[MBTI General] INFJ or INFP or another Type?

[heart]

unlike infp's. I like them and all, I just dont see there purpose. oh look at me Im emo, how dare you make fun of me for being different im special, I dont belong in the world and so what If I am acting like a stereotypical emo kid, im special... on goes the nfp rant

LOL, tell us how you really feel.

 

[zarc]

LOL, tell us how you really feel.

I really like you heart! INFP Enchantress with her ever changing romanticized Avatars!

Edit: OMGosh, you changed it again! And I remembered and then forgot as I wrote! Stupid Si!!!! :grin: (seriously )

 

[heart]

I really like you heart! INFP Enchantress with her ever changing romanticized Avatars!

Edit: OMGosh, you changed it again! And I remembered and then forgot as I wrote! Stupid Si!!!! :grin: (seriously )

I felt I had to give honor to the nice Valentine that Ivy made for me.

 

[theshadow]

LOL, tell us how you really feel.

I should stay away from the forum when im in moods like that.. I was at that moment listening to an xnfp talking about how she didnt want to get up in the mornings but she had to. and would rather kill herself "has a history of suicide attempts" but she couldnt because people expected her to do otherwise. of course those expectations were bothering her to.... but wait! theres more!! its time to hear her rant.. ok Ill stop

my first post wasnt meant to be generalizing. but quite a few of the Fi doms I know tend to act very narcissistic at times. ... when I run mouth to much things that shouldnt be said get said. I was venting a bit.

 

[cascadeco]

I actually don't have that much of a problem with people who say they're INFx, or ExFJ, etc etc. I think it's possible, especially when you get to individuals who are incredibly balanced between multiple functions.

But I also don't think all of the various theories tie together as seamlessly as people think they should. I think a blending of all the theories is reasonable. I think the dichotomy approach can be valid to a degree, because I think there are WAAYYYY too many factors with a pure cognitive theory approach that complicate things. A lot can depend on how one was raised, and ones' life experiences, in how adept one becomes at using various functions, as well as how someone might begin to 'flex' and consciously choose one function over another depending on the scenario. Maturity throws further complications into it.

I'm also not a big fan of my 'type' limiting my abilities, or using my 'type' as a crutch to say, 'Well, my dominant functions are XxYy, so that's what I use most of the time, that's just how I am, so I'm rarely going to use other functions, and all of my observable behavior is going to be the XxYy'. I'm not directing this at anyone, but that's the problem I start having when people emphasize the cognitive function approach more than other approaches.

Then you have the brain dominance theory too, but that doesn't work for people who are pretty much balanced between right and left (and I think I am).

When I take into account ALL of the theories, as well as my behaviors and traits growing up, and also account for conscious choices I make and things I have learned over time in interacting with others, and how I WANT to interact with others, I arrive at what I've decided is my best fit. Is it possible I'm another INxx?? Oh, sure it is. A few months ago, when I looked at pure cognitive functions, I could relate to Fe, Fi, Ne, and Ni very much. All of them. So I could be a chameleon, too, of INFJ, INFP, and INTJ (although I do think INTJ is out of the question because Te is totally weak for me, and I have little motivation to go Te on anyone). Would that then be a truer reflection of who I really am? A blend? But then that would go against the theory of everyone only having ONE real type.

To be honest, most INxx responses on this site resonate with me on one level or another, but INFx certainly more so, and INFJ the most.

All of this is to say -- I can relate to those who have an 'X' in their type, as to be honest for some I DON'T think it can be easy to determine type at all - esp. w/ the more balanced individuals or someone who has matured and often doesn't go with their 'kneejerk reaction' as much. I know for me I've pondered my type for years.

Further reflection and introspection on my personality type would be asinine, because much of my life IS introspecting and becoming more self-aware, so thinking about it more than I already do is totally pointless and wouldn't do a bit of good!. And I would imagine that people who have 'X' or are uncertain of their type have spent an equal amount of time pondering all of it, and genuinely can't make the call. I don't think it's THAT easy for everyone - only those who are very dominant in certain functions.

 

[wedekit]

So, Vicky Jo would be your Goddess then. I prefer to think of it as an INFJ Rosetta Stone .

Noun: Bible
1. A book regarded as authoritative in its field.

Though Rosetta Stone works just as well, too.

Literally a similie? Hmmmmm. I'll allow it.

"It can literally be like a bible I refer back to when I need some insight into my situations."

Adverb: Literally
1. (intensifier before a figurative expression) without exaggeration

If I recall correctly, a simile is considered figurative language.

 

[TK*]

I know atleast one enfp like that. and my infj freind is very analytical and usufull in figuring things like the future out.. unlike infp's. I like them and all, I just dont see there purpose. oh look at me Im emo, how dare you make fun of me for being different im special, I dont belong in the world and so what If I am acting like a stereotypical emo kid, im special... on goes the nfp rant

HAHAHAHAHA! ROFL! Evan, have you said that in INFPgc chat yet? If not, you should! "I just don't see their purpose" LOL! I'm sorry...but that's just hysterical! (Sorry to all the INFPs reading this)

However, I'll have to agree. No, I don't think INFPs are worthless (I'm in love with one...and I like most INFPs)...I agree with shadow that it seems INFPs whine an awful lot. "I hate my life! Wah! Wah! Wah!" and whatnot. It's a little annoying. INFPs are the most complex/frustrating people I've ever had to deal with! If some of them spent as much energy actually FIXING their problems instead of bitching about it...they might be better off.

Going back to the topic question. In general, INFPs are much more passive and floaty than INFJs. INFJs get things done. INFPs sit around daydreaming about getting things done. Oh yes, and then there's the Fi vs. Fe difference. To those of you who don't know what Fi looks like, I'll draw a metaphor:

Imagine a blackhole...the darkest deepest blackhole there ever was. Now imagine that for whatever reason you decide to be friends with this blackhole. So naturally you pour your feelings and ideas into this gigantic black pit. Since it's a blackhole, whatever you pour in seems to disappear...and though you may wait for a response the blackhole is just going to sit there without moving or changing. That's Fi. Nothing seems to go in or come out since everything is felt internally. INFPs are very intense/sensitive/passionate people...although to the rest of the world they appear as silent blackholes. I call this: "The Teddybear Blackhole Phenomenon," lol.

 

[theshadow]

HAHAHAHAHA! ROFL! Evan, have you said that in INFPgc chat yet? If not, you should! "I just don't see their purpose" LOL! I'm sorry...but that's just hysterical! (Sorry to all the INFPs reading this)

I dont think I will. They dont need my encouragement .they need

Going back to the topic question. In general, INFPs are much more passive and floaty than INFJs. INFJs get things done. INFPs sit around daydreaming about getting things done. Oh yes, and then there's the Fi vs. Fe difference. To those of you who don't know what Fi looks like, I'll draw a metaphor:

infj's tend to be very dedicated people.. the inxj's I know are far more dedicated workers than me. im way to people focused. most of the time. kinda like infp's... accept there focus isn't something that can be directly expressed in terms of external value. however what comes out is usually "well felt out". ohh... ok I just thought of one purpose. the infp exists to validate the existance of other infp's. "and the emo's". my mother "enfp" puts quite a bit of energy into makeing sure I accept myself... which is noble but is also a very Fi thing.

Imagine a blackhole...the darkest deepest blackhole there ever was. Now imagine that for whatever reason you decide to be friends with this blackhole. So naturally you pour your feelings and ideas into this gigantic black pit. Since it's a blackhole, whatever you pour in seems to disappear...and though you may wait for a response the blackhole is just going to sit there without moving or changing. That's Fi. Nothing seems to go in or come out since everything is felt internally. INFPs are very intense/sensitive/passionate people...although to the rest of the world they appear as silent blackholes. I call this: "The Teddybear Blackhole Phenomenon," lol.

haha Tk, its a good thing we are in NO way capable of being dramatic

 

[Griffi97]

I was at that moment listening to an xnfp talking about how she didnt want to get up in the mornings but she had to. and would rather kill herself "has a history of suicide attempts" but she couldnt because people expected her to do otherwise. of course those expectations were bothering her to.... but wait! theres more!! its time to hear her rant.. ok Ill stop

my first post wasnt meant to be generalizing. but quite a few of the Fi doms I know tend to act very narcissistic at times. ... when I run mouth to much things that shouldnt be said get said. I was venting a bit.

No, I don't think INFPs are worthless (I'm in love with one...and I like most INFPs)...I agree with shadow that it seems INFPs whine an awful lot. "I hate my life! Wah! Wah! Wah!" and whatnot. It's a little annoying. INFPs are the most complex/frustrating people I've ever had to deal with! If some of them spent as much energy actually FIXING their problems instead of bitching about it...they might be better off.

Going back to the topic question. In general, INFPs are much more passive and floaty than INFJs. INFJs get things done. INFPs sit around daydreaming about getting things done. Oh yes, and then there's the Fi vs. Fe difference. To those of you who don't know what Fi looks like, I'll draw a metaphor:

Imagine a blackhole...the darkest deepest blackhole there ever was. Now imagine that for whatever reason you decide to be friends with this blackhole. So naturally you pour your feelings and ideas into this gigantic black pit. Since it's a blackhole, whatever you pour in seems to disappear...and though you may wait for a response the blackhole is just going to sit there without moving or changing. That's Fi. Nothing seems to go in or come out since everything is felt internally. INFPs are very intense/sensitive/passionate people...although to the rest of the world they appear as silent blackholes. I call this: "The Teddybear Blackhole Phenomenon," lol.

Hmmmm... It sounds like you guys have been hanging around the wrong INFP's. Still, I'm not going to be able to let this one slide.

My husband is INFP, and he has risen to the very pinnacle of success in his chosen profession. He is the president of the medical association of his area of expertise, and he won the international practitioner of the year award in his chosen field. He works tirelessly to improve the knowledge base in his field by writing scientific papers, book chapters, and by teaching, lecturing, and developing new ways of providing continuing education in his field. He has accomplished all of this, and still has such modesty that he blushes whenever anyone gives him a compliment. And did I mention that he's extremely good-looking? Sorry, I digress...

Other INFP's that I have known: a kick-ass surgery technician, an assistant librarian in a university library, a pre-vet student, a Christian missionary. None of these people seemed like emotional black-holes to me. In fact, each has propped me up at some time or other when I needed it.

And what is the incidence of giftedness in this type, something like around 5 times more likely than average to be gifted (CaptainChick?)? Some of our most gifted creative writers and greatest humanitarians come from this group, not to mention Isabell Briggs Myers herself. What a debt we owe her...

I think you guys are describing unhealthy INFP's. Certainly this type is as capable as any of accomplishing anything they put their mind to.

 

[theshadow]

Hmmmm... It sounds like you guys have been hanging around the wrong INFP's. Still, I'm not going to be able to let this one slide.

I appreciate what you have to say

extremely good-looking? Sorry, I digress...

thats cute.

In fact, each has propped me up at some time or other when I needed it

.
yep. the ones I know to enfp's also expect that you will do the same for them though... this usually goes something like yes you are right for yourself. "why are you always like this your never take my side" I wasnt disagreeing...

I think you guys are describing unhealthy INFP's. Certainly this type is as capable as any of accomplishing anything they put their mind to.

I certainly made no claims as to what they could or could not accomplish. sounds like you have every right to be proud of your infp.

 

[Ender]

I may fall into most of the more stereotypical INFP traits, at least when it comes to dealing with people/relationships, and I do get along really well with other NF's in most cases, I can't stand the Emo attitude, and if I catch myself falling into any type of slump like that I do what I can too pull myself out of it. I may bitch about things in my life, but it's more just venting frustration.

Then again, a few people seem to question whether I'm INFP, or ISTP, since my hobbies and interests are more ISTP then INFP. I don't really relate well to ISTP's tho, I tend to find them somewhat stuck up or cold.

 

[heart]

Going back to the topic question. In general, INFPs are much more passive and floaty than INFJs. INFJs get things done. INFPs sit around daydreaming about getting things done.

Answer directed at Shadow and TK both: I get the things done that matter. I see no need to waste my time and everyone else's with the nervous busy work that J types enjoy so much and the nervous Fe chatter the Fe dom engage in, nitpicking the fabric of life apart until it can no longer hold its form, refusing to face their own inner toxic messes and projecting their misery onto the people around them. Frankly I would rather be seen as "emo" and "narcisstic" than to go around punishing others for my own pains because I could not stand to face my own disappointments and shortcomings. To each their own however.

 

[sciski]

I can't stand the Emo attitude, and if I catch myself falling into any type of slump like that I do what I can too pull myself out of it. I may bitch about things in my life, but it's more just venting frustration.

Yeah, we're pretty self-aware on the emo front. I's are pretty good at pulling themselves out of a slump.

It really does look like Fi/Fe is the huge, major, gaping difference between xNFJs and xNFPs. I disagree with TK about INFPs being black holes - I think the black hole is between Fi and Fe, not carried by either party. Anything you try to throw across to the other side gets sucked in. I'm sure there's a beautiful metaphor we can expand upon about how you can build a logical bridge to communicate over the force of the black hole. Actually it's not so much a black hole as it is a tornado that sucks everything in, then spits everything out in a messed up form so that the message the other person gets is entirely misunderstood!

Or possibly, Fi is a black hole, Fe is a tornado.. or you can take a metaphor too far..

 

[zarc]

I may fall into most of the more stereotypical INFP traits, at least when it comes to dealing with people/relationships, and I do get along really well with other NF's in most cases, I can't stand the Emo attitude, and if I catch myself falling into any type of slump like that I do what I can too pull myself out of it. I may bitch about things in my life, but it's more just venting frustration.

Then again, a few people seem to question whether I'm INFP, or ISTP, since my hobbies and interests are more ISTP then INFP. I don't really relate well to ISTP's tho, I tend to find them somewhat stuck up or cold.

Hey, ISTPs are more openly affectionate and child-like and easy going than an INFP from what I've been learning. My ISTP best friend can be stuck up, sure, but she is open, easy going and excitin to be around. Mistaken for being an extrovert. Your hobbies ARE very different than an INFP. And more dare-devilish. INFP Fi is concentrated on their feelings and it's hard to disengage (not to make them sound brooding---) as it's their 1st Cognitive Process. I'd think it'd be harder for them to disconnect from their emotions easily. The metaphor TK made is POWERFUL and it really makes me agree with it. And then sciski's tornado with Fe is POWERFUL too. But to carry the black hole further, an Fe will suck it IN and spit it OUT whereas Fi sucks IN and keeps it IN.

It's just that both sucking Dom Fi and sucking/spitting out Fe will depend on the person's maturity with dealing on both fronts. But you still prefer one or the other.

An ISTP reacts to emotions as they come, which can make them seem superifical at times but they just "finish it" and move on (unless it's a deeper feeling, w/e that may be). I really believe you to be an ISTP.

But you already know that

 

[zarc]

Answer directed at Shadow and TK both: I get the things done that matter. I see no need to waste my time and everyone else's with the nervous busy work that J types enjoy so much and the nervous Fe chatter the Fe dom engage in, nitpicking the fabric of life apart until it can no longer hold its form, refusing to face their own inner toxic messes and projecting their misery onto the people around them. Frankly I would rather be seen as "emo" and "narcisstic" than to go around punishing others for my own pains because I could not stand to face my own disappointments and shortcomings. To each their own however.

Thank you! INFPs CAN get things done (aware INFJs can do it too! ), they just won't extert Fe to check on everyone! I don't know about the nervous busy work about Js though. I like it quiet and focused and away from people (when not directly involving them). There's a HUGE misconception that Ps are not doers and J's are or more organized. Or on the Communication Styles. INFPs do Informing while INFJs do Directing. An ISTP seems like the stereotypical "J" (I hate reading J or P or F or T singlyto describe Types!!!!). They are Directing with communication! It's something I'd like to see made more aware of in general for people.

An INFP can go around punishing other's by not 'sharing' ("I'm not telling you.") just as an INFJ can go around punishing other's because they feel that person is not 'sharing' ("What's wrong? Tell me if you want.") or 'sharing appropriately' lolol

Refusing to face the inner toxic mess really applies to INFJ Fe but I don't know about projecting their missery onto people. I try my best to HIDE it from others and I'm sure INFJs will agree. Under extreme stress is another story, we then project and feel "disconnected" and "Not myself". Later, when better and crashing, get saddened that we did that. It's helped me to grow from such experiences though and not take the blame for other's problems or stop taking the blame. Or feeling guitly for my being rejected when someone wrongfully turns on me "for not taking their side" or whatnot. I don't like taking sides in such a way, I'd rather people see the misunderstandings b/w them! OR if I do, I base it on fairness not on partial means. If my best friend is wrong in hurting someone's feelings, I'm quick to tell her that. She may not care but I feel I'm helping both her (to realise) and the person she's hurt (by protecting their feelings).

And the emo/narcisstic crap about INFPs can apply to INFJs too (when they 'fracture' under stress). Or ANY type when they have problems lol It's just how we display it that's different or during different times of stress points. People upon seeing me only sometimes accuse me of being "sad" or "forlorn" when I'm deeply thinking or worrying about someone or a project or anything. Sometimes I look happy or excited but during more 'happier' topics. I've read INFJs have been frequently accused of this.

I think any INFJ or INFP can evolve, depending on rearing, circumstances + epiphanies

 

[Griffi97]

. INFP Fi is concentrated on their feelings and it's hard to disengage (not to make them sound brooding---) as it's their 1st Cognitive Process. I'd think it'd be harder for them to disconnect from their emotions easily. The metaphor TK made is POWERFUL and it really makes me agree with it. And then sciski's tornado with Fe is POWERFUL too. But to carry the black hole further, an Fe will suck it IN and spit it OUT whereas Fi sucks IN and keeps it IN.

It's just that both sucking Dom Fi and sucking/spitting out Fe will depend on the person's maturity with dealing on both fronts. But you still prefer one or the other.

It's sweeping statements like these that make me completely uninterested in learning more about the Cognitive Processes. This is way overinterpreting, IMO.

Hey, ISTPs are more openly affectionate and child-like and easy going than an INFP from what I've been learning.

I'm married to an INFP and my only sister is married to an ISTP. Based on my experience with these two types, this statement is patently untrue.

 

[heart]

I know an ISTP who is an exacting a hole with his wife, everything is her fault and his life would be paradise if only she would do x, y, z and on and on.

 

[theshadow]

Heart. I am very interested in what you have to say. below are questions I have for you regarding your last response. I would like to warn you though that they may feel like nitpicking so its entirely up to you if you should precede. "I might advise against it.".

Answer directed at Shadow and TK both: I get the things done that matter. I see no need to waste my time and everyone else's with the nervous busy work that J types enjoy so much and the nervous Fe chatter the Fe dom engage in, nitpicking the fabric of life apart until it can no longer hold its form, refusing to face their own inner toxic messes and projecting their misery onto the people around them. Frankly I would rather be seen as "emo" and "narcisstic" than to go around punishing others for my own pains because I could not stand to face my own disappointments and shortcomings. To each their own however.

first of all heart. I feel the intensity in what your saying. im not sure I really appreciate being subject to claims I did not make. but since you did I will go ahead and respond. "I never said that infp's did not get things done, in fact I said what they did was "well felt out" meaning they did what they needed to".

I am very curious know. what do you mean "nervous chatter"? I understand what the intended tone is. what is "nervous chatter"? Fe in a way is very similar to Te and its tendancy to make decisions, the that the chatter your talking about? or do you mean literally that their communications is nervous chatter? perhaps your suggesting a lack of awareness? or maybe simply different values as what should and should not be said?

Frankly I would rather be seen as "emo" and "narcisstic" than to go around punishing others for my own pains because I could not stand to face my own disappointments and shortcomings.

whos shortcomings? were you refering to me and tk? "if you were thats completely ok but I would like to know"

To each their own however.

this is somthing I do have a really hard time understanding. clearly you are very passionate about what you wrote. this last qualifyr automatically made me go "huh she doesnt believe it?" yet you are still not sure if you are correct? from my general perspective if something does not apply to others "or in any real way" in what way is it true? I am learning "thx to discussions such as these" how to understand different models of truth .

I certainly, and in no way, am I trying to punish others. I am interested in understanding them though. how besides asking questions about my differences with someone else can I find the answers to these questions?

 

[heart]

You gave general observations about NFPs, I gave some I have about NFJ. Nothing more than that.

The part about INFP not getting as much done was in relation to what TK said.

I am no more emotional about what I said than you were.

 

[theshadow]

You gave general observations about NFPs, I gave some I have about NFJ. Nothing more than that.

The part about INFP not getting as much done was in relation to what TK said.

I am no more emotional about what I said than you were.

ok heart