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  1. #111
    ARMY fatgurl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturnal Snowqueen View Post
    I have this motto of, "I never order the same thing twice"(which is pretty true 90% of the time), and it's just so 7-9 of me. I feel like on of those rich girls on TV who say that they never wear the same thing twice. People ask each other what their "order" is, and I'm like, I don't have an order-I have some favorites but not so much I'll get them over and over. And even if I get it again, I have to make a slight moderation to it to make it not feel like I'm not ordering the same thing. All these possibilities, and you just buy the same thing over and over again? What the heckk.
    Loool I've been eating the same exact thing for lunch at school for over four years...
    Chronic "grass is always greener" syndrome
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  2. #112
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fatgurl View Post
    Loool I've been eating the same exact thing for lunch at school for over four years...
    i am not type 7 about meals at all. haha when i want greek food...i want a specific dish at a specific place...or thai etc etc....i have cravings for certain dishes and i always want that dish when i crave it. i don't have a broad desire for a kind of food and any dish will work. i do always want the whole spread tho...like several appetizers for the table etc...i like lots of different things to sample from
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
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  3. #113
    LL"s Atom Bomb Baby Saturnal Snowqueen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OneTriz View Post
    For types 2,7, and 9, do you guys find "Positive Outlook" a good description of how you feel? Personally I'm a double positive (749) and I don't find it a good description, I wouldn't describe it as me 'always seeing the bright side' but instead, me ignoring the bad side. If I were to describe how it manifests in myself, I would say it's more of an 'Emotionally Avoidant Outlook' thing. I ignore and don't think about emotions I dislike. Like to some people, I am cheerful but I've also gotten a "dude you're so depressing that you're actually making me anxious" from some. I guess that's the 4 fix, Lol.
    Same tri as ya, but different order. Yeah, I don't like the positive outlook label either. I mean, I am a pretty positive person for the short term, but for the long term I'm more a gloom and doom type of person. Even with all my positive outlook thinking, I don't think to myself, "Gotta think positive", more, "Let's be real here." I used to not like the phrase, "It is what it is" because it sounded so cliché and dry, but it does fit my style of thinking. "Emotionally avoidant" does fit me really well-my 4 fix does like me some darkness but it's like a controlled darkness. Like I can't have a whirlwind of rawness and negativity surrounding me, but I like sitting in a corner and reflecting on the soul-shattering parts of my life and how things have changed. Putting on the sad music to amplify things, also watching sad movies so I can immerse myself in their pain. If I stay positive in my day to day life, I know I can avoid absolute chaos, rage, things that turn my world upside down. I don't know what I'm going to brood about in the long term if I keep acting like that huehue, but some things are bound to happen. That's a very 9-ish way of positive outlook I think(and even fits their style of withdrawn triad), but as for 7 I do actively avoid boredom so I don't have any future regrets about not doing something, and to avoid stagnancy and empty yucky feelings. There's also some things I don't enjoy talking about because I don't like being reminded that they exist, and until I can become accustomed to the fact they exist I avoid it like the plague. I have such a mixed relationship with dark humor cause of that-I have a lot of trouble laughing along with dark humor these days because it's a reminder of things existing but then the 4 fix in me just drops some dark humor out of nowhere so I can get people to react to me.
    "Chaos is what killed the dinosaurs, darling."

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  4. #114
    LL"s Atom Bomb Baby Saturnal Snowqueen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fatgurl View Post
    Loool I've been eating the same exact thing for lunch at school for over four years...
    B-but why? Something sensory going on? Is it something you don't really think about experimenting with? What is it that you eat at school?

    I suppose you could call my behavior weird too though:

    Me: Wow this is one of the best things I've eaten in my life

    Also me: No thank you, I've never going to eat that again, nope

    @Lady_X yesssss, give me the whole smorgasbord. Makes me want continental breakfast.
    "Chaos is what killed the dinosaurs, darling."

    4w3-9w1-7w6 ○ RLUAI ○ Phlegmatic-Melancholic ○ FELV ○ Blood type B+ ○ Naturalist learning style ○ True Color Blue ○ Aries Sun ☀ Aquarius Moon ☽ Leo Rising ⤯
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  5. #115
    ARMY fatgurl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturnal Snowqueen View Post
    B-but why? Something sensory going on? Is it something you don't really think about experimenting with? What is it that you eat at school?

    I suppose you could call my behavior weird too though:

    Me: Wow this is one of the best things I've eaten in my life

    Also me: No thank you, I've never going to eat that again, nope
    They're called cheese patties. I just know that I'll like it and I'll eat food I like so much till I get sick of it. I'm pretty open-minded when it comes to trying new foods but I won't really do it when I'm eating alone, if I end up not liking it I'll be pretty upset. If I'm with someone and they're trying it then I will. Since it's a new experience with that person.
    Chronic "grass is always greener" syndrome
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  6. #116
    ϚᗩᑎᑕTᑌᗩᖇY Luminous's Avatar
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    So is not just group dynamics. Hudson says it's the "human capacity to connect with other human beings, to be focused on others, to even be aware of others." It's focusing on the other, while sx is focusing on whether there's energy. It's about reading others, attuning/adapting ourselves to them, caring about them, connecting, communicating, play, reciprocity, participating, contributing, belonging. The key here is that it can be with just ONE other. It can be with the person you have sex with. It can be with your kid. Or friend. Or the grocery store clerk. Or your dog. It doesn't have to be a group of more than two for social to apply.
    Be e..x..c..e..l..l..e..n..t to each other.
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  7. #117
    LL"s Atom Bomb Baby Saturnal Snowqueen's Avatar
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    I often wonder if I'm a 4w3 core who got traumatized into being a core 9. Like when I was younger, I didn't really fear conflict much, in fact I started it quite a lot. I wasn't scared of disappointing others, or to shake things up, as long as it meant getting what I want. Suppressing anger? Feel the heat. I wasn't even an optimist either, my only real optimism was the 7ish kind of liking to try something new. Then when my mom died and my life got better and I started realizing what a little twit I was, as well as being manipulated by others into being submissive, that's when I really started acting 9ish. When I started swallowing my anger, when conflict became frightening, when getting what I want was too much of a fuss. One of the reasons why I'm still not truly comfortable with 9 as a typing-pretty comfortable but I feel like if I didn't go through those sorts of things then my 4w3 would be at the center, and it's still a very strong force in my life but now my 4 and 9 are competing. When I was younger I wouldn't question if having no identity was my biggest fear or not, because I feared that long before I feared any of the 9 fears. But now, some days having no identity sounds the most scary and then other days the fear of separation sounds scarier. What if I had a therapist who "cured" me of my meekness and I became a full throttle 4 again? And I do think I go to 2 under stress....
    "Chaos is what killed the dinosaurs, darling."

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  8. #118
    Taking Brief blessblessblessblessbless Break RadicalDoubt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturnal Snowqueen View Post
    I often wonder if I'm a 4w3 core who got traumatized into being a core 9. Like when I was younger, I didn't really fear conflict much, in fact I started it quite a lot. I wasn't scared of disappointing others, or to shake things up, as long as it meant getting what I want. Suppressing anger? Feel the heat. I wasn't even an optimist either, my only real optimism was the 7ish kind of liking to try something new. Then when my mom died and my life got better and I started realizing what a little twit I was, as well as being manipulated by others into being submissive, that's when I really started acting 9ish. When I started swallowing my anger, when conflict became frightening, when getting what I want was too much of a fuss. One of the reasons why I'm still not truly comfortable with 9 as a typing-pretty comfortable but I feel like if I didn't go through those sorts of things then my 4w3 would be at the center, and it's still a very strong force in my life but now my 4 and 9 are competing. When I was younger I wouldn't question if having no identity was my biggest fear or not, because I feared that long before I feared any of the 9 fears. But now, some days having no identity sounds the most scary and then other days the fear of separation sounds scarier. What if I had a therapist who "cured" me of my meekness and I became a full throttle 4 again? And I do think I go to 2 under stress....
    I ran into a similar issue, recognizing myself as 9 was very difficult because as a child I was much more moralistic and even aggressive (honestly I think if I hadn't experienced trauma, I'd probably have been a 1w2 or 5w6/6w5 core and maybe so/sx considering how I was described in my youth). Realistically, looking at how human development works, "identity," primarily temperament and such is considered to be formed by 10 (give or take, considering when the upper limit of identity fracturing disorders are formed) and that identity is cultivated and developed through experience afterwards, with the largest parts of growing development being when you reach adulthood (at least at a biological standpoint, between 20-26 you hit the end of your "growth" at a neurological level give or take). Of course you can progress afterwards, but between 10 and then after the basic identity is defined, your major fears, interests, and personality traits are formed (I'm not ignoring the fluidity of personality after this but like... Neurologically speaking if I'm not mistaken major personality development outside of trauma related change is much more difficult and typically less dramatic because you've defined your core traits). This is a big reason people don't recommend typing yourself till you hit your 20s. A lot of people have pretty drastic personality shifts between like 12 and 17, so the fact that the younger you is far different than the current you is not shocking (although I'm sorry you had to go through terrible experiences that make you feel as if you did loose what you potentially could have become).

    Personally, I can relate a lot to disintegration to 7 and integration to 8 a lot; In part, I think it's because it does look kind of like my inta/disintegration paths already (ie. disintegration to 6 is still disintegration to a head type and gives me a lot of that mental, frantic energy; 8 and 3 integration are both about being more apt to engage with your impulses and assert your presence), but my 5 fix is quite prominent as well and competes with my 9 in a sense. Observing you (not to have a bias; I do think you are a 9 core as well, though I don't know you on a personal level, but especially my ending paragraph is not directed at you specifically), I think you could potentially run into the same problem with having a strong secondary fix with inta/disintegration lines that resemble their fix (ie. 6 and 2 are both compliant types which in unhealthy ways can be very vocal and attention seeking, 3 and 1 are both types which in health can be incredibly self realized, assertive, and strong in what they want and believe in).

    The positive outlook triad as well also gets a bad/innacurate rap, especially by those who become fixated on the "positive" aspect of that. The positive outlook triad is not that related to optimism and, especially combined with more exploratory types (ie. 4 and 5), are not even always evasive of heavy topics, especially those that aren't directly related to the self. I love gore, most of the stories I write are absolutely miserable and because I like to explore miserable subjects (but of course, I don't have a 4 fix, so I still avoid a lot of my emotions and especially initially was inclined to type as types which fit my ideal self, ie 5 and 6 and even 1). I can't even begin to tell you how many 9 cores I've come across who have identified as pessimists and have been strongly contemplative. Especially holding in emotion will leave the internal realm incredibly frustrated, heated, and critical, and shameful (but often in a way that specifically deviates from the heart triad version of shame).
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  9. #119
    Armchair Explorer Doctor Anaximander's Avatar
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  10. #120
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturnal Snowqueen View Post
    I have this motto of, "I never order the same thing twice"(which is pretty true 90% of the time), and it's just so 7-9 of me. I feel like on of those rich girls on TV who say that they never wear the same thing twice. People ask each other what their "order" is, and I'm like, I don't have an order-I have some favorites but not so much I'll get them over and over. And even if I get it again, I have to make a slight moderation to it to make it not feel like I'm not ordering the same thing. All these possibilities, and you just buy the same thing over and over again? What the heckk.
    549 -- When younger I basically honed in on a static menu of "what I like best" and then tended to not deviate but would also get bored and thus indecisive at times.

    As I got older, I now still have a "general favorites" menu in my head and often order from it, but it's also somewhat as common for me just to pick something new that sounds good in order expand my experiences. So instead of taking the "logical best" it's more about the "potentially rewarding" and "expanding my palette".
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