[MBTI General] ISFJ Views of INFPs?

[Adasta]

I've got an ISFJ friend and I just want to ask some ISFJs about how they view INFPs?

There don't seem to be too many problems between ISFJ & INFP (based upon this friendship) - similar interests and a firm acceptance/understanding of the need for time alone. One thing I've noticed about him is he often seems unable to accept my answers about something, as if he doesn't believe i'm actually fine with he is proposing.

A typical conversation may be something like:

- Hey, is it okay if I pay you that money I owe you in a couple of days?
- Yeah, no problem.
- Really? Are you sure?
- Yeah, really, I don't mind.
- Really? Because if it's a problem I can go to the bank later today and get you the money, it's just that...
- Seriously! It's not a problem.
- Oh, ok then.

Anyway, back to the original point: what do ISFJs think of INFPs?

 

[Rebe]

My ISFJ and I were tight like thieves. We had very similar taste in clothes, men, music, movies and humor. We were fundamentally different so we were careful to avoid full-out arguments over religion/etc. Her Si helped keep me straight although sometimes it's blunt. Her Fe is very warm and nurturing without being overbearing. She thought I was the cutest little thing who needed her help/guidance without being patronizing. We understood and knew each other like no one else. She was my best friend.

 

[Adasta]

My ISFJ and I were tight like thieves.

That's a great way to put it.

I always found this line from an English comedy show to sum up the relationship quite nicely.
(NB. A swear world is involved!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KnZbZbdJJg#t=1m9s

 

[tinker683]

I've got an ISFJ friend and I just want to ask some ISFJs about how they view INFPs?

There don't seem to be too many problems between ISFJ & INFP (based upon this friendship) - similar interests and a firm acceptance/understanding of the need for time alone. One thing I've noticed about him is he often seems unable to accept my answers about something, as if he doesn't believe i'm actually fine with he is proposing.

A typical conversation may be something like:

- Hey, is it okay if I pay you that money I owe you in a couple of days?
- Yeah, no problem.
- Really? Are you sure?
- Yeah, really, I don't mind.
- Really? Because if it's a problem I can go to the bank later today and get you the money, it's just that...
- Seriously! It's not a problem.
- Oh, ok then.

Anyway, back to the original point: what do ISFJs think of INFPs?

Regarding your convo, it's not that he or she doesn't believe you.. He or she is probably concerned with you maybe feeling that he or she is taking advantage of you. I personally *HATE* it when someone takes advantage of my kindness so I never want my friends to feel like I'm taking advantage of them.

I'd just sit them down and explain to them that you really don't like having to repeat yourself and if you tell them it's OK, then that's that. You may have to tell them this several times but it's usually what works for me

As for INFPs, I'm not sure if I know any or not....but if you're anything like your Extroverted counterparts, then I have no doubt that we'd get along swimmingly

 

[Giggly]

My ISFJ and I were tight like thieves. We had very similar taste in clothes, men, music, movies and humor. We were fundamentally different so we were careful to avoid full-out arguments over religion/etc. Her Si helped keep me straight although sometimes it's blunt. Her Fe is very warm and nurturing without being overbearing. She thought I was the cutest little thing who needed her help/guidance without being patronizing. We understood and knew each other like no one else. She was my best friend.

I need an INFP like you.

Regarding your convo, it's not that he or she doesn't believe you.. He or she is probably concerned with you maybe feeling that he or she is taking advantage of you. I personally *HATE* it when someone takes advantage of my kindness so I never want my friends to feel like I'm taking advantage of them.

I'd just sit them down and explain to them that you really don't like having to repeat yourself and if you tell them it's OK, then that's that. You may have to tell them this several times but it's usually what works for me

Hahaha spot on.

 

[Adasta]

Does the INFP tendency to focus on the abstract irritate ISFJs at all?

 

[Southern Kross]

The ISFJs I know do seem to get a little tired of my tangential waffling but they're nice enough to pretend they aren't

I find it hard to work out what ISFJ really think of me because they are so naturally accommodating. I'm interested to see what the responses are from ISFJs - I often wonder what goes through their heads.

 

[Giggly]

^ Mainly....

"I don't get what she's talking about. Maybe I misunderstood; I'll listen better."

 

[Adasta]

ISFJs seem to go out of their way to make sure that I am not upset about things that wouldn't really affect me much anyway. The example I gave initially is a good one. Perhaps one which doesn't involve money (which, sadly, affects us all) would be something like "Hey, I borrowed that book I asked you for the other week, but you weren't around to double-check that it was okay, so I took it anyway. I hope that's alright?"

I suppose what I really want to understand in this ISFJ/INFP dynamic is how best to implement the commonalities which obviously share.

We both seem quite able to talk about the present or the future and come up with mutually enjoyable ideas about what to do etc or how we view situations/people. However, I get the feeling that there is a greater need on the part of the ISFJ to go somewhere in a literal sense. For example, agreeing to go to a place with an ISFJ (e.g. we'll go out to that new club on Friday night together) seems to entail definitely going there no matter what. If I were to say "Look, I really don't feel like going anymore", I get the feeling that there would be a grudging acceptance but still deep disappointment for the ISFJ. Being an FP, however, means that this in turn makes me feel bad to the point where I would rather go even if I didn't feel like it if only to ensure that no-one gets upset - after all, I don't really care about going to the club anymore, so it's no big deal if I do go, I might just zone out a bit.

Is it the case that ISFJs need to be shown that what is agreed in theory will occur in practice? For me, agreeing in theory is usually enough, which is where this potential divergence may arise.

 

[DJAchtundvierzig]

I have 2 co-workers who are an INFP and ISFJ and from my experiance, the ISFJ has the upmost respect about him. They like MANY similar things, and both are very artistic. The ISFJ will usually make creative little gifts for the INFP for no reason. The INFP gives nothing back but being a good friend and some advice here and there. Personally I think she gives the INFP too much credit, but whatever.

 

[DJAchtundvierzig]

Does the INFP tendency to focus on the abstract irritate ISFJs at all?

From my experiance, the ISFJs just eat this up and devour it (in a good way) One ISFJ I know is an artist so she greatly appriciates abtract thinking.

 

[Rebe]

My ISFJ speaks wonderful metaphors with me - just wonderful - it makes us both laugh and admire. I think we sorta cover each other's weaknesses. When her Fe gets out of control, I try to tame it for her. When I get lost in Ne, she tames it for me. We tell each other when one of us is being stupid. She knows me so well, more than any of my other friends. I thought she was N while we first met because she likes abstract language. We also have vicious arguments but in a way that after it's done, we can put our pride aside and admit when we are wrong. In a way, we take turns being grown-ups and the other can indulge in being stupid/irrational.

 

[Adasta]

It looks like INFP + ISFJ =

I have to say, ISFJ seems to be a nice antidote to my INFP world-hating and constant despondency! They always seems quite upbeat about things. Since ISFJ is introverted, in what ways do you analyse "Introverted Feeling"? It's obviously different to INFPs, but it's something we share - I'm curious about it!

 

[MKJ]

I've got an ISFJ friend and I just want to ask some ISFJs about how they view INFPs?

There don't seem to be too many problems between ISFJ & INFP (based upon this friendship) - similar interests and a firm acceptance/understanding of the need for time alone. One thing I've noticed about him is he often seems unable to accept my answers about something, as if he doesn't believe i'm actually fine with he is proposing.

A typical conversation may be something like:

- Hey, is it okay if I pay you that money I owe you in a couple of days?
- Yeah, no problem.
- Really? Are you sure?
- Yeah, really, I don't mind.
- Really? Because if it's a problem I can go to the bank later today and get you the money, it's just that...
- Seriously! It's not a problem.
- Oh, ok then.

Anyway, back to the original point: what do ISFJs think of INFPs?

I have this friend who is an INFP, first thing first, I realized that INFP person has a very nice heart, but what I frustated with this type because when I ask something what he/she feels, they just said "Im okay" which obviously I saw them not doing good. I just cared about them, because they're sometimes being plainly too nice with others whom always hurting them. And how many times when I want to advice them, their look just don't want to hear. Then, I get tired taking care about them, because they keep themselves hurt by people whom they love. So, I thought for the next time, Im will just let them being who they are, because when several times Im thinking, being nice is a free and there is no harm for INFP people to do so. Finally, I accept who they are and it is because I care for them. x

 

[fetus]

They are very closed-off and emotionally distant, which can be hard, because I need affection. Never mean--actually quite nice--but just so reserved. Granted, I haven't met too many. They are lovely people.

 

[Lady Lazarus]

Meh.