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Thread: ADHD

  1. #11
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    I was suspected to have ADHD as a child (8-9), and was diagnosed when I was 11. However it was due to being prescribed citalopram for something else and it made me kind of nuts; doctors didn't notice because this was in 2001 and that connection was still new. When I was young I was high energy, curious, generally flippant to authority, sharp mood swings, stubborn, loud and sometimes socially inappropriate and didn't understand why. All and all I had good intentions and was "normal" the majority of the time, so it was often forgiven.

    As an adult I don't have anything close to ADD or ADHD. My memory was and is a steel trap, and poor memory is one of the requirements. Diagnoses of it is tricky.
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  2. #12

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dreamer View Post
    These are all such fantastic posts and go into quite a bit of depth with how you each personally view and understand your ADHD, thanks guys!

    Will post my own experiences here once I get the chance ...if I can remember (an ADHD joke for y’all, but no, seriously, if I don’t come back by tonight, someone please remind me )


    The irony of the OP of a thread on attention deficit disorder being inattentive is priceless.
    There is no mysterious essence we can call a 'place'. Place is change. It is motion killed by the mind, and preserved in the amber of memory.
    J. A. Baker
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  3. #13
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    My parents wondered if I had ADD or ADHD throughout most of my childhood. But it wasn’t diagnosed because I did well in school (for the most part). I may have been labeled a problem child because I read during class and started speaking out of turn. But my grades were good, so no one ever bothered to test me.

    I was actually diagnosed with ADD when I was about 13 or 14. Apparently now they would give the diagnosis of ADHD, primarily inattentive type to someone showing the same qualities as I had. I actually still take medication for it, I wonder what would happen if I talked to my doctor about safely going off on it (rule of thumb, never just stop taking meds it can be REALLY dangerous). But I have decent health insurance so I figure it’s best just to stay on it since I can afford it.
    I assume I would still qualify as a person with ADHD as an adult. I have no reason to believe that I grew out of it, especially since I was diagnosed considerably later than most kids are.

    I am an ENFP and I have always had strong levels of Ne. I can see how Ne can be seen as ADD or ADHD. There are similarities between the two.

    I do think they are separate and distinct things. An actual diagnosis of ADD or ADHD should signify that these behavior negatively impact a person’s ability to function as they did with me. If they don’t negatively impact that, then there might be an over diagnosis (which I believe probably has happened).
    I do think there are people with ADD and ADHD who don’t have Ne as one of their top two functions. Maybe they don’t have it in their stack at all.

  4. #14
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    Thanks for the reminders guys, you all are AWESOME! I'm not even tryin to be funny here, which is sad. I legit, would've forgotten about this thread had I not received post quotes and even reps! about returning to post.

    Knowing myself at least well enough to know I'd need those reminders (a little snippet of my post to come) has much to do with me feeling like I own my ADHD, at least most of the time. You all can expect something from me tonight once I get off from work
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dreamer View Post
    Thanks for the reminders guys, you all are AWESOME! I'm not even tryin to be funny here, which is sad. I legit, would've forgotten about this thread had I not received post quotes and even reps! about returning to post.

    Knowing myself at least well enough to know I'd need those reminders (a little snippet of my post to come) has much to do with me feeling like I own my ADHD, at least most of the time. You all can expect something from me tonight once I get off from work
    can we really?
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  6. #16
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    Alrighty, so I've shared with some people here and there, shared some snippets into my early childhood on the forum and some of the insecurities I grew up with. Some of those revolved around feeling different, ok, most of those insecurities revolved around those feelings, but they were never the good sorts of thoughts, always negative, and always something to feel ashamed of. To make matters worse, I not only felt different and out of place, I had the worst insecurities over feeling stupid and unintelligent. I never seemed to pick up the material in school as quick as the other students, and could really, never do much of anything as good as the other students. I managed to get into some of the honors classes and AP classes in high school, and tended to hang around the goodie two-shoes sorts of students that got good grades, were involved in everything, and played in sports. I played varsity tennis myself and did have a lot of friends, but beneath all that, resided a lot of pain, and feeling that the life I led was somehow a lie. Sure I was in these honors classes and no one even poked fun of my perceived stupidity and slow mind, but those insecurities that had accumulated all through elementary school, middle school, high school, they just kept compounding and getting heavier and heavier. As you can all imagine, this over time, left me feeling rather depressed and feeling like the dreams I often held as a child, were only dreams I could ever enjoy in my imagination because, why on Earth?! Would these sorts of dreams ever come true for me. The crazy thing about insecurities, is that no matter what your life may be screaming at you, what your life may be shaking you vigorously to wake up and see with your eyes what's around you, those insecurities may leave you blind to all of it. And mine did just that. I went onto a private university, perfect for me really, since I was situated in small class sizes and the individual attention and care I needed to help me achieve the grades I needed. I was invited to join not only an honors program in the humanities, but invited to join an honors collegiate society. I also came up with some architectural designs that won great praise time and time again from my peers and professors. My projects were seen as highly intelligent in their design and execution, and carried a thoughtfulness that simply was not present in some of the other student's work. I can admit, I was often embarrassed by such remarks, because even still, my insecurities loomed over me. I just couldn't fathom how I could achieve anything better than mediocre, and that maybe, just MAYBE, I had a modicum of intelligence in me.


    Fast forward four years later, and by the luck of the draw, I discovered I had ADHD-combined. I went in for a routine physical, and because I answered one question a particular way, my doctor suggested I check out a psychiatrist he knew that specialized in child and adult ADHD. I thought to myself, what?! it can't be! I have two cousins that I know that has it, and they are constantly bouncing off the walls. But that's where the assumptions ended. Once I got my official diagnosis and started taking medication for that, and the Dysthymia I apparently had as well, I did all the research I could into both, and things were starting to really make sense for me. One may think that this would instantly give me a huge relief, an answer to all those years of struggling and self doubt. Well, it did give me answers, but it also momentarily threw me into a deeper pit. BECAUSE of those insecurities, I took what could've been a positive realization, which I could then grasp and find ways to work with, to instead see it as sealing my fate that I will never become anything more than mediocre, and all my fears as a child had come true, and there was no more denying that I was defective.


    Thankfully though, the grad school I attended, had excellent therapists and nurse practitioners on staff that worked with me, and even set up a time management coach for me to see every week to help me plan out my routines and schedules. I was never one for to-do lists, calendars, and organization, but once I started seeing the benefits those tools had for me, in helping me to maintain some control over something I felt I would never have the least bit of control over, I was hooked. I still find it hard to maintain these tools on the day-to-day, but if I ever fall off the wagon, I know which tools will help get me right back on the horse. Something else happened in all of this, I started to see some of the benefits to having ADHD. Sounds crazy ya? Well one thing is true, when I am on my A game, I often come to conclusions and solve problems far quicker than any of my peers. When I'm "on", I also feel like I just gained 40 IQ points even though I'm still just utilizing the same brain. The drawback though, is that my mind only knows how to sprint, and how to stop. There is no in between. I'm sure everyone out there with ADHD understands this sort of dynamic, but I didn't just leave it at that. I decided well, shoot, since I know I can't control when these surges come and go, I'm going to do the best I can to ride out these surges when they come, and get all the work done that I need to, before it leaves and my mind shuts off again. My whole strategy in grad school was essentially based off this basic premise, that I cannot control my brain, but what I CAN do, is to ride out the waves as best I can. Let those around me know that I have ADHD and that if I slip up, not to take offense, but to understand that I AM trying my best. But finally, and most importantly, I took a sort of oath to myself, to do my best not to beat myself up over my struggles and failures, to not call myself stupid and inept. I am NOT going to let ADHD be the death of me, and I am sure as hell not going to let anyone else tell me what I can and cannot achieve. If I fall, I shall fall gracefully because I will at least have given it my all, rather than giving up and throwing in the towel prematurely.


    There are times I wish I were diagnosed early as a child, and part of me at times may feel a sort of jealousy of those that were diagnosed young, but...I really can't be jealous either, because the struggles I went through, all that self doubt and self hatred growing up, miraculously has allowed me to becomes quite a strong and determined individual. People may call me idealistic, but I would say I beg to differ, because I have very much seen reality, and my perception of a reality that could've been, but I chose NOT to remain there, and to do something about it. I do believe things happen in life for a reason, and though you may not always be able to pinpoint what these connectors pieces and events in life may mean initially, they are somehow tied to the greater whole that you shall discover the meaning to down the road.
    The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams
    -Eleanor Roosevelt


    ~Always, an Enthusiastic_Dreamer

  7. #17
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    I keep trying to tell my doctor that my depression is caused in part by my ADHD, and that treating the ADHD is the preferable route as it's the least invasive in terms of possible side effects. It's been a real fucking struggle as she refuses to go that route. First, it was my depression-caused weight loss, and now it's high blood pressure. I know for a fact that there are ADHD meds that don't raise blood pressure, and I also know that exercise would lower my blood pressure, as would reducing stress or depressive feelings, but it's hard to start these things in my current state.

    It's extremely frustrating, to the point where I am highly considering switching doctors completely. I got emotional in an appointment once and started to cry (I had literally just broken up with my boyfriend and it was triggered by her asking me how I was doing, I guess I just was holding too much in). She took one look at me and decided I was in a crisis - her exact words, which was frustrating and made me only feel worse for not having better control over my emotions.

    I payed hundreds of dollars to get rediagnosed as an adult, and it's been almost a year, and she won't write a prescription. I was also on a year-long waitlist for psychiatric services, and they sent me a letter in the mail that basically said "fill this out and let us know if you still need help," and it had to be postmarked by a certain date, which landed on a Sunday. So, OF COURSE I mailed it out the day after, BECAUSE I HAVE FUCKING ADHD, and I haven't heard back from them at all, so I'm guessing they booted me off the list.

    It's fucking infuriating and not fair. The mental healthcare system in this country is fucked. And who does it help to not treat me? More importantly, who does it hurt? My kids suffer the most because I struggle to control my emotional impulses and they never know which mommy they're going to get, which only further serves to make me feel like shit for not being able to keep things on lock down better.

    It's a vicious cycle.

    Thanks for starting this thread and sorry I digressed a bit, but it's relevant in my case.

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    Has anyone been diagnosed with chronic fatigue/fibro resulting from having lived too long with undiagnosed ADD/ADhD? I'm still learning all about this but apparently these are linked. I was actually diagnosed with cfs/fibro first and then later Inattentive ADD.

    To the best of my current understanding...people with undiagnosed ADD/ADhD unknowingly use anxiety and/or a state of hyper alertness in order to get by like "regular folk" do... like I actually notice this when I'm driving in traffic this hyper alert state...and then eventually the body says "fuck you".

    Anyone?

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starry View Post
    Has anyone been diagnosed with chronic fatigue/fibro resulting from having lived too long with undiagnosed ADD/ADhD? I'm still learning all about this but apparently these are linked. I was actually diagnosed with cfs/fibro first and then later Inattentive ADD.

    To the best of my current understanding...people with diagnosed ADD/ADhD unknowingly use anxiety and/or a state of hyper alertness in order to get by like "regular folk" do... like I actually notice this when I'm driving in traffic this hyper alert state...and then eventually the body says "fuck you".

    Anyone?
    I don't know because I've been in the "fuck you" stage for a few years now and only recently realized it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Peter Deadpan View Post
    I don't know because I've been in the "fuck you" stage for a few years now and only recently realized it.

    haha yah I hear yah.
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