Yesterday my mom was texting me about Brave New World and a critique of it I showed her, and then she said, "just talked with grandma. She mentioned how happy she was that she got to spend time with you. She was very impressed with your guitar playing and the games we played."
I dunno, I have a problem with stuff like this. It's flattery. It's almost insulting. I have a lot of things I like to talk about, but why should we focus on ME and the mere fact that I like and am good at things? That's not the interesting part.
Fe is hollow. You can't have a particularly real interaction with someone using Fe, yet that's how my family has gotten on for years. Small talk. Compliments and gestures so stale and perfunctory they feel robotic. Fe is what you use to be popular. It's about interaction on a large scale, making the correct moves, being there at the right events, saying the right things to the right people, cultivating a charming personality, adorning it with whatever material goods or fashions are appropriate to their image as "someone who fits in". The problem I have with that is, again, once you get to know these people better and spend significant time with them, they are a bore. Actually, that's the kind of thing they try to avoid. They like to be on the go, always busy with some event, never spending much time to deepen their thoughts.
(coincidentally I have alluded several times recently to my inability, yet eligibility, to be in a relationship because I am the opposite of all those things and no one digs deep enough to really know me. The only appeal to me IS what comes from knowing me well. I have no superficial appeal, other than my body itself, and no propensity to achieve status.)
There's nothing to talk about with those people. I've spent years, actually, wondering what most people talk about amongst themselves all the time. I still don't really know. Maybe they don't really care about talking about interesting things. To me that was always the only apparent purpose to talk at all. I think I'm slowly beginning to realize, though, that these types simply don't care if what they are talking about is interesting (unless it's some juicy gossip, they love that.. but who doesn't I guess). They are just looking to affirm and carry out their roles with each other. An example:
My mom and my sister came to visit. Both have aux. Fe. They were talking to each other flatly about boring family and friend happenings and routine life. I brought up the topic of how 3d printing will change the world, and we got into what I saw as a fun, spirited debate. It carried on for a while, but they ultimately complained about it and wanted to change the topic. So apparently being engaged is less important to them than talking about things normal people talk about, or something. After that conversation ended they went back to talking about some cousins or something, and the shift back to boring was palpable. I think they realized that, actually, that's how pronounced it was. Everybody just "went polite" again, and it felt empty.
Was it what they really wanted? I don't think so. People can't actually resist engagement, not when it's right in front of them. The problem is that Fe dominates society, and they aren't used to that sort of thing happening, so they are taken aback at first, they don't realize that they could like that kind of thing. So I ultimately had my way. The technology discussion creeped back into the conversation now and then for the rest of their visit.