[Traditional Enneagram] Understanding Ennegram 7 w 6

[Abcdenfp]

• As a 7 w 6 -

i have begun to realize the following about myself (actually most of it was super spot on)

As Sevens are essentially afraid of being overpowered by negative states of mind, they seek their distraction in the external world and generally excel at multi-tasking and adventure seeking. They can frequently be counted on to bring energy and excitement to situations which have begun to grow stale. Sevens have the gift of sensing the potential in a situation, of seeing the ideal in the actual. One of the reasons that Sevens do this is that it serves to juice up their experience. Idealization, paradoxically, makes experience feel more real to Sevens. Here again, the mental nature of the type Seven fixation manifests itself. About this feature of enneatype Seven, Naranjo says: “It is possible to say that the optimistic attitude of type VII and the joyful mood that is habitual to them would not be possible without the operation of idealization in regard to the world in general and the more significant people in it. In relationship with others as in connection with oneself, optimism entails the suspension of criticality and blaming…”

In some key respects, the idealization process can prove beneficial, inspirational even, as others might very well be motivated to attempt to bring the actual situation closer to the ideal that the Seven is able to envisage. The Seven’s enthusiasm can prove contagious. On the downside, the idealization process can serve to distract the Seven from the reality of the situation and to undermine true intimacy in personal relationships. Insofar as the Seven is relating to an idealization of the partner, the real person remains unseen and the Seven essentially disengaged.

I am a big fantasy person and I would like to create more honest relationships not based on my idealization of a person. I guess trying to learn if other 7 w 6 . Have any experience in idealizing partners and situations.

i really do want to work in being an actualized healthy partner.

 

[GavinElster]

I think there are two options often taken: either see in something an ideal which it does not in fact meet, or come up with a justification that the ideal is in fact something simple and attainable. They're both options I can see a 7 taking.

If you find the first isn't so great, try the second. It's the same logic as saying that I'd rather not wait for some super-fancy gourmet meal once every so often, and have something simple that is delicious despite its simplicity, every day.

Ultimately, what the 7 is seeking is not to be disappointed, or denied. Part of that is what the mind considers ideal anyway. Basically, either change the ideal to fit down to earth reality or change reality to fit the ideal. You're suggesting you seem to do the latter in your mind, but that likely means you could swing the other way.

Now, both of these are strictly within type 7. Neither exhibits the integration to 5. The integration to 5 in the case of what you're talking about might involve an acknowledgement of scarcity in the present reality, rather than seeing abundance in it.

 

[Agent Washington]

Insofar as the Seven is relating to an idealization of the partner, the real person remains unseen and the Seven essentially disengaged.

I am a big fantasy person and I would like to create more honest relationships not based on my idealization of a person. I guess trying to learn if other 7 w 6 . Have any experience in idealizing partners and situations.

Yes.

Zizek is amazing when it comes to making sense of concepts that are couched in ridiculously extricate terminology. Go inwards and discover what it is that you are projecting, and own up to it.

 

[Abcdenfp]

Very awesomely insightful, sigh I'm noticing today that everything is pointing towards working to self realization.. road just got damn heavy. But I don't want to look at all the difficult things and I definetly have pain aversion.