Quiet
New member
- Joined
- Mar 1, 2010
- Messages
- 282
- MBTI Type
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 5
I'm not sure how to convey what I'm thinking or feeling, so I've decided to share my situation:
I've been in a relationship with an ISTP for 3 years. Like in any relationship, there's been both good and bad times. The one (I'll use the word "chronic") thing that seems to get in the way is his lack of Fe and sensitivity. He is aware he lacks natural skill in this area and often tries very hard to understand. However, it's getting tiresome having to explain the "basics" to him, and what I mean by basics, is "caring" responses and communication that all successful relationships posess. Even more frustrating for me, is when this concept turns into a debate!
Today I have decided to open up about this issue here and ask if anyone else first of all understands this, and second of all, is it me? Am I in fact incorrect in this concern, or is it an INFJ "expectation" thing that we tend to have that equate to judgements? What generally happens for me, is I will experience hurt and confused feelings after a particular interraction due my ability to see how it is for him. Also because I sense he is so far removed from the situation on an emotional level, that I may as well be trying to explain it to a wall.
Sigh, sorry to complain, I'm just really needing some clarification right now. On a more positive note, we do have a very close bond in many ways, and we always are learning from eachother. I do observe how my being future orrientated and his being present orrientated can make for some thought provoking contemplations. With him, my life is never dull, lol and it's likely due to our opposite function usage.
This feels wierd for me to post as I've opened up more than I'd normally feel comfortable with. Thanks in advance.
I've been in a relationship with an ISTP for 3 years. Like in any relationship, there's been both good and bad times. The one (I'll use the word "chronic") thing that seems to get in the way is his lack of Fe and sensitivity. He is aware he lacks natural skill in this area and often tries very hard to understand. However, it's getting tiresome having to explain the "basics" to him, and what I mean by basics, is "caring" responses and communication that all successful relationships posess. Even more frustrating for me, is when this concept turns into a debate!
Today I have decided to open up about this issue here and ask if anyone else first of all understands this, and second of all, is it me? Am I in fact incorrect in this concern, or is it an INFJ "expectation" thing that we tend to have that equate to judgements? What generally happens for me, is I will experience hurt and confused feelings after a particular interraction due my ability to see how it is for him. Also because I sense he is so far removed from the situation on an emotional level, that I may as well be trying to explain it to a wall.
Sigh, sorry to complain, I'm just really needing some clarification right now. On a more positive note, we do have a very close bond in many ways, and we always are learning from eachother. I do observe how my being future orrientated and his being present orrientated can make for some thought provoking contemplations. With him, my life is never dull, lol and it's likely due to our opposite function usage.
This feels wierd for me to post as I've opened up more than I'd normally feel comfortable with. Thanks in advance.