Ok guys. This scenario will take a lot of explaining but I really need help. So I know these two guys, they are brothers The older is an ISTJ and the younger is an ENFP. So first off they are complete opposites, which doesn't help matters. The problem is that the ISTJ is very violent towards the ENFP- both physically and verbally, to the point that the ENFP is in pretty much constant physical pain somewhere on his body, and is emotionally very insecure.
Also, I should mention that I am dating the ENFP. No one knows this because we aren't "old enough" so we haven't told anybody, but the ISTJ is pretty suspicious and he will tease the ENFP about me and insult me in front of him when I'm not around.
Well, it's very true that INFPs like myself loathe conflict, and this situation is emotionally hurting me almost as much as the ENFP. However, anytime I try to get involved, the ISTJ along with my parents tell me to leave it alone; that it's "not my fight". I tried a verbal assault once, but it didn't phase the ISTJ. (They are so aggravatingly confident in their rightness!) Right now I'm trying to just ignore him, but I'm still aching to get him to leave the ENFP alone. Another big problem is that the ENFP refuses to retaliate. He truly adores his big brother and despite my encouragements will not hurt him.
I've been trying to figure out why the ISTJ acts this way in the first place, and the obvious reason is that he is jealous of his younger brother, who has more friends and a much kinder heart. I imagine that he hates how hateful he is, but the fact that he can't seem to do anything about it only causes him to be angrier and more aggressive.
Anyway, now that you know the background information, please please give me wise suggestions for dealing with this ISTJ. How would you prefer being approached, and what would just make you angry? Are there ways I could help him? Because I truly want to do this in a way that builds him up. I want him to stop out of love and kindness (both from me and his brother to him, and from him to his brother) , not because somebody pinned him to a wall and punched his guts out unless he promised to stop. So how can I love him through this? And how can I make him stop?
-Kitty