That surprises me too. While most of the SFJ women I know personally are indeed career and achievement oriented, family also seems to be an important life goal for them. As an example, my ISFJ ex wife certainly took work and career very seriously (much moreso than I did), but she also had definitive, detailed intentions for children in the future and spent a great deal of time talking about and pre-planning for that eventuality. In fact, one of our major sticking points ended up being the fact that I wanted to wait considerably longer than she did to have kids.Just in conversations I've had with various SFJs there's way more education and career focus than family and children focus. Quite a few of them are married with no kids (and no immediate plans for kids) and I'm a little surprised at the vehemence have about not having kids.
I'm not sure. Such a mother would break the traditional mold in every sense of the word, which in itself might call into question her SFJ-ness.I wonder if people would accurately type an SFJ mother as SFJ who let's say had higher educational attainment (thus increasing your Openness score in the Big Five), wasn't a teacher or nurse (an SFJ engineer or scientist), wasn't always trying to lick you to death, stuff you with cookies and other baked goods, and didn't obtrusively insert herself into your life.
I'm convinced that my mom uses Facebook primarily as a tool to keep up with what my sister and I are doing. We both live a long way from home and rarely fill her in on the everyday details of our lives. She also likes it because it allows her to better keep track of all the community gossip.My mom's terrified of Facebook and putting information about herself on the Internet. She's terrified that she'll get her identity stolen or that her computer will be infected with some major virus.
That surprises me too. While most of the SFJ women I know personally are indeed career and achievement oriented, family also seems to be an important life goal for them. As an example, my ISFJ ex wife certainly took work and career very seriously (much moreso than I did), but she also had definitive, detailed intentions for children in the future and spent a great deal of time talking about and pre-planning for that eventuality. In fact, one of our major sticking points ended up being the fact that I wanted to wait considerably longer than she did to have kids.
I wonder if there are cultural factors at work? I was raised in a rural area and have spent most of my life around small-town folks (the ex-wife included). I've spent the last six months working in a larger city for the first time in my life (Memphis) and I've noticed that there seems to be a much tighter focus on work and career (vs. family and relationships) among 25-40 year olds here than I've previously encountered.
I'm not sure. Such a mother would break the traditional mold in every sense of the word, which in itself might call into question her SFJ-ness.
Sure. In fact I've seen it to some extent (though not to the same extent I've seen with STJs of both genders). SFJs are certainly driven by their very nature to doggedly pursue their life goals, whatever those may be. Maybe such an SFJ would transfer her nurturing instincts toward a pet in lieu of children & family?So what if you met an SFJ who transferred that rigorous thought and planning towards a career or personal passion? The same basic mechanisms applied differently. I'm talking about ambitious career goals like being an entrepreneur, trying to make partner of this firm or top lobbyist with this PAC, or director of that, by 40.
That makes sense. No matter how expansive our thought processes or openness to ideas, we still tend to operate under the assumptions formulated by our experiences to some extent.Yep. I'm in Washington, DC. I've long believed that geographic location affects manifestation of type and if type doesn't manifest in a way people are used to seeing it they won't recognize it. It has to do with exposure.
What's the trend? Unless you said it already on this thread and I missed it...I have noticed a definite trend in regard to mothers, their apparent type and peoples perception of that said type.
Yep - she's INFJ.Do you know your Mothers type?
I'd say... positive? I have a lot of friends who are INFJ (and ENFJ) now, and I'm good at dealing with them. I'm good at reassuring their neuroses, just by being grounded and rationalistic (comparatively speaking).Has it had a positive, negative or no affect on you in regard to that type?
+100000000000000000000000000Or expand what it means to be an SFJ.
What's the trend? Unless you said it already on this thread and I missed it...
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I'm starting to wonder if being a mother makes you crazy.
That or people with crazy mothers are drawn here.
Not at all. I know I'm still trying to make sense of it all and MBTI is one avenue of explanation for some of the crazy.Would that be surprising?
I wonder if people would accurately type an SFJ mother as SFJ who let's say had higher educational attainment (thus increasing your Openness score in the Big Five), wasn't a teacher or nurse (an SFJ engineer or scientist), wasn't always trying to lick you to death, stuff you with cookies and other baked goods, and didn't obtrusively insert herself into your life.
That surprises me too. While most of the SFJ women I know personally are indeed career and achievement oriented, family also seems to be an important life goal for them.
I wonder if there are cultural factors at work?
I'm not sure. Such a mother would break the traditional mold in every sense of the word, which in itself might call into question her SFJ-ness.
Excellent point.I think there are generational factors involved also. Women are supposed to "have it all" now. It is a cultural norm now in many ways to pursue career first, then have children in your 30s; or that having career means sacrificing being a parent. Fe adjusts to social/cultural values, so I'd see younger SFJs as aiming for this "new" norm, especially since this concept has been emphasized the past 30 years in western culture, and it's what has been set before them as the ideal.
I have noticed some hostility towards types from some people who seemed to have had bad relationships with their mothers who are that same type. Especially ENFJs .. To me ENFJs seem to get their label of being manipulative from people who had bad relationships with their ENFJ moms. So I was just kind of expanding on this thought to see if the trend expands beyond ENFJs .
Well I hate to say it, but this thread has actually reinforced my opinion that ESFPs can make horrible, unstable mothers unless there is a stabilizing father figure of a more responsible type.