What do you think of ESTJs?

[Doctor Cringelord]

My ESTJ friend is efficient and logical and energetic, etc. He is also controlling and domineering and rigid.

He is a single dad (his ESFP ex cheated on him when he was deployed in the Iraq War and then divorced him when he got back.)

He is very wife hungry and has an endless string of attractive GFs, but none live up to his standards and strict rules. I am his relationship sounding board, but I will be sorry for his wife after he remarries.... he is completely clueless how controlling and manipulative he is.....

Such a great guy, but so clueless......

he needs an ENTJ lady to knock his ass down a few pegs. Or an AI wife-bot

 

[Captain_Invincible]

My Dad is an ESTJ. He is a consistent guy, he is pretty business minded, confident, learns a lot from his experiences, researches everything in depth before making conclusions, is very knowledgeable, organized, has decent self control, is loyal to his family/job, has a good sense of humor, is an amazing chef and a good provider from what he can provide for us. But he can be very controlling (he has been called a 'control freak' before), has a short fuse, is very nitpicky, can be manipulative and very direct. He also has no room for people's opinions that have no proof of existing, and conflict with his own. He can be VERY narrow-minded and judgemental at times.

 

[Poki]

I don't see them as intelligent types. I see hem as driven which creates smart. Difference between intelligencertain and smart. Smart is something that is a matter of intelligence and time. Less intelligence and more time can be just as smart as more intelligence less time.

They are very this is what I want and this is how i am gonna get it driven. They grab life by the horns and point it in the direction they want. Issue I see with that is that they will run over and destroy some stuff in the process. Like a child in a crystal store. Do to that they need to be surrounded by people who can traverse the crystal shop when needed and retrieve and accomplish what's needed. While they may try, they don't generally have a good enough map of the touchy spots to traverse, just avoid.

I have know a few and get along with them. I end up being the gopher in the crystal shop. The one that allows them to make decisions they need to make. I can see lack of intelligence greatly, but again, it has nothing to do with smart or knowledge of the person. They are usually very knowledgable and smart.

 

[Betty Blue]

yah my longest most loyal and kick ass friend is an ESTJ gal, how she balances her life, keeps shit together, juggles three kids, work, helps and organises her friends... whilst keeping the house spotless is totally beyond me...and has my utmost respect. She's one of the more open minded ESTJ's I know though and a very healthy one. Her mother is an amazing psychologist which has probably helped a great deal. But yah, she rocks! She works with me a day a week, not for the money, though i pay her more than i pay myself, but she has been offered plenty of high salary jobs that she has turned down... she does it because she knows i need the help and she enjoys being useful and seeing results, she's salt o the earth.

 

[gromit]

Why? What can we do better?

Haha from your blog I actually don't think I'd have the same issues with you professionally as other ones

 

[EJCC]

Haha from your blog I actually don't think I'd have the same issues with you professionally as other ones

Oh.

Okay then!

 

[Ene]

What do I think of ESTJs?

Well, it depends upon the ESTJ.

Here are some things that all the ones I know in real life have in common.

1. They seek to do a good job at whatever they are doing.
2. They have a definite right/wrong way to do things.
3. They are quick to survey the situation and make up their minds.
4. They can come across as bossy.
5. They are practical and mature, or well-balanced ones, will respond to logic when it is presented with confidence and rationale.
6. They look at the bottom line.
7. They often get misread by others as not caring.
8. They ACTUALLY DO CARE but it won't come across as warm and fuzzy. It comes across in practical ways.
9. I like mature ESTJs, immature ones can be a pill to deal with because they are always right.
10. They don't beat around the bush. They tell you what they really think. I think that's what I like most about them.

 

[RedAmazoneFriendZone]

ESTJ are too bossy for me, energetic, straight-forward, lack Fi so I'm not looking for them in my intimate life.

I've met one confirmed ESTJ, he was a hard worker but very manipulative, did not have real feelings, and what he was imagining to be some strenghts,

I could say it was to me some weaknesses. I don't see him anymore. He writes me every year to wish me a happy birthday but I don't give a damn,

he has been so very much cynical in the past... It seems money is very important to him, and eveything is planned in advance.

I remember when we were at the restaurant, he being very conformist and me anti-conformist.

My game was : making feel this guy ill-at-ease. I was successful at this ! His arrogance and manners peaced me off.


Of course I guess all ESTJ are not arrogant...

I've also learnt he was a kind of bully. I had the feeling he wanted to tame me. He was very controlling. I hate that.

 

[great_bay]

There's only two personalities I think when it comes to ESTJ.

8-6-3 The Justice Fighter

1-2-7w6 The good samaritan

I don't think of ESTJ as any other personalities.

 

[Arctic Hysteria]

Current partner is ESTJ e1

His strengths are, basically, everything that I don't possess. Focused, self-motivated, ambitious, career-driven, hard-working, conscientious, stable, straightforward, pragmatic.

I don't know about all of the ESTJs, but with this one, there are certainly type-related traits that I find unbearable at times.
Incredibly grumpy and fussy about small things is one. He'd expect everyone to put emotions aside to deal with practical matters no matter what, but sometimes cannot do that himself (but you don't get to point it out to him, nah ah!). Extremely critical and finger-pointing during arguments. Lacking of consideration for individuality and empathy. You're either "acceptable" and "appropriate" or "unacceptable" and "inappropriate" to him, I swear, If I could get 1 quid for every time he uses one of these words to approve or disapprove something I do/ don't do.

When INFP and ESTJ come together, things get rather interesting. Our cognitive function components are identical, but in exactly reversed orders.
Some of his values seem harsh to me at first, but it takes time for me to realise that he's right, and vice versa.

 

[OrangeAppled]

My ESTJ friend is efficient and logical and energetic, etc. He is also controlling and domineering and rigid.

He is a single dad (his ESFP ex cheated on him when he was deployed in the Iraq War and then divorced him when he got back.)

He is very wife hungry and has an endless string of attractive GFs, but none live up to his standards and strict rules. I am his relationship sounding board, but I will be sorry for his wife after he remarries.... he is completely clueless how controlling and manipulative he is.....

Such a great guy, but so clueless......

I know this ESTJ 1 at my church who is such a controlling grouch, and I think it's cuz he desperately needs to get laid. He is marriage hungry but doesnt know it.

There was this adorable "People's ENFP" ESFJ that he was smitten with, and she actually gave him the time of day, so we were all hopeful she'd take one for the team and the crab apple ESTJ might give us a few months of newlywedded bliss as a change of pace...

But then the moron went and blew it. I don't know how he blew it, but everyone knows it was him and not her.

Current partner is ESTJ e1

His strengths are, basically, everything that I don't possess. Focused, self-motivated, ambitious, career-driven, hard-working, conscientious, stable, straightforward, pragmatic.

I don't know about all of the ESTJs, but with this one, there are certainly type-related traits that I find unbearable at times.
Incredibly grumpy and fussy about small things is one. He'd expect everyone to put emotions aside to deal with practical matters no matter what, but sometimes cannot do that himself (but you don't get to point it out to him, nah ah!). Extremely critical and finger-pointing during arguments. Lacking of consideration for individuality and empathy. You're either "acceptable" and "appropriate" or "unacceptable" and "inappropriate" to him, I swear, If I could get 1 quid for every time he uses one of these words to approve or disapprove something I do/ don't do.

When INFP and ESTJ come together, things get rather interesting. Our cognitive function components are identical, but in exactly reversed orders.
Some of his values seem harsh to me at first, but it takes time for me to realise that he's right, and vice versa.

Haven't dated one, but this sums up my dynamic with every ESTJ 1.

 

[Obfuscate]

they are fine as long as they don't feel they have any authority over me... when they do it is fun to crumble the illusion of control that they hold dear... i find that level of organization exhausting, and would rather deal with chaos than their schedules and plans... they do seem to get shit done, and i appreciate that as long as i can keep my distance from the process... when they "respect" me, i like to talk to them and help them think out strategies... some of them can be very diplomatic, but often enough they are so confident that their ego can run rampant...

anyhow, (like any type) i can't give a blanket opinion about them... some are really cool people, but others i do my best to avoid...

 

[Arctic Hysteria]

they are fine as long as they don't feel they have any authority over me... when they do it is fun to crumble the illusion of control that they hold dear... i find that level of organization exhausting, and would rather deal with chaos than their schedules and plans... they do seem to get shit done, and i appreciate that as long as i can keep my distance from the process... when they "respect" me, i like to talk to them and help them think out strategies... some of them can be very diplomatic, but often enough they are so confident that their ego can run rampant...

anyhow, (like any type) i can't give a blanket opinion about them... some are really cool people, but others i do my best to avoid...

I swear I used to make fun of ESTJ (had not met one at that point).
I was dating a very introverted ISTJ at the time and we used to discuss how unbearable most ESTJs are, and some of the most annoying characters in films are ESTJ.

Well, now I'm with one.

 

[chubber]

I like ESTJs if they can accept themselves. I think male ESTJs probably do, while the female ESTJs have a hard time trying to fit in. They appear very hard and rash compared to male ESTJs. Maybe they are a product of society and society makes them feel like they should be more ladylike or whatever, so it seems they over compensate being overly male/TJ.

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

I appreciate ESTJ's.

I have liked them enough to boyfriend 2 of them. Pretty sure my current boss is ESTJ.

Very ambitious. High, high standards for themselves and will measure others by this standard. Can be materialistic and image driven (amplify this if E3).

Hard workers, dedicated. Willing to stand up for what is right against a lot of pressure (Fi).

Example: My ex was an LEO. Who lost his job because he wouldn't agree to go against another officer that was scapegoated for higher-ups error. He was let go because of this but he won his wrongful termination lawsuit.

When I asked why he didn't just say what they wanted him to say, he said, "but that isn't what happened."

Tendency to bulldoze others because they expect others to say "when" so if you don't say "when" it's your fault

Can be pedantic. Very reliable and protective of those they care about. They have a great sense of decency. Past all the bluff, they are solid. These are people you can count on.

Goofy humor. While never the life of the party they really enjoy living vicariously through others and genuinely enjoy seeing people have fun. They are great facilitators of fun. Not manufacturers.

 

[prplchknz]

they're nice unless they're jerks

which is the same for every other person of every other type.

 

[Tellenbach]

Very competent and result-oriented but also annoying because they think their way is the only way and they'll engage in back-seat driving type of advice giving that's not required nor desired but they can't seem to understand that. I'm just speaking from experience with 2 ESTJs so my analysis may be way off.

 

[LovecraftianMonstrosity]

A bit too conservative for my taste? Often I can be drawn to the females, but we tend to have a passionate good for a short time but not for a long time spark?

 

[that's not my name]

As long as I don't have to work with them they're fine, in a work situation they tend to be a little overbearing.

 

[Rebeka]

they are committed to what they do, reliable (they don't usually fail in their word), and responsible towards their behaviour (they take seriously what they say and in which moment they should say)m buuuuut! they are insensitive and judging and this make them to be kinda harsh and close-minded to me at least.