[NT] any nt's here NOT drawn to nf's for friendships and/or romance?

[Jaguar]

You're an ignorant douchebag asshole.

Shut up you arrogant bastard. Next time you speak to me, show some respect!

Did you two get married?

 

[hermeticdancer]

F* a** hole ( dont know how many stars I can use) ENTJ and I aren't compatible for a "relationship" I guess... pish. I am sorry but I have to vent. Here is a perfect example...

I had a conversation the other day about it with him about our status. We are in the grey area, and casual for a month. I asked if he wanted to be open and date other people, (trick question cause no way would I go for that) and if he was still looking at other people's profiles online (we met online) He said he was looking, a bit... but not seeing anyone. We of course are shagging.

K so get this, he says he likes me and doesn't want it to end, and wants to see me while he is looking for his "soulmate" but he doesn't want to settle because he did that with his wife, whom he left apperantly... because she was domineering? and his previous girl friend, who is in her mid 20's he was in love with left him for art school, god I just found out he has a vasectomy, and also wants a women/child who doesn't want kids... I told him to go for his lolita, aim for the kids group 22-26 that might meet his man child needs, and told him good luck and good night. He said he didn't like sarcasm, and said I sounded spiteful, I said I getting to be that age,,, I guess 29 is getting up there...

What a prick huh? Want I want a soulmate... ohh please, you just want a younger shorter/tiny chick (I'm 5'7, and busty-men love that! he's 5'9 and has narrow shoulders and a small/med build) to think you have that awe... go f your self!

sorry guys had to get the hate off my chest... feel a tiny bit better now, I just feel like a phony for being with him, and being nice to him and stroking him up like that, the guy needs to be cut off at the knees, already, saying women loose their innocence as they get older. I have heard that from ENTJs before, its so freakin sexiest. I want to kick their a@@. Are all ENTJ's Pedophiles or is it just him? (jk)

 

[kiddykat]

Sorry to butt in.. HermeticDancer,

Woman- you DESERVE an awesome guy.. ok- this one? total waste of time.

He kinda sounds full of himself. I want to find a 'soulmate' but I don't want to give us up? He wants to have his cake and eat it too? Player. (The whole ex-wife bit/ex-gf deal? I don't buy that either).

I have a 2 strikes you're out policy.. sometimes I can be way more lenient if I'm attracted to the guy.

I find that the more energy I spend on guys who hurt me, the more life it takes away from me. I like guys who bring out the best in me, vice versa- someone confident who can *actually* reciprocate genuine feelings. A relationship like that is far more exhilarating than one's that keep me down.

Kick him to the side of the curb!

 

[hermeticdancer]

Thanks Kitty kat, so right.
You get it.
He was actually really attractive, aside from being on the short side for me.
But he was full of himself. A designer, a wine snob, making jokes at my expense, asked me to help him pick up his volvo on our last date... what t F?
Am I an assistant? I give a good massage, too. He was like... what nice service, who says that after a massage? Thinking out loud a bit much? I guess I was blinded by his good looks, or my own insecurities. I could be more independent right now... I don't need his dumb ass, to tease me, and argue with me about random things, and he kinda sucked in bed, I trying to show him how to please me, right, and he freaked, saying that he didn't want to be told...
Trust me, Im not dominatrix, im pretty gentle, he couldn't get past that, because felt like he would be second guessing himself, If I gave him detailed instruction on the amazing female anatomy...
Inglorious Bastard!
Useless... I say. And what man rubs you from the back from the front, you can really get a UTI that way... eww, its better its over... Sorrry. TMI guys...

love you kitty kat!

I just feel sorry for the next victim, and a little bit stupid at myself, what is going to prevent me from doing something stupid like this again? The thing that hurts is that he blatantly said, that he doesnt see himself spending the rest of his life with me, and i asked, what about a relationship? and he said... what do you think we are talking about here, with a lot of snark. It's like he's so testy and mean. Who talks like that, can't he rephrase that so that it's not so sharp and biting and harsh, like a lucky strike and whisky. Makes me feel like someone is force feeding me liquid baby food. Slimey and resented.

 

[digesthisickness]

sorry you went through that hermetic. let us be glad that 1. he was at least stupid enough to be himself so you found out earlier and 2. you found out now rather than later.

dumping him sounds like a very wise move. hope you don't base all of us NTs on this one guy.

 

[Biaxident]

Thanks Kitty kat, so right.
You get it.
He was actually really attractive, aside from being on the short side for me.
But he was full of himself. A designer, a wine snob, making jokes at my expense, asked me to help him pick up his volvo on our last date... what t F?
Am I an assistant? I give a good massage, too. He was like... what nice service, who says that after a massage? Thinking out loud a bit much? I guess I was blinded by his good looks, or my own insecurities. I could be more independent right now... I don't need his dumb ass, to tease me, and argue with me about random things, and he kinda sucked in bed, I trying to show him how to please me, right, and he freaked, saying that he didn't want to be told...
Trust me, Im not dominatrix, im pretty gentle, he couldn't get past that, because felt like he would be second guessing himself, If I gave him detailed instruction on the amazing female anatomy...

Maybe I missed it, how old is this guy?

It sounds like he would irritate most people.

 

[JoSunshine]

Thanks Kitty kat, so right.
You get it.
He was actually really attractive, aside from being on the short side for me.
But he was full of himself. A designer, a wine snob, making jokes at my expense, asked me to help him pick up his volvo on our last date... what t F?
Am I an assistant? I give a good massage, too. He was like... what nice service, who says that after a massage? Thinking out loud a bit much? I guess I was blinded by his good looks, or my own insecurities. I could be more independent right now... I don't need his dumb ass, to tease me, and argue with me about random things, and he kinda sucked in bed, I trying to show him how to please me, right, and he freaked, saying that he didn't want to be told...
Trust me, Im not dominatrix, im pretty gentle, he couldn't get past that, because felt like he would be second guessing himself, If I gave him detailed instruction on the amazing female anatomy...
Inglorious Bastard!
Useless... I say. And what man rubs you from the back from the front, you can really get a UTI that way... eww, its better its over... Sorrry. TMI guys...

love you kitty kat!

I just feel sorry for the next victim, and a little bit stupid at myself, what is going to prevent me from doing something stupid like this again? The thing that hurts is that he blatantly said, that he doesnt see himself spending the rest of his life with me, and i asked, what about a relationship? and he said... what do you think we are talking about here, with a lot of snark. It's like he's so testy and mean. Who talks like that, can't he rephrase that so that it's not so sharp and biting and harsh, like a lucky strike and whisky. Makes me feel like someone is force feeding me liquid baby food. Slimey and resented.

If i didn't know better I would say you were dating my ex-husband (except he was an INTJ). Run!

 

[Salomé]

^
I'm gonna go ahead and blame NFs for the existence of these douches in the gene pool. Who else is gonna put up with that shit??

 

[heart]

and argue with me about random things, and he kinda sucked in bed, I trying to show him how to please me, right, and he freaked, saying that he didn't want to be told...
Trust me, Im not dominatrix, im pretty gentle, he couldn't get past that, because felt like he would be second guessing himself, If I gave him detailed instruction on the amazing female anatomy...

I dated a guy like this once. I am pretty sure he was ISTJ. The sad thing is, at the age I was then, I fear if he'd been better at sex it would have smoothed over a lot of his other A hole type behavior. Like telling me "When we get married, I won't let you keep a cat" (and no we weren't enaged by then I had no intention of marrying him, he just decided that all on his own) and "Don't lose or gain any weight, ever. Iw want you just like this forever." Or he would try to take food away from me when I wasn't done eating, I was 100 pounds.

After I broke up with him, he was hard to get rid of too, kept hiding in the bushes at my place of work and leaping out in front of me when I came in for a shift, or hiding on the dark side of my car when I got off work. Like trying to doorslam someone and they keep inserting their body into the jam.

Well, everyone should date someone like this once, it will make you appreciate other people more! Make a young woman quickly lose the taste for dating Aholes, you discover that an Ahole bravado is sometimes bone deep. Suddenly "nice" guys look very nice indeed.

I have a friend who is married long-term to someone like this (won't accept education about how to handle the female body) and he's an ENFP.

Some people just can't be educated.

 

[hermeticdancer]

Maybe I missed it, how old is this guy?

It sounds like he would irritate most people.

He's 38, Divorced with 2 kids.

 

[hermeticdancer]

If i didn't know better I would say you were dating my ex-husband (except he was an INTJ). Run!

Maybe we have a similar dynamic... that is scary. You post made me smile... though... Thanks for that



What urks me it that intimacy is based on honesty, right... and I want to show my lover how to please me the correct way, I don't want to pretend or put on a show, or fake it. But this bothers some men, I guess because maybe it makes them feel sexually incompetent, or emasculated... out of control, like they don't get that learning this new thing the way, I like it, will actually make him more powerful, and bring us closer, even though it may be uncomfortable at first.
I get this sense that NTJ despise feeling VULNERABLE in anyway. once you make them feel that, too many times, it's like you are undervalued, resented, and then they dread the sight of seeing your face...

I get that though, I still love and appreciate NT's, not all of them, because some people are jerks, that would be stupid, but because my father is an INTJ, and he is the first man I ever loved. (that sounds kinda creepy, but you guys know what I mean... I love my dad)

 

[Biaxident]

He's 38, Divorced with 2 kids.

Sounds like a narcissistic asshat to me. Glad to hear you have some self respect.

I may be divorced, but they can't say I ever treated them the way he treated you.

 

[sammy]

sorry guys had to get the hate off my chest... feel a tiny bit better now, I just feel like a phony for being with him, and being nice to him and stroking him up like that, the guy needs to be cut off at the knees, already, saying women loose their innocence as they get older. I have heard that from ENTJs before, its so freakin sexiest. I want to kick their a@@. Are all ENTJ's Pedophiles or is it just him? (jk)

Sorry to hear about that guy's behavior toward you. He doesn't sound like a very kind person, perhaps part of the reason he's no longer married. Why was he divorced, anyway?

I actually dated an ENTJ who had a similar opinion of older women. He's now engaged/married to someone older than him, but she is his second-cousin, and he's known her his entire life (so he has confirmation of her innocence).

He's matured up a bit more over the years with his actions, but his views remain the same. His overall preference in women to marry or be in a relationship with was highly dependent on his perception of how "macho" he could be, by comparison.

He didn't come across as hardass as he wanted to be around me, so he got tired of being figured out constantly (I wasn't impressed by the peacock displays and didn't hesitate to challenge his ideas), and things fizzled out naturally. I wasn't soft and accommodating enough for him, and he wasn't tough enough for me. No bad feelings on either end when it was all said and done. But, point being: I can definitely relate to what you're saying.

Keep yer chin up, missy. You did a brave thing by getting out of that mess!

 

[Accept]

Drawn to NFs, yet old enough to know better. Unless they're INFJ.

 

[hermeticdancer]

Sorry to hear about that guy's behavior toward you. He doesn't sound like a very kind person, perhaps part of the reason he's no longer married. Why was he divorced, anyway?

Thanks for the kind words of advice. He told me that he left his marraige after his two children were born because he was feeling unfufilled, and empty was just pretending to be happy with her. He admitted to trying to change his wife, said he got married young, used the phrase, it's hard when you have kids, ya know... Then he said... but then I met a young lady and fell deeply in love, and experienced true love for the first time. I am glad I experienced that, but it ended this several months ago...

me...why did it end

him... she moved away, to go to college, she wanted independence, she was depressed, she had low self esteem, she had an abusive controling father, I tried to help her and do so much for her but I couldnt, it was a painful break up, (yet he says she was a very popular person with lots of friends, and very outgoing, beautiful and smart) Her face book page has over 400 friends and she is smiling and happy, in california? Anyways... not to deny all that.

He sees a therapist, and was telling me about it, and a lot of the stuff sounded really familar, like it was coming out of her mouth, and out of his A@@, like, let me feel what i am feeling... what the F? that is lame... sorry, but you didnt invent that... and It's nobody's falut, all these lame attempts at validation and stuff, were being regurgitated, I was waiting for the bomb to go off inside... It's like don't give me counsel... Im not actually that mad about it anymore... k getting sick of thinking about this... want to hang out with cool people...

Talking about this is kinda making me feel like A@@. want to have fun now.

 

[Oddly Refined]

Drawn to NFs, yet old enough to know better. Unless they're INFJ.

I met a male infj recently. The depth he brings to the table is fascinating (whether for eating or conversation). I don't often hang out with people for seventeen hours, but that experience was surely an exception. Also, the flirting is ridiculous.

 

[Timeless]

I have four good NF friends: ENFP, INFJ, and two INFPs.

I can't think of someone who is an NF and is not my friend.

As for romance, I don't know. I can't type people that fast yet. I can say for sure I'm attracted by xxFx's.

 

[Shimmy]

I like most people for their different personalities.

 

[brainheart]

Married to an SFP, all my closest friends are NFs. I feel the deepest connections with INFPs. We have great relationships where our strengths really benefit each other. But the SFP is great because we have loads of fun together, he gets me acting vs talking, and he keeps me aware of the real world, in the good ways.

 

[copperfish17]

But... but... NF's are SQUISHY!

I kid, I kid.

I just happen to LOVE the 2 confirmed NFJ's that I know IRL.

NFP's can be either super awesome, or super disastrous. Most of them are quite enjoyable though (provided that they aren't TOO sensitive).