[Traditional Enneagram] How does FEAR manifest and influence type 9?

[gromit]

Hm I think I kind of get the gist of what [MENTION=10082]Starry[/MENTION] and [MENTION=4050]ceecee[/MENTION] and [MENTION=5223]MDP2525[/MENTION] are saying, and I probably agree. Especially the timing and execution. And like scale.

Like, sometimes I think that's what I want most in a relationship, to be able to get outwardly mad at the other person and it be okay!

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

Hm I think I kind of get the gist of what [MENTION=10082]Starry[/MENTION] and [MENTION=4050]ceecee[/MENTION] and [MENTION=5223]MDP2525[/MENTION] are saying, and I probably agree. Especially the timing and execution. And like scale.

Like, sometimes I think that's what I want most in a relationship, to be able to get outwardly mad at the other person and it be okay!

As mellow and chill as my 9 friend is? Has more bar fights under his belt than I can count. Yet, he won't say a mean thing to a straight up asshole. Like, he has crazy patience with stuff like that. You'd almost say he was "bullying" material because he doesn't stand up for himself in certain ways most people do stand up for themselves.


He suppresses normal expression of anger, maybe because "it doesn't matter" but it does.

 

[Yuurei]

Basic Desire: to find union and peace
Basic Fear: of separation

Here's the loop

Fear of separation -> illusions of union -> accommodating -> union -> Fear of separation

In the unhealthy state, the basic fear of separation can cause Type Nines to delude themselves with illusions of union, which they sustain by ignoring reality and blindly accommodating others or the world. Unfortunately, this means they won't achieve true union, which further increases Nines' basic fear. The cycle continues to build up.

The manifestation is denial. This becomes the accommodation. It's amazing how they can justify things.

World View: My efforts won't matter to the world. It's best to keep the peace.

To be honest, I have never gotten to the bottom of what the "union" and "separation" really is. From a person? From the world as a whole? From themselves? I suppose it varies but I'm not even sure they always know.

This sounds about right. I have a very nine friend. She and I were part of a large group that used to hang out Friday nights.
After a while people started to drop off like flies. Eventually it became only her, myself and two painfully creepy guys -who were only in " the group" because they still held some pitiful hope they could get with us, she trued to hell to keep it together. I don't know why. I don't think she really understood why. We gained nothing by staying but dammit she was not going to let that group go.