Sorry, I'm not a ENFP, but I have to say my ENFP brother to be "difficult."
Within my immediate family, I would have say he's "the black sheep." He's very enthusiastic about things that interest him, but when someone else doesn't seem as interested I guess he feels rejected and misunderstood. Additionally, he displays little tolerance for doing things he doesn't want to (ie, school, work or even simple chores). And, in my experience, he rarely ever just complies for the sake of having a peaceful environment like the way my parents (ESFJ and ISFP) and I do.
Personally, I find his communication style very confrontational. He's quick to belittle other people's ideas, interests or actions.
For example, I showed him the profiles for ENFP and enneagram Seven. He skimmed both and confirmed they were accurate, but doesn't care to learn more or investigate further. That's would be fine if he didn't get angry when I don't immediately jump on bored to his ideas about reincarnation, 9/11, the benefits of marijuana, astral projection, extra terrestrials, etc. It's seems like that, to him, the fact that I am not crazy about motorcycles is evidence of my inability to understand what's really important in life. As if I can't see how money corrupts or that police abuse their power or that I'm a mindless sheep because I can tolerate the drudgery of our contemporary society's structure.
Typical of ENFPs he despises bureaucracy and routine and apparently see's it everywhere. I suspect he's a 7w8. I don't consider that inherently bad thing or thing he's wrong to think that, but he doesn't do anything constructive to
My ISFP mother often comments on his lack of self-esteem. Despite his personality type, which is often very optimistic, she notes that he's very pessimistic. "I'm not smart enough for school," or "I can't bare being at work" are common complaints. Essentially, he I think he's frustrated because he's unsure about what he wants to do with his life, his capacity to deal with reality responsibly, as well as how to manifest ideals.
Altogether, he must feel very victimized.
However, I don't think he's intentionally mean and doesn't understand why we so frequently misinterpret his intentions. There is almost constantly tension between him and my parents or myself because he just comes off so aggressively among seemingly trivial things. Around his friends, he's always goofy, sweet and charming, but at home . . . !!!!
I know other ENFPs, but none of them are as intense as him. However, they aren't as imaginative, philosophical or idealistic. He has good qualities, but they just aren't particularly practical.
Maybe the problem is he (and I) are just spoiled--way too much television and not enough discipline as children.
Again, sorry to turn this into a rant. Of course, I am not saying that this is typical ENFP behavior or that you, MafiaAngel, behave is similarly because of your type. I just though it would be relevant to your questions.
Do any of you ENFPs have some constructive advice I could relay to him about escapism, being bored, setting goals, etc? I don't want to sound like I am trying to control him, which I think he resents deeply. Just help because I'm not blind to what he may be experiencing.