You misunderstood me. I wasn't claiming that these qualities don't influence one's life or perspective of the world. How could they not? I'm asking, to what extent, do those qualities factor into your sense of identity?
I don't see how these two concepts are exclusive. How do you not identify with the things that made you who you are? How do you not identify with the struggle of being a certain gender, either way it goes? It is impossible for me to say, "I don't identify as a woman" because being a woman is absolutely what has influenced much of my life. If someone asks me, "What makes you who you are?" I probably won't say, "Being a girl" because.. it's such an obvious answer that it doesn't really say much. People assume that's an influencing factor. What I would say is the specifics behind being a girl--whether I was a tomboy, or a girly girl, or whether my father approved of my antics and behaviors, whether my mother set a good example, etc.
But for me, personally, I put very little importance on those traits. If someone asked me to describe myself, or as a former classmate would say, "What are you about?" I don't think I would even reference my race, gender or citizenship because it doesn't really tell them anything about who I am as a person.
That's because those things are too obvious. When you're in a foreign country you can quickly sum up an entire concept by saying, "I'm a Texan." People have so many stereotypes about Texas that it's easier to weed out which you are/are not after you rule out the hundreds of other stereotypes out there. You can tell a lot about a person based on their gender, race, and nationality. Not everything, surely.. but even if you rebel against what your country stands for, who you're stereotypically suppose to be attracted to, or don't participate in your race's traditions, you can tell a LOT about a person based on those shallow vague bits of information. You can narrow a lot down.
Whereas, the way some people constantly talk about their gender, race or brag about how great their country is, you'd think they have no separate identity apart from those qualities, as if they were forged out of some kind of pre-determined mold. Also, heavily identifying with these impersonal factors leads to a lot of elitism, discrimination and bigotry in the world.
Sure. So does judging people that are proud of where they came from. How is it less of an identity, or a less valid identity, to say you're a Texan, proud of it, and do all the stereotypical Texan things you were raised around. How is it not an elitist attitude to say, "I think that people proud of their ethnicity and nationality have weaker, cookie cutter personalities in comparison to my unique identity markers." What do you have going for you that makes your shit better than the very fundamentals that mold everyone that passes through them forever?
It gives one a strong sense of tradition, acceptance, basis, and home. Those are pretty important things and aspects in a person growing up--and they stick with you. It may seem cookie cutter to you, but for many it's what separates them from the crowd. Anywhere I go in the world, people have an idea of what my unique home looks like because of where I came from. No matter where I go, or how odd the traditions are, even if I indulge in them.. I know people at home still understand where I'm coming from.
It isn't a weak, soul-crushing thing to love your home country. Or to embrace racial traditions. Or to enjoy being the gender you are. Infact, I would argue that these identities are stronger if they'd be crushed when they were stripped away. If you can say, "Oh, I'm no longer a guy. Oh well. Oh, I'm no longer considered a Mexican because there is no country of Mexico now. Fancy that..." chances are it wasn't a strong part of who you were at all. But I also think people who THINK they wouldn't be crushed by it are kidding themselves. People don't think they care that much about being something else.. but they don't realize that who they are is based largely on that sort of stuff. I would literally not even be the same person, with any of the same experiences or thought processes, if I changed something as drastic as my gender. If I was no longer a woman, and that ceased to be, it would be completely and utterly destroying to my personality. I'd suddenly be gay--or suddenly attracted to girls. My boyfriend wouldn't ever have been with me. I would have never met my best friend, which was a friendship initially born of attraction. None of it would be.
And I know that because the people who watch the countries they love fall apart have to live with that for the rest of their lives. People are still scared to say what gender they know in their heart they are because of how STRONG that sort of identity is for everyone. The fact that they create so many stereotypes, discriminatory elements, and elite attitudes is part of why they're strong influences in the first place.
I don't know you. Maybe you're one of the rare people who would literally just yawn and change your underwear at the store that day if you woke up magically a different gender. Or if you were suddenly black when you'd been white your whole life. Maybe not a single damn thing would have ever changed on you. But I'll eat my hat when I see that happen.