Do you tell people?

[/DG/]

I don't have the energy to pretend I like someone I don't or to mask my feelings about a situation I find unpleasant. I'm so emotive that I'm pretty sure I'll give everything away even if I tried not to. Thankfully I don't care enough to want to be everyone's friend, so I'm often 'that bitch' that shared her opinion and removed herself from a situation with shitty people. Life's too short to waste time on pleasantries for people that you don't care for.

Weirdly, I don't have the energy to be overly outspoken when keeping to myself works just fine. For some reason we both find each other's approach to be tiring.

 

[Mole]

When you have a problem with them?

Or do you sort of wait it out- hope it fades away- and that you don't ever have to address it?

Or do youtry to hit it at the source.

Or do you passive aggressively 'feed' off of disliking someone and see nothing wrong with 'targeting' them in some way shape or form. (Gossip, direct attacks, underhanded remarks, ignoring them- ect ect-)

Question is. What do you do when you dislike someone? Try to remove yourself from situations involving them? What if not possible- just try to be civil?

Personally. Id like to think that if I have a problem with someone, I would just talk to them about it. Its what I would want someone to do for me- even if its harder/uncomfortable. But sometimes I DO have difficulty doing this. Ex: in situations where either I have to give ALL- or I have to give MOST of the effort/take most of the blame/feel Im being 'more fair and reasonable' than the other person. Addressing things in these situations seems just half pointless- but usually even then Ill at least TELL them and TRY to work things out.

But yeah. Its something Ive been thinking about for a while. I greatly respect people who can 'tell me like it is' without spewing unneccessary vitriol. People who don't have 'to win'. Mm Im adding too much to this and it might be getting hard to remember the question. Anyways.

How do you handle friction/dislike/whatever- from others?

What I have come to realise is that I am the problem. However the people I tend to dislike are neurotics. And I find I dislike them because they are past masters of arousing strong negative feelings in me. So I say to myself I am not going to let them control my emotional life, I control my emotions, so I can avoid them or do something entirely different.

This approach seems to have no negative effects, I keep my equilibrium, and I avoid being caught up in the psychodrama of neurotics.

And interestingly I have no negative feelings with those with a psychosis. I feel relaxed with them. I understand them from the inside. And I have a satisfying emotional relationship with them.

 

[Morpeko]

When you have a problem with them?

Or do you sort of wait it out- hope it fades away- and that you don't ever have to address it?

Or do youtry to hit it at the source.

Or do you passive aggressively 'feed' off of disliking someone and see nothing wrong with 'targeting' them in some way shape or form. (Gossip, direct attacks, underhanded remarks, ignoring them- ect ect-)

Well, it depends on the reason why I dislike them. I need to look into it more before I actually do something about it, otherwise I'd just be an irrational piece of shit.

At times, I can figure out a reason why I have an issue with a person.
For example, I dislike a lot of people at work, but the reason is because they're incompetent. So I tell them the things they need to fix. I can be rather stern about it too. If they don't want to get yelled at, they need to do their job right...

Sometimes waiting it out works, especially if the reason I dislike someone is a bad first impression. I feel disdain toward most people on first impression anyway, so I've learned over time that I need to re-evaluate people as I talk to them more. Oftentimes, my opinion changes, and then I don't have to do anything, I can naturally be civil.

Otherwise, I just "target" them. I'm aloof toward majority of people, but I have no problem outright ignoring people I despise in person. The difference between my regular withdrawal and outright ignoring someone is that I usually acknowledge strangers in some way, be it nodding or "mmhmm." If I have ill feelings toward someone, I'll just leave when they're talking.

Sometimes I make underhanded remarks if I need to talk to them. Fuck gossip though. I admit, I'm guilty if I find out that other people dislike the same person I do... but I try not to initiate it. It just doesn't do anything helpful.

Question is. What do you do when you dislike someone? Try to remove yourself from situations involving them? What if not possible- just try to be civil?

Either tell them or leave, in person.

Online is harder. I often find that online friends have taste in friends that do not match up with my own, so I resort to only talking to my friends on DM a lot of the time to avoid the people with whom I have beef. I know in the past I've had many online friends who don't care for some of my other online friends, but I'm not mature like they are... This is kind of why I don't like big groups after a while.

How do you handle friction/dislike/whatever- from others?

Not well, I'm a fucking hypocrite.

I allow myself to hate people with "reasons" behind it, but whenever someone shows any negative opinion towards me, I dwell in it for ages and then wonder what the fuck is wrong with me.

 

[prplchknz]

depends on the person and their reaction to criticism in the past.

 

[RadicalDoubt]

It depends on the situation. Normally, I don't really "like" or "dislike" people that much, so when I dislike a person, they also typically dislike me and I'm not actually forced to interact with them? Generally speaking, if I have to interact with them consistently, my demeanor is flat enough that the person in question does not take interest in me or it's obvious enough to them that I don't want much to do with them. I've never really had to tell people I have a problem with them except maybe once (and I don't believe it was ever taken too seriously), but I'm always respectful/polite to the person regardless.

I think there's only one situation where I deviated from my more natural demeanor and that person currently seems to think I like them far more than I do, as I was "pushed" to the point of becoming manipulative and passive aggressive (which of course, due to my expected demeanor has been taken as friendly comedy between friends). This is somewhat of a last resort, but not below me I guess...

 

[Maou]

I am definitely a bit odd when it comes to confrontation. I am more likely to try and change the subject/walk away than fight directly. I don't like it when people fight. But on the flip side, I have a serious case of needing to stand up for the underdog/injustice. So I am much more likely to speak up for other people, than myself.

As for myself, it is only when it is repetitive abuse/abrasiveness and dislike. That is when I get mad.

I have grown up in a way, that learning to push negative emotions out of my mind is as easy as breathing. Then I will quickly forget any feeling associated with said person easily. But, repetition is what gets to me. Sometimes it is also my perception of what is happening, that can warp myself into thinking it's repeating too. So when I reach that threshold, I generally tell someone off. I will also essentially get worked up really fast when I feel it is personal.

 

[Firebird 8118]

Mmm... it depends really.

Is the other person okay with handling my direct confrontation and responding in a mature manner? Or do they find ways to twist things around and play the victim?

If it’s the former, I’ll tell them straight up and try to sort it out decently. If it’s the latter, I’ll either beat around the bush or actively ignore them.

 

[J. Starke]

I tell them if it wouldn't endanger my job or existence. If it would, I wait it out and consider my options.

 

[Novella]

When it becomes an issue I will tell them, otherwise not.

 

[Stigmata]

It depends. If It's possible, I just completely ignore them and move on with my life. Why devote unnecessary energy or thought to someone I don't like? I don't even want to care enough to devote projecting negative energy their way.

If I have to deal with them to some degree (I have a situation quite like this going on right now), I'll be civil with them, but try to minimize communication with them outside of that, and they probably won't have to question whether or not I dislike them.

If it's someone in my personal life, though, I tend to be much more direct about things and will seek some sort of resolution.

 

[Dreamer]

I’ve gotten to a point in my life, a realization, to know how finite life and time is to me, to be able to more easily cut bad juju out of my life and mind far more easily and readily than I used to, not even all that long ago. Criticism doesn’t fall into this category as I’m very much a believer in personal growth and continually evolving and learning more about myself, but when taking a step back from any given situation, if I determine it won’t have any significant impact to me in the long term, towards my greater goals in life, I cut it out and ignore it completely. I’ll have no emotional connection to the matter whatsoever.

The issue might be there, someone might have a problem with me, I’ll do what I can to resolve it, sure, I’m not looking to piss everyone off around me, but I won’t have much endurance or won’t put in too much effort into resolution, again, if I’ve determined it isn’t something that would effect me long term.

 

[theablekingedgar]

i've learnt over time to confront people, as situations left open tend to fester and that's not good for others.