmed by emotion. It's kind of weird. There's seems to be a flip sometimes in our relationship where he acts more like the feeler and I act more like the thinker.

Btw mundane is disgusting. Revolting. Horrible. I hope I never go on about mundane things.

ETA: I love your avatar

Sunshine, you're back?!

You might be right that it's just me, I suppose, although I have trouble imagining him being emotional with the other people he's remotely close with either (male best friend, sister, mom, dad). Not to say it couldn't happen. He's just very...stoic, I guess. Or just quiet enough that he seems stoic. I'm definitely more "emotion-showing" than him - I'm still not sure whether he actually doesn't feel extreme emotions often or if he just doesn't want to share them. I would assume Fi would tend to the latter.

It's just what you say though, that we switch and I feel like I'm the feeler somehow...I always figured it was a male-female/socialization thing, but it's interesting that you see the same thing with your brother.

 

[Rail Tracer]

I'm still not sure whether he actually doesn't feel extreme emotions often or if he just doesn't want to share them. I would assume Fi would tend to the latter.

I feel "extreme" emotions alright. I just don't show them all too often in real life or that I limit them. Could be the case with your ISFP.

I would say the best way to describe it is that I keep my emotions under control.

 

[Sunny Ghost]

I feel "extreme" emotions alright. I just don't show them all too often in real life or that I limit them. Could be the case with your ISFP.

I would say the best way to describe it is that I keep my emotions under control.

i think this fits in with the whole, too cool for school ISFP attitude a lot of us radiate. we have a great depth of emotions... but i suppose because it's our daily reality, we learn to suppress them on the outside at least.

 

[Sunshine]

Sunshine, you're back?!

You might be right that it's just me, I suppose, although I have trouble imagining him being emotional with the other people he's remotely close with either (male best friend, sister, mom, dad). Not to say it couldn't happen. He's just very...stoic, I guess. Or just quiet enough that he seems stoic. I'm definitely more "emotion-showing" than him - I'm still not sure whether he actually doesn't feel extreme emotions often or if he just doesn't want to share them. I would assume Fi would tend to the latter.

It's just what you say though, that we switch and I feel like I'm the feeler somehow...I always figured it was a male-female/socialization thing, but it's interesting that you see the same thing with your brother.

Oh you were talking about your boyfriend. Hrmp. Yeah I dunno. Honestly that strikes me as kind of strange. Maybe you're right and it has to do with male socialization.

Yeah heh I'm back ....for a while....

 

[Walking Tourist]

This is what finally convinced me that I am truly not an isfp. I never suppress any of my emotions. I can't. When I try to, I must make a terrible face because people say, "What's the matter?" I am completely unable to give off that poker face unless I am playing a game, such as Rummy Jack, and, then, I can hide my feelings really well. No one can guess my next move.

i think this fits in with the whole, too cool for school ISFP attitude a lot of us radiate. we have a great depth of emotions... but i suppose because it's our daily reality, we learn to suppress them on the outside at least.

 

[Serenes]

My S/N is really close soo...

Upon first getting to know someone, I find that I enjoy Listening to them.. In a group, I may just sit quietly and observe/listen to how that person socializes with others to understand them a bit more & what they may be like. Then when we're alone, I'd ask them random questions to get a better understanding as well. I'm usually always friendly too and try to joke a lot to loosen the other person up and break the ice between us. I really like it when someone can give me a different view on things without being arrogant about it.. it makes me go 'wow, interesting.. never thought of it that way.' and when I like someone I just enjoy listening to what they've been up to/doing.

A friend told me, that I ask questions a lot, and yet I usually don't answer them myself lol. I think that's true, because if not directly asked a question back, I will not openly share and elaborate as much(since they don't seem interested enough).. although I may return some thought after I get to hear the other person's view first (because it gives me more knowledge on how they may perceive what I'm going to share in return, and that's a bit more comforting to be able to predict their reaction). Soo that's probably why I usually keep ideas/personal things to myself more, because if I don't know someone well enough.. I'm afraid they may react badly to what I may share & it can cause bad feelings!

So when I'm with friends I've known for a time, comfortable with, or close to... I can be a total chatterbox, bouncy, and fun lol. I've also had friends that thought something was wrong/bothering me when I wasn't talking because once I got to know them well, I talk a lot. My friends also call me random... I sort of flutter from one idea to another and back again sometimes, because when w/e interesting comes to my mind regarding the subject we are talking about, I'll just blurt it out too.. and then we may go off on the tangent.. and then we wonder what we were talking about in the first place lol. But to me, it makes sense/flows and I never thought of it being random.... until friends point it out to me that I keep changing the subject. (I also randomly change topics or ask abrupt questions on purpose sometimes to steer the conversation elsewhere if I view it going somewhere uncomfortable).

I put a lot of importance on trying not to intrude and hurt other people in what I say/talk about with others.. so to people that hardly know me, I can be very friendly but somewhat distant as well. With closer friends, because I trust them enough, I can share my thoughts more often without being afraid of negative feelings it may cause and be more honest.

 

[Quinlan]

I suck at communicating, usually by the time I think of something interesting to say the conversation has moved on to something else.

 

[Sunny Ghost]

Yeah, I find trying to get more in an Se mode, versus Fi mode helps. But it's not something one can do consciously. I find alcohol helps.

 

[wolfy]

I suck at communicating, usually by the time I think of something interesting to say the conversation has moved on to something else.

I just say it anyway, even hours on. I've become known for it.

 

[JoSunshine]

ISFP's have a tendency to be more spontaneous, impulsive, live without considering the consequences (ex. take off middle of the night to drive hours away to the mountains to watch a sunrise, though they have to work in the morning. it might be an extreme example... but i did this and have other examples of similar behavior.) they are also often considered child-like, are very playful and silly at times. sometimes perceived as not taking life seriously. (though it's definitely not the case.) also, though we may feel very strongly about our ideals, ethics, or spiritual or philosophical pursuits, we often have a hard time defending our opinions to others, or explaining them out clearly. this often leads to us feeling inferior or dumb, making us insecure.

INFP's on the other hand, are typically more restrained and come off much more mature. they can be goofy and theatrical at times, but don't compare to the ISFP's level of playfulness. they are more likely to consider the consequences of their behavior. (i.e. tend to be less spontaneous. will be mindful of the fact they have to work in the morning, and therefore will not go out to a party and drink the night before.) they tend to be great with their words, and can write the most beautiful poetry, or will clearly explain out their ideals or philosophy's on life.


any of that help?

I've been trying to figure out my I?FP. He says that he thinks about the consequences of everything that he does and knows when he is making an irresponsible decision, but does it anyway. He is artistic and philosophical. Playful at times, reserved at others. I have no idea.

I think it would be hard to tell the difference between an ISFP and INFP based on communication style alone. I would image they are largely the same.

 

[IZthe411]

I've been trying to figure out my I?FP. He says that he thinks about the consequences of everything that he does and knows when he is making an irresponsible decision, but does it anyway. He is artistic and philosophical. Playful at times, reserved at others. I have no idea.

I think it would be hard to tell the difference between an ISFP and INFP based on communication style alone. I would image they are largely the same.

Agreed here. I find that to be the same for all types separated by s/n (XTJs/XTPs/XFJs/XFPs). I'd say content of the communication is probably what's most different.

 

[Sunny Ghost]

I just say it anyway, even hours on. I've become known for it.

sounds like a cute quirk.

I've been trying to figure out my I?FP. He says that he thinks about the consequences of everything that he does and knows when he is making an irresponsible decision, but does it anyway. He is artistic and philosophical. Playful at times, reserved at others. I have no idea.

I think it would be hard to tell the difference between an ISFP and INFP based on communication style alone. I would image they are largely the same.

honestly, i feel as though communication style is one of the easiest ways to tell apart ISFP's from INFP's.

i personally find it very difficult to come up with the right words to express what i feel or think. even in this particular situation of trying to help you distinguish the ISFP from INFP. whereas, INFP's often don't lack the communication problem. this is one of the reasons why INFP's typically come off as more intelligent. ISFP's have a very weak Te, so in situations where we may be called upon on the spot to defend an idea or to try and clearly express something we feel strongly about, we begin to feel insecure in our use of language and uncomfortable in front of people. INFP's are great communicators and writers.

however, there are scenarios where i may not give off the fact that i have a weak Te... but it has to be something i've really deliberated over for quite some time... and i mean a very long time... and also this only works if i feel 100% comfortable with my audience as well. if i'm around someone i know less well, then i feel clusterf-ed.

as to whether one is more philosophical than the other, i'd say that's harder to gauge. my INFP ex hated whenever i got excited about something i learned in my philosophy classes that i wanted to talk about with him. i was more into philosophy, in that sense. but in other realms, he was more likely to develop his own philosophical pursuits, and was better apt at writing and explaining his ideas. he used to write me some of the most beautiful letters. i was more apt to show my feelings through action.

also, Se can also lead to some crazy impulses that may be hard to control.
Ne just leads to crazy ideas, typically. my INFP ex was very unspontaneous and very controlled.

both use Fi, however, as do deliberate on values, choices, etc. a lot. for ISFP's, sometimes it's almost as though Fi and Se work against, rather than together.
such as, i'd love to sit down and meditate more. i feel as though this is something i could truly benefit from (Fi). however, i'll get sidetracked and go off to the bar instead (Se).

 

[IZthe411]

sounds like a cute quirk.



honestly, i feel as though communication style is one of the easiest ways to tell apart ISFP's from INFP's.

i personally find it very difficult to come up with the right words to express what i feel or think. even in this particular situation of trying to help you distinguish the ISFP from INFP. whereas, INFP's often don't lack the communication problem. this is one of the reasons why INFP's typically come off as more intelligent. ISFP's have a very weak Te, so in situations where we may be called upon on the spot to defend an idea or to try and clearly express something we feel strongly about, we begin to feel insecure in our use of language and uncomfortable in front of people. INFP's are great communicators and writers.

however, there are scenarios where i may not give off the fact that i have a weak Te... but it has to be something i've really deliberated over for quite some time... and i mean a very long time... and also this only works if i feel 100% comfortable with my audience as well. if i'm around someone i know less well, then i feel clusterf-ed.

as to whether one is more philosophical than the other, i'd say that's harder to gauge. my INFP ex hated whenever i got excited about something i learned in my philosophy classes that i wanted to talk about with him. i was more into philosophy, in that sense. but in other realms, he was more likely to develop his own philosophical pursuits, and was better apt at writing and explaining his ideas. he used to write me some of the most beautiful letters. i was more apt to show my feelings through action.

also, Se can also lead to some crazy impulses that may be hard to control.
Ne just leads to crazy ideas, typically. my INFP ex was very unspontaneous and very controlled.

both use Fi, however, as do deliberate on values, choices, etc. a lot. for ISFP's, sometimes it's almost as though Fi and Se work against, rather than together.
such as, i'd love to sit down and meditate more. i feel as though this is something i could truly benefit from (Fi). however, i'll get sidetracked and go off to the bar instead (Se).

INFPs, according to function order, have the same amount of Te an ISFP would have.

I really fail to see how communication differs. I think the difference between N and S is that N will go over the river, across the border , through the valleys, streams and meadows to state a point where S will siimply cross the street. Excessive use of words and painted pictures does not equal more intelligent, or even more understanding.

I think Fi doms (both S&N) communicate in ways that others may find difficult. I don't doubt their smarts, though.

 

[Sunny Ghost]

i think Ne and tertiary Si helps them to communicate easier. Se isn't great for communicating.

i'm in no way saying ISFP's are dumb. i'm an ISFP myself and believe myself to be very intelligent. however, i do sometimes think that in the way i present myself and in the way i sometimes find myself stumped and having trouble communicating ideas, that i just come off as less so. i've noticed INFP's don't have this problem, and in fact are rather known for being quite eloquent with their words--poets of words.

 

[Sunny Ghost]

INFP:

The other INFP videos, I was iffy about them actually being the type they claim.

ISFP:

I've met a number of ISFP's very similar to this guy. However, depending upon enneagram differences and what not, you can also see varying degree's of ISFP.

 

[Serenes]

I've been trying to figure out my I?FP. He says that he thinks about the consequences of everything that he does and knows when he is making an irresponsible decision, but does it anyway. He is artistic and philosophical. Playful at times, reserved at others. I have no idea.

I think it would be hard to tell the difference between an ISFP and INFP based on communication style alone. I would image they are largely the same.

I'm similar.. I usually think about consequences about everything I will do... and sometimes because I anticipate possible failures & bad scenarios all the time, it makes me very reserved to do/say certain things. (thinking before I speak/do something). However, if I feel comfortable enough with a situation or certain people, this makes me feel more safe to act more playful, more daring etc. Or sometimes, I will have such a strong feeling about something that even when I know there will be bad consequences/irresponsible, I go ahead and do it anyways (do now for the good feelings, suffer later? lol).

I have an ISTP friend.. and I like his 'going with the flow' kind of attitude. I can randomly text him if we wants to hang out and he'd be like ok! I feel like if he's not doing anything, he will usually be up for anything in the spur of the moment. I can be the same, but I'm way more hesitant than he is. I'm not sure but it's like..... he seems so easygoing with w/e situation and can just live in the moment, whereas I may seem that way on the outside but inside I could be constantly worrying about something bad possibly happening and won't be able to relax as much as he can.

I can really imagine, him being the type to suddenly drop everything and go somewhere & do something for the fun of it without worrying too much about certain consequences. Let's just say, he's more daring than I am for sure

I'm also reserved and at other times playful, but my ISTP friend seems the same way. I think it's like that with all introverts though?

 

[wolfy]

i think Ne and tertiary Si helps them to communicate easier. Se isn't great for communicating.

i'm in no way saying ISFP's are dumb. i'm an ISFP myself and believe myself to be very intelligent. however, i do sometimes think that in the way i present myself and in the way i sometimes find myself stumped and having trouble communicating ideas, that i just come off as less so. i've noticed INFP's don't have this problem, and in fact are rather known for being quite eloquent with their words--poets of words.

I've found it takes me time to flesh out ideas. It used to frustrate me when I was younger and people would put pressure on me for the idea quick. These days I am more likely to push for space to think. That's probably why Adam Sandler is fidgety in the video, it gives him space to think. I think I am probably pretty smart, though I've noticed I don't notice what I know. You know?

 

[Rail Tracer]

I've found it takes me time to flesh out ideas. It used to frustrate me when I was younger and people would put pressure on me for the idea quick. These days I am more likely to push for space to think. That's probably why Adam Sandler is fidgety in the video, it gives him space to think. I think I am probably pretty smart, though I've noticed I don't notice what I know. You know?

It does tend to take me just a bit of time to let my ideas come out. It is just that I tend to make sure I say the right thing rather than blabber out what is the first thing that comes out of my mind. This is especially true with people I am not accustomed to.

It is like this one incident when I was talking to my academic planning counselor for college. She asked me whether my primary language was something other than English.
I asked her "why?"
She replied that I looked like I was trying to interpret something like her international students.

 

[Jeffster]

This is what finally convinced me that I am truly not an isfp. I never suppress any of my emotions. I can't. When I try to, I must make a terrible face because people say, "What's the matter?" I am completely unable to give off that poker face unless I am playing a game, such as Rummy Jack, and, then, I can hide my feelings really well. No one can guess my next move.

I'm not good at suppressing emotions, either. I'm very much a "heart on my sleeve" guy. I don't think that determines I/E though. Because, on the other hand when I'm at work and there are more than three people in the room, I want them to shut up and go away.

 

[Ghost of the dead horse]

2 of my last 3 threads have been first commented by and *ISFP* with a comment "what?"

I think that ISFP are generally uncommunicative. At least they're curious and somewhat open.