[INTJ] What is with my INTJ?

[Coriolis]

Boy take a breath. I've noticed this a lot with male INTJs, much more so than female INTJs. The men have this narcissistic thing going on. The women seem to be broken on the inside.

How so? I haven't noticed such a gender divide among INTJs, but then I know few who are female.

 

[jcloudz]

You only live once, your only young once. Dont allow someone who is not concerned about how they treat you, probably dont give 2 shits bout you, a chance to monopolize your time or thoughts, when there is someone out there who will. A person who cares will act in accordingly. Your only fault an its a big one, is NOT knowing how to let go. You will go through hell if you dont master this. Recognize your self worth , an go from there. Maybe your fellow nf´s can help figure out why you embraced a turd that was meant to be flushed. Are you thinking you are defective cause his actions toward you? Thats not a healthy way to measure your worth.

 

[Felix5]

How so? I haven't noticed such a gender divide among INTJs, but then I know few who are female.

I think men are taught and pressured by society to exhibit more ego, whereas women are taught to inhibit this quality. Women are taught to be meek, to assimilate into social groups, and to rely on other people.

But this is just a personal theory. I also think enneagram might have some effect.

Then of course there's also nature v nurture.

 

[anticlimatic]

The men have this narcissistic thing going on. The women seem to be broken on the inside.

Difference being...?

Observable narcissism (in general) is less often an intrinsic condition (like NPD) and more often the external odor of something rotten on the inside. So I tend to view it as an external biproduct of being 'broken.' And since women are more anatomically 'internal,' they tend to direct things inward if they're harmonious of mind and body, which may be why the results of the same issue may appear different, for different genders, at a glance.

 

[Felix5]

Observable narcissism (in general) is less often an intrinsic condition (like NPD) and more often the external odor of something rotten on the inside. So I tend to view it as an external biproduct of being 'broken.' And since women are more anatomically 'internal,' they tend to direct things inward if they're harmonious of mind and body, which may be why the results of the same issue may appear different, for different genders, at a glance.

Do they tend to be more anatomically internal? I think women find it easier to express and share their emotions rather than ruminate over them. I always thought men had that problem since many of them are taught and pressured into withholding them.

I'm sure a lot of this depends on personality type, I've met plenty of emotional and nurturing men in my life.

 

[Coriolis]

I think men are taught and pressured by society to exhibit more ego, whereas women are taught to inhibit this quality. Women are taught to be meek, to assimilate into social groups, and to rely on other people.

But this is just a personal theory. I also think enneagram might have some effect.

Then of course there's also nature v nurture.

Enneagram does have a significant effect, and you are right about how men and women have been raised and pressured differently in society. If any type is likely to resist social conditioning, however, it is INTJs. In general, I have found type overrides gender in most cases.

Do they tend to be more anatomically internal? I think women find it easier to express and share their emotions rather than ruminate over them. I always thought men had that problem since many of them are taught and pressured into withholding them.

I'm sure a lot of this depends on personality type, I've met plenty of emotional and nurturing men in my life.

The highlighted is almost nonsensical. There are extraverted and introverted stereotypes of both men and women, so I don't think anything like this comes into play. Yes, men have been pressured to keep real emotions to themselves. Their extraverted stereotypes are thus marked by loudmouthed bravado, or barking commands, rather than any genuine expression of feeling.

 

[Felix5]

Enneagram does have a significant effect, and you are right about how men and women have been raised and pressured differently in society. If any type is likely to resist social conditioning, however, it is INTJs. In general, I have found type overrides gender in most cases.

That's definitely true. I always had difficulty expressing myself when I was younger, still do although I've gotten much better. I have to rationalize to myself why it's better to open yourself up emotionally as opposed to keeping something in. It's a fine balance.

The highlighted is almost nonsensical.

I was asking a question because I did not understand the statement. I was hoping the poster would elaborate, hoping they'll respond :/

There are extraverted and introverted stereotypes of both men and women, so I don't think anything like this comes into play. Yes, men have been pressured to keep real emotions to themselves. Their extraverted stereotypes are thus marked by loudmouthed bravado, or barking commands, rather than any genuine expression of feeling.

This is definitely what I've noticed among men.