[ENFJ] Hate an ENFJ? Tell us why!

[Domino]

I'll load the potato cannon for you, Thes.

 

[Poki]

I'll load the potato cannon for you, Thes.

 

[Thessaly]

I'll load the potato cannon for you, Thes.

*sighs*

 

[BlueFlame]

And you want to know what I would have done?

Walked back down to my car, pulled his wallet out of the glovebox, handed it to him, and then unlocked all my cardoors and walked back upstairs without blinking an eye. Needless to say, I don't like to be manipulated; I will outsmart you. If I were feeling charitable that night, I might explain that to him and also that I'm not a child, but I think my actions would probably speak louder. ENFJ males just love when you're fiesty.

Really? I wouldn't have given him the wallet at all. I would've unlocked the doors, placed his wallet in plain sight on the passenger seat, and walked back upstairs to inform him.
If I didn't have a conscience, I wouldn't inform him at all! Damn cricket.
But I'm an evil ENFJ

 

[Koocoomoo]

ick

What I hate about ENFJs (from an INFPs P.O.V.)

Their front is annoying as FUH!!
They might be frighteningly insecure, or psychotic, but they put on this mask because they're so desperate for people to think they are "cool" so they sit laid-back in the back of the room trying to look like they don't care. So. Fucking. Gay!

AND they have the quality that can make an INFP kill themselves--
They're really comforting in the beginning, easy to talk to. The INFP trusts them, tells them deep secrets, shows vulnerabilities.
The relationship ends badly, and if they are an incredibly angry ENFJ (not hard to find), they just KNOW how to pull a person apart ruthlessly from the inner core, and they're not afraid to do so.

what i hate about ENFJs

I am speaking from observations - this is WHY I have avoided relationships with ENFJs.

Disclaimers: I don't hate ENFJs. I think they're fascinating, but this is WHAT I hate about them.

 

[Unkindloving]

AND they have the quality that can make an INFP kill themselves--
They're really comforting in the beginning, easy to talk to. The INFP trusts them, tells them deep secrets, shows vulnerabilities.
The relationship ends badly, and if they are an incredibly angry ENFJ (not hard to find), they just KNOW how to pull a person apart ruthlessly from the inner core, and they're not afraid to do so.

Guilty as charged.
I would like to say that ENFJs have to be deeply provoked before they do this to someone who has already shared so much with them. It doesn't make it right, but it would usually mean that someone has wounded (or tried to wound) our maximum security core.
We get all sorts of prickly then. :blushing:

 

[TopherRed]

Takes maturity.

 

[Unkindloving]

Takes maturity.

The hell is ma.. matuur.. maturity? Pff. I've never heard of that before!

 

[BlueFlame]

They might be frighteningly insecure, or psychotic, but they put on this mask because they're so desperate for people to think they are "cool" so they sit laid-back in the back of the room trying to look like they don't care. So. Fucking. Gay!

Yeah, I don't need to put on a front to seem cool.
I just am.
The front just helps mask my coolness because people tend to implode when I expose them to all of it once. It's an act of love, really.

AND they have the quality that can make an INFP kill themselves--
They're really comforting in the beginning, easy to talk to. The INFP trusts them, tells them deep secrets, shows vulnerabilities.
The relationship ends badly, and if they are an incredibly angry ENFJ (not hard to find), they just KNOW how to pull a person apart ruthlessly from the inner core, and they're not afraid to do so.

Yes, I know exactly how to destroy from the inside out, and you're right...I think that's a skill most ENFJs have. I also think that's one of the reasons I tend to try to avoid confrontation - that's something I *hate* about myself. I don't want to lose it and do damage that can't be undone...
But, in all reality, UnKindLoving is right. Some serious boundaries usually have to be crossed to get to that point.

 

[neptunesnet]

Really? I wouldn't have given him the wallet at all. I would've unlocked the doors, placed his wallet in plain sight on the passenger seat, and walked back upstairs to inform him. If I didn't have a conscience, I wouldn't inform him at all!

Precisely why I'm INFP and you're ENFJ.

 

[The Third Rider]

Yes, I know exactly how to destroy from the inside out, and you're right...I think that's a skill most ENFJs have. I also think that's one of the reasons I tend to try to avoid confrontation - that's something I *hate* about myself. I don't want to lose it and do damage that can't be undone...
But, in all reality, UnKindLoving is right. Some serious boundaries usually have to be crossed to get to that point.

I agree, I know can say that I know where it "hurts" or where the wounds and vulnerabilities, BUT I do not like to go there. If these things were told to me is because I am of trust and I will keep them close to me guard them. i don't like conflict and I will completely avoid if at all possible but if you cross a certain boundary then you are definitely asking for it so its not like I just like to bring up "certain" subjects just to make people feel miserable.

 

[Koocoomoo]

And you want to know what I would have done?

ENFJ males just love when you're fiesty.

I don't!!

 

[TopherRed]

Then I guess we'll all just have to ignore you and pretend you're not there for a YEAR. INFPs desire attention, even if it's few and far in between. The need builds up.

 

[Dali]

I've gotten along very well with all the female ENFJs I've known.

Males, on the other hand, I've only ever been able to befriend one. Sorry to be so blunt about this but I can't stand most of them.

 

[TopherRed]

Yeah, most of them irritate me too. They were self-protection Ennea 2w1s. Drove me nukking futz.

 

[Ethelred the Unready]

I'm fairly new to the forum and it sems like all I'm doing is going round and resurrecting old threads I'm thinking of changing my name to Ethelred the Resurrector.

They also can do odd things like insist that there are deep meanings in the lyrics to Metallica songs...They also sometimes do horrible and odd things like listen to the same song or watch the same movie over and over and over

This made me laugh out loud...thanks for making my day, whatever ...but, you know, there are deep meanings in the lyrics to Metallica songs

As for this bit: 'listen to the same song or watch the same movie over and over and over' - guilty as charged

Now I'm ready for that firing squad...no, no, I don't need a blindfold...I'll go down with my colours flying...

And maybe the bullets will bounce away from my 'ENFJ's charm'?

 

[poppy]

Well, my ENFJ friend has a cat that just had kittens. So I kind of hate her.

I want kittens.

 

[Elfboy]

disclaimer: the following applies to the ENFJs I've met. given 1) I don't like any of the ENFJs I know (in fact, I just punched on in the face recently for many of the reasons listened below)
and 2) I don't know a ton of ENFJs, this posts is going to be very biased. if I am terribly off in my generalizations, feel free to let me know.
anyway, things I hate about enfjs are:
1) getting really emotional about everything
2) expecting you to feel a certain way
3) not giving person space
4) coming to conclusions before you're finished talking
5) being terrible with logic
6) being extremely judgmental
7) having all these expectations on how you "should" be or feel
8) assuming you're a selfish prick if you care about your own benefit at all
9) taking EVERYTHING personally
10) thinking extremely collectivistically and being offended if you don't
11) trying to malipulate you with flattery
12) not liking you unless you are another FJ
13) not liking you if you are enneagram 5 or 8 (and usually not 7 either)
14) constantly focused on other people
15) if you disagree with them, they take it as an insult or an offense unless you deliberately say it isn't, and even then they usually do
16) invading your personal space
17) oh I almost forgot. the guilt trip

 

[Domino]

Well, Elfboy, sometimes people need punching. Especially the irritating ones.

 

[Kasper]

17) taste like cherries.

It's true, they do.