I meant romantic relationships. You're just talking about STJs as friends, right?
Yes, friends. However, with male friends there can be that semi-romantic tinge. I think STJs & NFPs can be really stubborn, especially if we're talking male STJs & female NFPs. This is fine if you're on the same side, but when you oppose each other.... That's why it probably works well for some & not so well for others, like any match, but almost
exaggerated.
I think I'm drawn to ENFJs because you can have the same "us against the world" dynamic that is appealing in an elitist sort of way, but there's a compromising in conflict stemming from both desiring the win-win. The INFP may not always feel like they are the one who has to yield, or that they have to go on a value crusade to be heard.
I think INFPs should appreciate what's there in relationships rather than what's not. See the person in front of them as a whole, full-blooded person instead of a piece to fit into their ideal or their vision or their fantasy.
That's nice in theory....but will we really ever learn?
Seriously though, then comes the issue of
accepting the person as-is once you see them outside of the ideal you've fitted them into.
For whatever reason, INxP women often are often more dominant than their male counterparts.
I've noticed this about INFP women also, compared to INFP men. I wonder if it's the gender expectations thing....and how that affects male INFP's self-esteem.
I dated an ENFJ for a while, and the compatability was great. I was so impressed by her warmth towards everyone. She really nurtures other people, and is enthusiastic and warm. We're still really good friends.
Man, I was rooting for you guys. JoSunshine's relationship is my new beacon of hope. No pressure, JoSunshine...
I have always gotten along well with ESTPs. Two of my best friends are something like that type (I'm talking 'bromance' lol; we got along that well). We seem to have a natural compatability and attraction. For years I didn't know why, but then it occured to me: we admire things about the other person, things we don't naturally possess.
I'm a good musician. I have that skill, and both of my ESTP friends were attracted by and admired that about me. I was attracted to their ease with navigating the social world, which is not my forte. they are smooth and charming, and like adventure. We provided a gateway into each other's world.
If I had used type as a gauge, I might not have chosen either of them as friends. I would have missed out on so much, and for no reason other than following someone else's definitions.
So I have determined that true compatability is as much about what is different about people as what is similar. Typing someone tells you nothing about what they have experienced in life, how much heart they have, what their personal code or beliefs are, etc. There is so much more going on than is codified by four little letters.
I tend to hit it off with ESTPs off the bat if they are the intelligent kind (well, that's true of any type). I sometimes think they can spell DEATH for INFPs though; if you get swept away by them, they can manipulate you to compromise your ideals. Not that I'm speaking from experience or anything... :cough:
my INFP! Just in case you guys didn't know...I think I may have mentioned it before 
