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  1. #1
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    Unhappy Obsessed with changing my type!

    So, how to put it...
    I've been sitting in MBTI typology for about four years now and I have ultimately come to the final conclusion... That I'm an INFJ. And it hurts. God, does it hurt. Why?
    Maybe before I'll start explaining, I'll state that I'm a 20-year-old female with an Asperger's profile (it's a female Asperger's, know the difference).
    It means - among all else - that I easily obsess about stuff and have difficulty seeing things in a way different than my internal schemes allow me.
    Now, jokes apart, my trouble IS serious. Just after learning about the whole typology system, I've got typed as an INTJ. And after that event, for about two to three years I was absolutely convinced I'm an INTJ. Meanwhile, I learnt about the cognitive functions etc.
    I started joking with my best friend - who's an INFP - that Te and Fi are so superior to Fe and Ti - and how 'those' people are some kind of 'underpeople' (we really did joke like this and I felt really confident in it).
    But at some point I started to question my being an INTJ (my friend didn't know about it, nor does she know now - she's still convinced I'm an INTJ).
    I don't feel like explaining the reasons for my questioning - it was just all a matter of becoming more and more obsessed with MBTI and learning more and more and becoming more and more critical as to my own type recognition.
    And over discovering I may not be the type I suspected myself to be for so long (an INTJ), I've become, like, SUPER anxious. Actually, I got into a HUGE depression solely because of it - of the thought of not being an INTJ. And - what's worse - being an INFJ (this voo-doo, mystical whatever type - no offense, this is how I USED to think about INFJs). I couldn't get used to the thought of actually possessing the Fe/Ti pair of functions rather than Te/Fi. And I still can't. And I'm still depressed.
    Actually, I'm taking anti-depressants and going to a therapy, yet nobody except me knows anout the real cause of my problem. I'm not joking.
    To me, it's like the world falling apart. The thought of being an INFJ makes me not want to live. Again, I'm not joking. I know how funny it may sound, but I'm totally serious and anyone trying to joke about it is going to be ignored by me. I know how many people are also obsessed with INTJ-ism and admire them, it's just that... I can't imagine my life any other way.
    I've already bought a few books on typology and developing specific cognitive functions in a hope of 'learning' how to be another type. And since I live in Poland, know it wasn't the least expensive of things to me.
    Yet, after only discovering I have EXTREME troubles changing my way of thinking - and thus - my personality type, I've only become more depressed and anxious. Actually, I find it hard to get up from bed and normally function. The only things I think about are literally whether what I'm doing is right or wrong, whether I'm doing things in a Te/Fi way and finally - that I probably don't and I'm screwed for life.
    I oftentimes think this is the way transsexuals/people with BIID feel. I just AM an INTJ in my own mind (probably thanks to my Asperger's) and I cannot accept the reality proving my mind wrong.

    So, my question is, what do YOU think I might do? Seriously. I was thinking of maybe getting in contact with some sort of MBTI specialist/psychologist with knowledge about the system. Because - really - trying to explain my problem to any of my actual therapists almost seems impossible - I would have to introduce them to all of this and... well, you know.
    Of course, if you have any other suggestions, I'd be open. I just want you to know, that I really find it almost undoable, changing my mind in any way. If something was supposed to be some way, it just SHOULD stay that way. That's how my mind has worked since I remember.
    All responses are welcome, maybe except for jokes/people trying to convince me to 'just' stop thinking about it. Guys, it's impossible. It's really an obsession and it's almost all I can think about. It's almost a matter of life or death to me, so I'm really speaking serious.
    Anyone willing to help - go on. I'm open (I feel like there's not much left for me anyway).
    Thanks.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Non_xsense's Avatar
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    So you are gonna let a theory define you.
    How the fuck Te/Fi is superior to Ti/Fe? , yeah you aren't a thinking type at all .... search help.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    I started joking with my best friend - who's an INFP - that Te and Fi are so superior to Fe and Ti - and how 'those' people are some kind of 'underpeople'
    Sounds snobby.

  4. #4
    Junior Member Glorfindel's Avatar
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    I too have had some anxiety over typing and trying to figure my self out and I have yet to come to a conclusion, but here are a few tips that may help. IMHO, MBTI and devices like it are a MODEL of who you are and how you work; they do NOT define who you are at all. I have gone back and forth with INTJ INFJ for a while and I could see stark differences in how I acted when I believed that I was one type or the other.

    Am I an INFJ and repressed my Fe because of my environment/upbringing?

    Am I an INTJ that has strong morals and wants to use my systems to help others?

    Everything I do is evaluated to see if that was something an INTJ would do or an INFJ. Am I using Fe in this group situation? Am I using Te to map out this project?

    When I am in "I am an INFJ" mode I become more proactive socially and start thinking about others more. I am more conscious of my love for reading, writing, and helping others through selfless acts. But I am scared of socialization and being open with my feelings. Getting in touch with my emotional side tends to scare me. It does seem mystical and unreliable. When I am in "INTJ" mode I am more analytical and trustworthy, I tend to ignore others. I may be more comfortable with this situation, but I don't smile, I'm not typically "happy."
    This dichotomy is constant is my mind, it tends to consume me for hours on end.

    All this to say that what you are feeling is completely valid.

    I understand that your mind won't rest until this is sorted out. I have found looking at enneagram and socionics combined with MBTI a better way of understanding myself. I have found that the ones under my name describe me very well in conjunction with MBTI. Not all INFJ's are the same, some are more analytical and less mystical. Check these out.

    Try to get out of your head a bit. Go on a walk with someone close to you and talk to them. Find a project to work on and consume yourself with that instead. It'll be hard, but look at it as a challenge to stop thinking about typology for a while, it will clear your mind for later, I promise. I know it is basically impossible to never think about it again, but if you can for even an hour of quiet, it will help immensely.

    I think the main thing is to say what I said in the beginning again. Your MBTI is NOT YOU! You are you, and no letters assigned to you can change that. I am still trying to accept this. You mention you have trouble "changing your personality," then don't! If you feel that to "become an INFJ" would change you into a new person, and this scares you, then don't! Why do you think you are an INFJ in the first place? MBTI is used as a means to understand yourself and improve based on how you think, not a means to change yourself. I would definitely talk to an MBTI specialist if you think that could help, they would know way more about this issue than a typical psychologist and be better at putting your mind at rest. Your sub conscience will accept their opinions better and stop the constant bombardment.

    I am by no stretch of the imagination an expert, but I do know this. You are you, not anything or anyone else. Don't change that. You are valued no matter if you are an INTJ, and INFJ, or something else entirely (even an ESFP ). If you want to talk, PM me.
    Likes Hermit of the Forest, Marta97 liked this post

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marta97 View Post
    So, how to put it...
    I've been sitting in MBTI typology for about four years now and I have ultimately come to the final conclusion... That I'm an INFJ. And it hurts. God, does it hurt. Why?
    Maybe before I'll start explaining, I'll state that I'm a 20-year-old female with an Asperger's profile (it's a female Asperger's, know the difference).
    It means - among all else - that I easily obsess about stuff and have difficulty seeing things in a way different than my internal schemes allow me.
    Now, jokes apart, my trouble IS serious. Just after learning about the whole typology system, I've got typed as an INTJ. And after that event, for about two to three years I was absolutely convinced I'm an INTJ. Meanwhile, I learnt about the cognitive functions etc.
    I started joking with my best friend - who's an INFP - that Te and Fi are so superior to Fe and Ti - and how 'those' people are some kind of 'underpeople' (we really did joke like this and I felt really confident in it).
    But at some point I started to question my being an INTJ (my friend didn't know about it, nor does she know now - she's still convinced I'm an INTJ).
    I don't feel like explaining the reasons for my questioning - it was just all a matter of becoming more and more obsessed with MBTI and learning more and more and becoming more and more critical as to my own type recognition.
    And over discovering I may not be the type I suspected myself to be for so long (an INTJ), I've become, like, SUPER anxious. Actually, I got into a HUGE depression solely because of it - of the thought of not being an INTJ. And - what's worse - being an INFJ (this voo-doo, mystical whatever type - no offense, this is how I USED to think about INFJs). I couldn't get used to the thought of actually possessing the Fe/Ti pair of functions rather than Te/Fi. And I still can't. And I'm still depressed.
    Actually, I'm taking anti-depressants and going to a therapy, yet nobody except me knows anout the real cause of my problem. I'm not joking.
    To me, it's like the world falling apart. The thought of being an INFJ makes me not want to live. Again, I'm not joking. I know how funny it may sound, but I'm totally serious and anyone trying to joke about it is going to be ignored by me. I know how many people are also obsessed with INTJ-ism and admire them, it's just that... I can't imagine my life any other way.
    I've already bought a few books on typology and developing specific cognitive functions in a hope of 'learning' how to be another type. And since I live in Poland, know it wasn't the least expensive of things to me.
    Yet, after only discovering I have EXTREME troubles changing my way of thinking - and thus - my personality type, I've only become more depressed and anxious. Actually, I find it hard to get up from bed and normally function. The only things I think about are literally whether what I'm doing is right or wrong, whether I'm doing things in a Te/Fi way and finally - that I probably don't and I'm screwed for life.
    I oftentimes think this is the way transsexuals/people with BIID feel. I just AM an INTJ in my own mind (probably thanks to my Asperger's) and I cannot accept the reality proving my mind wrong.

    So, my question is, what do YOU think I might do? Seriously. I was thinking of maybe getting in contact with some sort of MBTI specialist/psychologist with knowledge about the system. Because - really - trying to explain my problem to any of my actual therapists almost seems impossible - I would have to introduce them to all of this and... well, you know.
    Of course, if you have any other suggestions, I'd be open. I just want you to know, that I really find it almost undoable, changing my mind in any way. If something was supposed to be some way, it just SHOULD stay that way. That's how my mind has worked since I remember.
    All responses are welcome, maybe except for jokes/people trying to convince me to 'just' stop thinking about it. Guys, it's impossible. It's really an obsession and it's almost all I can think about. It's almost a matter of life or death to me, so I'm really speaking serious.
    Anyone willing to help - go on. I'm open (I feel like there's not much left for me anyway).
    Thanks.
    Quote Originally Posted by Non_xsense View Post
    So you are gonna let a theory define you.
    How the fuck Te/Fi is superior to Ti/Fe? , yeah you aren't a thinking type at all .... search help.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    Sounds snobby.
    Don't listen to these peasants. They prob use Fe and Ti. Lol. For real though - you can be whatever type you wanna be. You are an INTJ. Congrats. Now lets have a party about how autistic you are

  6. #6
    Senior Member Non_xsense's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by k9a4b View Post
    Don't listen to these peasants. They prob use Fe and Ti. Lol. For real though - you can be whatever type you wanna be. You are an INTJ. Congrats. Now lets have a party about how autistic you are
    People want to be special using mbti types but the only way i know to be special is actually hardwork doing what you like xD.
    Likes Agent Washington liked this post

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Non_xsense View Post
    People want to be special using mbti types but the only way i know to be special is actually hardwork doing what you like xD.
    If you wanna be special then you are special

  8. #8
    Member ugghh's Avatar
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    I'm really sorry you're going through this. From my own point of view, I'd say that taking MBTI that seriously is a bad idea. It's just a model, and the only reason to use it is if it's useful. If thinking about it is stressing you out, try to focus on other things. Focus on the things you want to be good at, and work on those. If you want to be good at leading groups and using objective logic, practice doing those things! Or whatever else you like about Te. In some cases, you can use the functions you're good at to compensate for the ones you aren't good at. (I personally find that I can use Ti to substitute for the lack of integrity that comes with PoLR Fi)
    A lot of people have strengths that seem like they'd be unlikely combinations, purely based on MBTI. Focus on what you want to be and what you want to do in life, not what a certain model implies about you.

  9. #9
    Quetzalcoatl Norexan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Non_xsense View Post
    So you are gonna let a theory define you.
    How the fuck Te/Fi is superior to Ti/Fe? , yeah you aren't a thinking type at all .... search help.
    So Introverts/ Ultimate Planners or IxxJ.
    Те/Fi better hide emotions from people. This thing is stable as rock. Person is colder then absolute zero. They can die in laughing inside but act like they don't understand joke. Know people but only in theory or superstitions. They often think about selves as F,means they as ter Fe think they are some kind of elitist. On another hand, Fe/Ti can be hysterical and can act like a "time-bomb" but it is better in reading people needs. They often think about selves as T, often overrated themselves.
    Life Path 4. True Neutral 8 1 6 3 7 5 Teexcellent>Niexcellent>Figood>Tigood>>>>Siaverage>Fe unused
    The most sacred of the duties of a government [is] to do equal and impartial justice to all its citizens." --Thomas Jefferson
    ===Logical Crusader===

    Dail [or Daer] ú-[o] chyn [or fyn/thyn] [?] Ú-danno i failad a thi; an úben tannatha le failad.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Non_xsense's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Norexan View Post
    So Introverts/ Ultimate Planners or IxxJ.
    Те/Fi better hide emotions from people. This thing is stable as rock. Person is colder then absolute zero. They can die in laughing inside but act like they don't understand joke. Know people but only in theory or superstitions. They often think about selves as F,means they as ter Fe think they are some kind of elitist. On another hand, Fe/Ti can be hysterical and can act like a "time-bomb" but it is better in reading people needs. They often think about selves as T, often overrated themselves.

    You are totally wrong , Te/Fi egotistical behaviors with limited knowledge ( only can think a few point of view ) ... yeah they are the "time-bomb"( they rate themself higher than they actually are ) and far from stable ( maybe in you world xD , 3rd and 4rd Fi is just hard to deal 'cause they can't think more than themself ).


    Ti/Fe is Selfness with far more big picture ( it's not about me , it's about the group ) . I'm an intp so my Fe is like Fi really xDD , the order can change the global point of view .

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