[ENFP] How do I differentiate between an ENFJ and an ENFP?

[Charmed Justice]

Lightyear, I think the "pidgeon-holing" has to do with someone with really strong Fe without much Ni to balance it out or the ENFJ might have considered the possibilities privately in his head and passed the judgement but comes off judgmental because the other person has not seen his internal thought process. Many ENFJs seem to go about analyzing people the exact same way you do. I would argue that most ENFJs aren't really that black and white. I don't think ENFJs are really that much different than INFJs in this regard.

I wholeheartedly agree with this.

The key thing is is the person deliberate or do they do things spontaneously?. ENFJs seem to have a vibe of always being on some sort of mission while ENFPs are just like "whatever, I will just do whatever that strikes my fancy".

True.

The ENFP is more open to going with the flow of things. They're also perhaps a bit more wholistic in their approach. The idea of letting the chips falls as they may gives me the chills. I've usually felt drawn towards some specific purpose or destination, as laid back as people typically consider me to be. Unlike my SJ friends though, I tend to not get too upset when my plans go awry, or when things turn out differently than I originally believed. So while I seek and follow a definitive direction, I'm not easily disturbed when things don't go as imagined. I attribute that to not seeing things in black and white. There's always another perspective; another direction to turn and path to follow.

haha, I'm like this. I don't get things done unless I think it's of the utmost importance or I promised someone. The emotional hiding could also be Fe with strong Ni. ENFJs can appear happy but many of them have hidden depth that they don't expose to others just like INFJs...an hidden dark side. For being extroverts, ENFJs can be insanely private. Outside of immediate family and close friends, my teacher knows more about my private life than most (he asked me about it). This isn't because I am close to him at all but I just don't really talk about personal things unless someone asks. Also the Se you could be seeing is his tertiary Se if he's ENFJ.

+1 To this too.

ENFJs are interesting with this. Personally, i'll tell anyone anything, but i won't attach the emotions i am feeling in that moment. I can say to someone "I am at the lowest point i've ever been and these are the reasons why...", yet i won't be reacting to the statement obviously.
We can compartmentalize that if we are trying to place a situation before ourselves or don't feel comfortable. I'm not sure about how other ENFJs manage this and i'm sure some don't do either.

Same here. I will share information about myself in order to connect with others or open things up a bit, but I do tend to step back emotionally. I've heard lots of NFs say they do that, which is interesting. I don't like the idea of weighing others down with negative feelings I may have, and so most people for whom I've taken some sort of "responsibility" for(including many friends and family) are unaware of strong negative feelings I have. When I show negative emotions on the fly, it's very unpretty. I consider who might be emotionally prepared to handle my emotions before I begin unleashing myself. I also tend to offer personal information after requested, but don't get me started .

Also, I rarely, if ever, give unsolicited advice(a common EJs association); but once asked, I'm known to tell it exactly how I see it, and tend to be so straight forward that many of my friends believed me to be an ENTJ.

 

[Esoteric Wench]

Im always on time. Being late is a pet peeve of mine.

You are the only ENFP, I've ever heard say this... which is perhaps why I guffawed when I read it. Good for you.

This ENFP is the embodiment of the stereotype. No matter how hard I try, I still always manage to be late. Drives my J friends insane.

 

[Malkavia]

Its weird I know.

I thinks it odd because I know I am ENFP, the functions fit me very well, but most of the stereotypes do not...

 

[Domino]

I'm late to the party, but far be it from me to not oblige a lady's polite request. *smooch*

I suppose I've always taken the differences between me and LadyJaye for granted. I have heard since time immemorial how people "tell" us apart. I have heard that Jaye is more generally upbeat and easy-going and playful like a puppy. Our grandmother said, "I know I have Jaye on the phone because it's 'Hi ya, Grammie!' and when it's Domino, it's 'Hello, Grandmother...'." (Heeeeeey! I'm definitely a 'Hi, Gramma' person!)

At any rate, she's remarking on the friendly, open, liveliness of my sister. She has a very confessional nature (which pains me to the point of cringing because my need to protect myself - and her - is just as strong), seems to be able to roll with certain things that I absolutely would not/could not (again with the balling up while calling her crazy), and is a big picture/possibilities person (while I tend to dwell in the details and take on tedious work to keep her from going insane). She's very physical and huggy ( ) while I've always been very reserved and held myself back from such displays unless I know you well. Even then it's NOT the same thing as what Jaye does. I can't explain why. She tends to make me more extroverted in the physical realm. Without her around, I'd probably still be changing my clothes inside the closet.

Apparently, at the times when we looked most alike, a male friend of ours commented tartly: "The confusion ends when they open their mouths." He meant "Oh no, I've gotten Domino." LOL There was a guy who jokingly said he'd sneak to our house in the middle of the night to abduct Jaye - "And knowin' my luck I'd pull the wrong one out the winduh and die." (Not to say that Jaye doesn't have Little Stone Fists of Fury because she's WAAAAAY scarier than me when she's finally really angry...)

She and I were discussing, of all things, the book Ulysses. The very idea of it makes her insane while I'm weirdly drawn to the removal of meaning and re-appropriation of words by sound. It's gives her Ne a brain cramp while appealing to my ferreting Ni. She's also a really good editor in most things - she can look over my drawings or writing and zero in on what's good and what needs work. Her sensibilities are Japanese and pared down to the pristine elements of what makes a certain thing important while mine tend to be Baroque and steampunk. It's Versace versus Betsey Johnson (although we do experience quite a bit of overlap in places and LOVE how our styles seem to mesh effortlessly - we can borrow each others' clothes and make them look 'Jaye' or 'Domino' without changing them.)

We both seem to react to baseline things in a similar manner - like wanting to comfort crying strangers, sending flowers to sick friends, making presents for those we love, feeling dismal after watching the news full of pedophiles/murderers/domestic homicides/etc. We like to use positive reinforcement with our loved ones so they know we're with them.

How to make that into quantitative sign posts...

In my opinion, it's best to zero in on Fe vs. Fi. I find I have a sixth sense about Ne vs. Ni, but that can be a much harder thing to isolate due to it's freakishly intangible nature. To me, Fi is just a TOTALLY different animal from Fe. I find it difficult to explain to others, but I 'feel' the cooler, more circumspect, almost flinty nature of Fi at work. Fe feels hot, atmospherically 'invasive', and social. Those definitions don't work by half.

Phooey.

 

[stalemate]

You are the only ENFP, I've ever heard say this... which is perhaps why I guffawed when I read it. Good for you.

This ENFP is the embodiment of the stereotype. No matter how hard I try, I still always manage to be late. Drives my J friends insane.

I hate being late and it is a pet peeve of mine too, but still I am late all the time.

Anymore I just don't commit to when I am going to be somewhere. If someone asks me when I say that I don't know. I get to work any time between 7:45 and 8:45.

The official start of the work day is generally 8:00 at my company.

 

[stalemate]

The description in the OP sounds almost exactly like me and I'm pretty certain that I am ENFP.

The only difference from what you described is really just about the calmness. I am genuinely calm most of the time and not hiding anything. To the point that people think I don't care about the crisis. Sometimes I am hiding some inner stress but usually I am just not rattled.

The body language thing seems to match me too. Women tell me I'm an excellent hugger. I'm not even sure what that means but I've been told many times.

Your friend sounds a lot like me.

 

[Malkavia]

I refuse to believe Im the only ENFP who knows how to be on time.

 

[Domino]

I refuse to believe Im the only ENFP who knows how to be on time.

Looks like you're in a lonely place, Mal.

 

[stalemate]

I refuse to believe Im the only ENFP who knows how to be on time.

I know how... leave earlier... it is the execution that trips me up.

 

[Lady_X]

it's the worst. it is such an instinct to do everything at the very last minute...it's like a sickness...i can go in 30 min...okay...shit i only have 5 left...it'll be alright...just going to do this first...and that...shit okay really going now! wth is the problem...seriously!

 

[stalemate]

it's the worst. it is such an instinct to do everything at the very last minute...it's like a sickness...i can go in 30 min...okay...shit i only have 5 left...it'll be alright...just going to do this first...and that...shit okay really going now! wth is the problem...seriously!

Yes, exactly. Every damn morning.

My father in law stayed with us last night because he had a 10 am appointment here and he lives out of town. I am supposed to be at work at 8ish. He left before I did.

 

[Lady_X]

yeah it's pretty awful my old boss used to put open-6 or whatever on the schedule which meant to get there at 8:45 to open at 9 and after awhile just next to my name she would put 8:30

 

[garbage]

I refuse to believe Im the only ENFP who knows how to be on time.

I got your back


I dunno. I hate being stressed out, so I just try to pace myself when I can, think ahead, and plan accordingly.

I also hate keeping other people waiting.

 

[stalemate]

I also hate keeping other people waiting.

This is exactly why I hate being late but it doesn't really help me to be on time.

 

[Emectar]

As an ENFP myself, reading that brief description really called out to me. he sounds just like me, and in a way that Enfj's dont often have. I think your friend is a certified ENFP