Excuse me Mr. but I have tons of umph!
I actually really like the automatic guilt reflex you guys have. I can wield such power with it until y'all catch on haha
I rememember the day this hit me like a ton of bricks. I realized I had a "No, no, I'm fine. I can take care of myself and I can take care of everyone else too and I don't need anything." Not in a mytr kind of way either. I never complained until I was crushed under the pressure of trying to be everything to everyone and not accepting anything in return - even when people tried to be there for me. I had to have absolute 100% trust in anyone to ask for even the simplest things - becuase I viewed needing help (in anyway) as a personal failure and a burden to others. It sucked.
I moved this past weekend and accepted help in any way from anyone who offered and asked for help from close friends and family. I ended up with a small army of people helping me in various ways. AND I DIDN'T FEEL GUILTY OR LIKE A BURDEN!!!! That's a HUGE deal for me. I would happily help any of these people move (and have helped a lot of them). I am learning to accept help with grace and to express my feelings, needs and weaknesses. It is a really, really good feeling and despite all of my previous (and sometimes still current) fears, it has actually made my relationships a lot stronger.
Wonka does this to me a lot, though I think he actually means it.
Fi balances Fe. You remind me that being interpersonally fake isn't okay, whether it be coming from me, or something I'm a part of. Respect for the individual is imperitive to you...so I incorporate it into my way of doing thingswhen I work with groups. It's almost like some kind of moral code that I've been lacking...though I never knew these things to be wrong before.
I rememember the day this hit me like a ton of bricks. I realized I had a "No, no, I'm fine. I can take care of myself and I can take care of everyone else too and I don't need anything." Not in a mytr kind of way either. I never complained until I was crushed under the pressure of trying to be everything to everyone and not accepting anything in return - even when people tried to be there for me. I had to have absolute 100% trust in anyone to ask for even the simplest things - becuase I viewed needing help (in anyway) as a personal failure and a burden to others. It sucked.
I moved this past weekend and accepted help in any way from anyone who offered and asked for help from close friends and family. I ended up with a small army of people helping me in various ways. AND I DIDN'T FEEL GUILTY OR LIKE A BURDEN!!!! That's a HUGE deal for me. I would happily help any of these people move (and have helped a lot of them). I am learning to accept help with grace and to express my feelings, needs and weaknesses. It is a really, really good feeling and despite all of my previous (and sometimes still current) fears, it has actually made my relationships a lot stronger.
Stop the presses!!!
An ENFJ who thinks that fakeness is not a virtue? Haven't you read the Holy Bible of ENFJ? Commandment number 1 is Thou shall not be candid with others. You wouldn't want to go against your own type would you? It's best you keep telling your mom her fried, curry liver tastes grrrrrrrrrrrrreat!
Thanks man, and let me tell you, this dude will totally take a bullet for you if you care enough to dig out his soul under all those layers.
I rememember the day this hit me like a ton of bricks. I realized I had a "No, no, I'm fine. I can take care of myself and I can take care of everyone else too and I don't need anything." Not in a mytr kind of way either. I never complained until I was crushed under the pressure of trying to be everything to everyone and not accepting anything in return - even when people tried to be there for me. I had to have absolute 100% trust in anyone to ask for even the simplest things - becuase I viewed needing help (in anyway) as a personal failure and a burden to others. It sucked.
I moved this past weekend and accepted help in any way from anyone who offered and asked for help from close friends and family. I ended up with a small army of people helping me in various ways. AND I DIDN'T FEEL GUILTY OR LIKE A BURDEN!!!! That's a HUGE deal for me. I would happily help any of these people move (and have helped a lot of them). I am learning to accept help with grace and to express my feelings, needs and weaknesses. It is a really, really good feeling and despite all of my previous (and sometimes still current) fears, it has actually made my relationships a lot stronger.
Mmm...it's funny, Fi's don't deal with the guilt as much as we do. I think they understand the boundaries better than us. Then again, they don't have as much umph either.
Stop the presses!!!
An ENFJ who thinks that fakeness is not a virtue? Haven't you read the Holy Bible of ENFJ? Commandment number 1 is Thou shall not be candid with others. You wouldn't want to go against your own type would you? It's best you keep telling your mom her fried, curry liver tastes grrrrrrrrrrrrreat!
An ENFJ who thinks fakeness IS a virtue would be 100% going against type!
We just have a knack for knowing how much candor is needed/acceptable for a certain situation to attain whatever goal we have in mind. There is no freaking way I would pretend to like ANY kind of liver, or I would get stuck eating it AGAIN! Mission not accomplished. Telling my mom she sucks at cooking and life in general would keep me from getting fed by her at all...mission not accomplished.
A nice *thank you for the effort but I cannot flipping stand liver in general...*
Now that'll do the trick.
How's the ENFJ heartbreak-recovery coming?
This will depend on whether she's running Fe in her higher functions, or not. Immature Fe's require flattery to get along with them--with my mom (ISFJ), it makes her quietly cry if I don't say I like her cooking a few times in a row.
My grandma (ESFJ), just gets pissy.
Is that manipulative of them? Yes. And they know the answer is empty...but said often enough of bad cooking, it will "convince" them, and save me a lot of stress.
Honesty is not always the best policy!! But honesty as much as possible is.
You're a sucker. And it's adorable. Lookit you being all nicey nice and stuff.
I approach the situation in the way that BlueFlame mentioned. I prefer being blunt, even if i have to soften it up a bit. Otherwise it can spiral out into getting walked all over and boo to that! Doormat tendencies need to be moderated
Your friend sounds beautiful, Z. I'll say a prayer for him and his wife.
Oh, hun, I'm no doormat. The two of them are like that all the time...I'll have all out screaming matches with g'ma at 2 in the AM over whatever assenine thing she came up with to try to blame on me this time.
I pick my battles! Something you gotta do when you live with them. I've made my mom cry a few times since I left the house...why? Cause I don't live with her, and she was asking for it. I'm proud of those moments, and I've got a whole childhood to make up for.
I didn't mean to make it sound so grimm. Oops.