Are you sure you want to be "responsible?" Given the choice, I think I'd rather not be. Sadly, I am driven to be--strongly compelled by my own brain circuitry. Figuring out one's own brain circuitry (like figuring out one's Enneagram Type) gives one the opportunity to be "the best of your type that you can be." If being responsible is in your natural make-up, then you have that potential, and that would be a goal you could actually achieve. On the other hand, I know people who simply can not be as responsible
as I might like them to be, but that's me projecting. Their own path to self-discovery and maximizing their human potential is to be the best person they can be given their brain wiring, chemistry, and history. Figuring out what you
can do is the first step toward being the best person that you
can be. It's possible that being "responsible" (and I am not sure how you're defining that, precisely) may not be in your make-up.
Personally, I love tests (as opposed to books) for this sort of thing. I'd start with the multi-intelligences test here:
Compare Basic and Pro Personality Tests
The link to the free version is at the bottom left of the page above. See what your strengths and weaknesses are. Learn about yourself, and be patient with yourself. We are all constantly changing, but there are many things about you (particularly brain-wiring and history) that simply can not be changed. Try to change only what you can.
Allow me to also add that age is a relevant factor here. The human brain doesn't fully develop until around the age of 25. Before that, it's nigh impossible for any of us to have much sense of "who we really are."
Good luck! :hi: