[NT] Compliments

[VeniVidiVertigo]

If someone gives me a compliment, alot of the time i really don't know how to respond naturally. And probably will just reflect the same compliment back: You [enter compliment here] too.
"your shoes are nice and really goes well with your shirt" ... well tnx, they sure.. go well with your shirt too.

Or worse: do you sometimes find yourself taking genuinely well meant personal compliments like insults or beeing talked down at (like a real a-hole):

"i did'nt know you were so good at X. you really have a gift" what makes you think i wouldnt be you fuck!?

Point is: can you be awkward in recieving compliments?

 

[Totenkindly]

Yes, I don't know an instinctive way to respond.

When I was a teenager, I used to respond by explaining everything that went wrong or was off, when someone complimented me. Yeah, I learned soon that that was not the right response, but finding the right one...? Takes longer.

Generally, I just nod and say thanks and try to find a connection point to mention, but... I tend to focus more on assessments than praise -- like, whether something worked, how well it worked, how it improved on the old, how it can be fixed, etc. I don't have an issue with praising or thanking someone for something I think they did that was substantial; it's just not always clear how to respond when I'm on the receiving end.

 

[Cloudpatrol]

Yes. I usually start analyzing if the perception is accurate which leads to awkward silence. Compliments about physical things mean much less to me than ones about my qualities. I know in the past I was dismissive or made funny faces.

I hadn't thought of taking them as being talked down to (but maybe now I will, laughs).

My Aunt gave me advice that has served well. She said "A compliment is like a gift that someone offers you. What would you do with a gift? You wouldn't try to give it back but you would say a gracious thank you. You don't need to immediately try and give them back a gift in return."

I really did think on that and now just try to say a genuine 'thank you'. Whether I believe the compliment or agree with it doesn't really matter as much as the person's intent in offering it (kindness, to connect more, etc).

 

[Hitoshi-San]

they make me feel a bit awkward, and I guess a lot of time it doesn't really affect my day too much unless it's a compliment on my personality or something really unique that I haven't heard before (so something that isn't my outfit, hair, or butt). but, what can I say, I always appreciate some positive feedback no matter what it's on.

as for responding to compliments, that's a bit strange for me. usually I just say "thanks", or if it's something that applies to the person who said to me also, I'll tell them "you too". I feel like I've always been a bit flat and emotionless when responding though, as opposed to those people who are super over the top.

 

[ceecee]

Yes. I usually just say thank you but over the years I've learned how to be a little more conversational about it. It's never going to be comfortable but it doesn't look like someone is torturing me anymore.

 

[Axwell]

well u gotta return the favour by bein mean cus obvs compliments r too hard 2 handle cus omg compliments lol i dont like compliments cus dey r shit

 

[Forever]

well u gotta return the favour by bein mean cus obvs compliments r too hard 2 handle cus omg compliments lol i dont like compliments cus dey r shit

ya ikr ttly gt u

 

[Axwell]

ya ikr ttly gt u

she get me fam wew

 

[Forever]

she get me fam wew

ye i getchu

 

[VeniVidiVertigo]

awww, somone like eachother.

 

[Lia_kat]

Yeah, I'm weird with compliments too. If someone says I'm pretty or talented I just say "thank you". Other ones are different depending on how I feel at the moment. My boss once told me "You really have a gift for resolving conflict," and I said "Meh, I try." Wtf is that? LOL.

 

[CitizenErased]

I'm the kind of person that replies "thanks, you too" to "Happy birthday" (yes, half my interactions with people are aaaawkwaaard)

It's like my brain paralyzes with compliments. Most of the times I say "thanks", just smile, say "pfff" (like "I know you're lying") or pretend I didn't hear to have more time to think what to reply.

In general I don't like compliments that refer to myself. I prefer the ones that refer to works or ideas I've built, A) because I can start explaining technical stuff/processes and avoid the awkardness, and B) because it's probably something I'm proud of, so it's easy to take the compliment. If someone says "you have nice eyes", all I'll think is that it's not my merit, so I don't need to thank people. I do it anyways because it's customary, but I don't understand it completely.

 

[Jetta]

I am equally critical of both compliments and criticisms. I will dispute compliments I don't agree with.

 

[Pionart]

I'm the kind of person that replies "thanks, you too" to "Happy birthday" (yes, half my interactions with people are aaaawkwaaard)

It's like my brain paralyzes with compliments. Most of the times I say "thanks", just smile, say "pfff" (like "I know you're lying") or pretend I didn't hear to have more time to think what to reply.

In general I don't like compliments that refer to myself. I prefer the ones that refer to works or ideas I've built, A) because I can start explaining technical stuff/processes and avoid the awkardness, and B) because it's probably something I'm proud of, so it's easy to take the compliment. If someone says "you have nice eyes", all I'll think is that it's not my merit, so I don't need to thank people. I do it anyways because it's customary, but I don't understand it completely.

Haven't you heard it said "eyes are the gateway of the soul"?

The way your eyes are isn't just about nice colours or something, it shows who you are!

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

My ENFP says I can't take them. He's probably right.

It feels like taking credit for something natural. Like, if I do something nice, I'm not doing it for attention. I'm doing it because I want to. So it takes me out of my head. "Well, what should I have done?"

But when he has been like, "Stop arguing with me and take the compliment." I laugh because he is right.

Surface compliments on appearance are nice to hear, but I have no emotional reaction one way or the other.

There are times somone will pull you aside and let you know something you did mattered to them and that is the best. Those are very touching.

 

[Virtual ghost]

Compliments tend to strike me as something pointless or sneaky.

 

[Coriolis]

To me, the best compliments are essentially positive feedback. That confirms that I have done something well, or that my actions had the desired effect. This means they must be specific, and given by someone in a position to know what they are talking about. Otherwise I tend to dismiss them as empty words. I still say "thank you", but then move on.

 

[geedoenfj]

Well it depends on the person making this compliment, and the situation..

 

[Smilephantomhive]

Well it depends on the person and the situation

Doesn't it always?



I always say "thank you" when someone compliments me, but I don't always look grateful according to others. I guess I'm not good at expressing that besides saying "thank you". I don't usually argue with them unless I am comfortable around them and I sincerely do not think it's true. Like I hate it when people tell me I'm good at math despite failing half the tests (how do I manage to get a B??).

 

[geedoenfj]

Doesn't it always?



I always say "thank you" when someone compliments me, but I don't always look grateful according to others. I guess I'm not good at expressing that besides saying "thank you". I don't usually argue with them unless I am comfortable around them and I sincerely do not think it's true. Like I hate it when people tell me I'm good at math despite failing half the tests (how do I manage to get a B??).

Yes I'm quite often receive compliments on my appearance or personality or charisma, I usually say something like "oh thank you, that's kind of you" but sometimes it gets uncomfortable, when they're more of astonished by me, it's exaggerated, specially from people who I don't want to get closer to (I rarely have close friendship with others) I feel like ok, I get it you like me, now let's move on haha