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  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2014

    Default SomethingSomethingSomethingJ? Unsure of my type, appreciate any help!

    Hi all,

    it would be great to get another opinion for my type. I am just way too un-objective and conflicted typing myself, and getting more confused (specially after learning about functions...). Test results give me INFJ, but I am not quite sure about that. First everything made sense "a-ha, so that's what it is", but pondering my type further and reading stuff from the interwebs made me more confused. I have a hard time relating to INFJ-communities. I just don't find myself as spiritual and emotional as these communities general vibe seems to me. I don't do art, my favorite music is basically nature sounds ("60 minutes of rain", great song!), and please, let's just not discuss about dreams, all right ? I guess what I am trying to say is that chatting about and sharing art, music, dreams, spiritual thoughts is maybe not me.

    Other thing is this whole rarity-thing, which I guess I have deep bias against. It is something I have wrestle against whole my life, because my life story is bit unusual one. I do have a strong need to be unique and special, it has protected me in the past from emotional and physical pain. But also it is just not true. I am like everybody else and we all are special and important. Now that I am an adult I just can't keep on seeing myself separated from anyone else. So I watch myself all the time to not fall in that trap where I start to think troubles in my life are caused because I am somehow "special" (not saying INFJ:s are like that, just saying I have this need inside me and it is strong one). I'm sorry, this is just very confusing explanation, but I am just trying to say that I know I have a strong need to be special and important, and I am trying to keep a lid on it. So you might understand why I tend to be wary labeling myself as an INFJ. I simply aren't objective enough to do that.

    Well, anyhoo. J-thing is something that I am positive about. That's just me. Probably I-thing too, althought I am very social and love to give speeches and lecture to wide audiences. On the other hand social mingling just drains me out. I love one-on-one-talks, love to give public speeches but that middle ground is just exhausting; small talk and parties. I however think I'm quite good at socializing, I just hate it and need long time to recover from it. People say I am quite hard to reach, and I believe that is true. I value my private life and don't wish to invite anyone there often. I am more reachable in my public life.

    Between I and J I am just confused.

    Here is a questionnaire I made, if it helps. Oh, and the side note, english isn't my first language, so maybe I can't articulate myself as fluently as I hope, sorry about that.

    1) What aspect of your personality made you unsure of your type?

    Ah, I think I just try to do that. See above.

    2) What do you yearn for in life? Why?

    Recognition (don' t we all?), knowledge and happy family life. And world peace. I am quite simple person.

    3) Think about a time where you felt like you were at your finest. Tell us what made you feel that way.

    When I am giving lectures. I love teaching, and unfortunately I am not that far in my academic journey that I could do it often. So I always jump to the chance to teach when it is possible. Also when some puzzle suddenly clicks (I am an archaeologist) and I finally know what some weird thing is really about.

    4) What makes you feel inferior?

    I don't know. Everything. Nothing. I just know that I always feel inferior. I hate the way I look. When I get bad feedback. It is hard to pinpoint where this all consuming feel of inadequacy comes from.

    5) What tends to weigh on your decisions? (Do you think about people, pro-cons, how you feel about it, etc.)

    I try to think things through, but honestly it is quite useless. At the end I always go with my gut feeling. Still, I always go through same thinking process to try weighing my options, trying to figure out other people opinions and so on even thought it always ends up where I started. Sometimes I feel like I am trying to remember what I have already decided.

    6) When working on a project what is normally your emphasis? Do you like to have control of the outcome?

    I like to have control on everything if it is up to me. I like to see the big picture first and then create detailed strategy according to it. My SO jokes that even my cleaning needs plans as elaborate as war, but I like to think that I am just very efficient and prepared.

    7) Describe a time where you had a lot of fun. How is your memory of it?

    Sigh, I am not good at remembering exact feelings. I know that I really had fun at my close friends wedding few weeks ago. I ate, danced bit, wine was good and I talked till morning with old and new friends. I had really fun time, I know that, it is a fact. But I just can't remember how did it feel. There are actually rare memories that still feels the same. When I met my SO. When our son was born. But fun is not the right word for those.

    8) When you want to learn something new, what feels more natural for you?

    Read about it. Learn in my own.

    9) How organized do you think of yourself as?


    10) How do you judge new ideas? You try to understand the principles behind it to see if they make sense or do you look for information that supports it?

    First I poke it from the distance to see what sort of thing it is. Then I poke it closer and try to gather information about it. Then I watch it until it blinks. Then I know it and how to handle it.

    11) You find harmony by making sure everyone is doing fine and belonging to a given group or by making sure that you follow what you believe and being yourself?

    Unfortunately I am basically a very lively doormat. I try to keep everyone spirits up and create harmonious feel for everyone. I bet I don't get ever depressed just because it might upset people and I can't handle that at all. Sigh. I am the rock that never waver. Here I am, just dump all your problems to me, I listen and never complain.

    12) Are you the kind that thinks before speaking or do you speak before thinking? Do you prefer one-on-one communication or group discussions?

    I think and speak simultaneously. I don't have preference.

    13) Do you jump into action right away or do you like to know where are you jumping before leaping? Does action speaks more than words?

    I do think action weights more than words. Words are just words, althought more stronger than thoughts. But I never jump to action. Never. I don't even run when bus comes too early.

    14) It's Saturday. You're at home, and your favorite show is about to start. Your friends call you for a night out. What will you do?

    Stay at home. I come up some excuse and stay at home, It's not even about which is more fun. I hate change of plans.

    15) How do you act when you're stressed out?

    I withdraw to myself. Hide it as long as I can, but I tend to lose sleep and become bit ill when I try to hold my feelings too long. I just need quiet time for awhile. At worst I just can suddenly explode for some minor thing if stress isn't dealt and I try to hide it. I might just be angry at any stupid thing, scream top of my head of and then run to be alone. Fortunately that is quite rare. It is just terrible to forget for a moment that after that moment there is going to be tomorrow too and very confused friends.

    16) What makes you dislike the personalities of some people?

    Impoliteness, unthoughtfullness and being without direction in life. I get very anxious when people don't care about others or waste their life.

    17) Is there anything you really like talking about with other people?

    Yeah. People relations, why doesn't our department works even thought I have all the answers (). Science, books, art...

    18) What kind of things do you pay the least attention to in your life?

    I guess physical things, my body especially. I should take better care of myself and I have quite rigid lifestyle for it. I jog and do yoga and eat according to plan. I don't like it, but if I don't do a plan and follow it my body would suffer eventely.

    19) How do your friends perceive you? What is wrong about their perception? ? What would your friends never say about your personality ?

    I suspect they are bit confused. I hear I am the warmest person they never see. I never call (I hate phones), I never try to reach them. But my doors are always open (just text before you come so I can prepare...) and I give all my attention and interest when people come to see me. I value my privacy, but on the other hand I don't have any secrets. I am very open and easy person to get along. I think people see me as an extrovert, but that is not true. My friends would never say I am mean or cold, I think at least. On the other hand, they would probably never say that I am easy to reach or they could just drop by with out notice.

    20) You got a whole day to do whatever you like. What kind of activities do you feel like doing?

    Reading and maybe organizing things.

    Thanks to all who read this. I appreciate any thoughts you have and feel to share!
    Last edited by Harper; 09-21-2014 at 03:06 AM.

  2. #2
    Member roastingmallows's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    7w6 so/sx
    IEE Ne


    Certainly Fe, but have you considered XSFJ? You sound very grounded to me. I know one INFJ and he is pretty out there, very artsy, spiritual, strong convictions, but overall abstract, unique guy. How do you relate to Ni?
    7w6 3w2 9w8 so/sx

  3. #3
    i love skylights's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    6w7 so/sx
    EII Ne


    ISFJ, probably.

  4. #4
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2014


    Thanks for the input! I have considered ISFJ, but I have even harder time relating to this personal type. Maybe because it seems to relate lot to practical stuff, and being good with hands. I on the other hand tend to keep world at arms length and unfortunately, I'm really terrible with any practical stuff, at least physically. I do hope I have a practical mind atleast. I take roastingmallows notion that I sound grounded person as a great compliment.

    I'm still learning mbti-system, so functions still puzzle me. I'm not sure how Ni would manifest in person (if we leave out all the mystic stuff). There are few maybe obvious things that could help pigeonhole me, but I think they are way too obvious and would easily lead to wrong conclusions. Sort of if I would be handy mechanic with a streak of risk taking, it would be to easy to put label me ISTP, if you know what I mean. Althought now that I think about it, it is no way obligation to any casual stranger to speculate it to any further.

    On the other hand, I can guess why I feel outsider in various different type communities. There is sort of this air of self-fulfilling prophecy that creates streak of inauthenticity. If people relate to one type they tend to act more align to that type. If test say you are wild and fun, you are super wild and fun, or if test say you are INTJ then here comes the matter-of-fact-dictation and world domination, or if tests say you are unique little unicorn that shoots rainbows from your somewhere, you act even more ditzy when everyone else is ditzy. So it's hard to relate when variety of characters narrows down to mere charicatures. Or I don't know. Maybe it's just me. Maybe it is how this medium portraits human beings. Something is left out in translation.

    Anyway, I guess I have whole this sensing-thing to take under new consideration. Leave no stone un-turned, eh?

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