T
ThatGirl
Guest
I must admit I skipped most of the posts on this thread because BW came to offer his view again.. anyhow...
I see what you mean, basically, but as people have said you tend to focus on the negative side of feeling judgment. Other problem with what you said above is that you assume F-decision to have much to do with immediate situation. Mostly it is not about "what I want now". This would be immature. We actually do think the long term consequences. If I want cookies and I know where my friend keeps them, I will think that if I stole them, he will get mad when he finds out. So I don't steal them.
The selfish talk is also relevant to immature F, not all F. The "normal" F likes to see people happy. He likes this even more than his personal satisfaction in an immediate situation, that way he can give away most of his cookies just to make people smile.
On a longer time line the selfishness could be seen in F-plans. At least for me, my own life is the most important thing in the world. I want to be happy and so on. But this isn't the kind of selfishness that takes something away from people, since for me to be happy I also need some folks to like me. I need people, I cant offend them too badly. So the selfishness comes out seeming like unselfishness and caring. But if you stuck me in a situation that I feel unhappy (for example being stuck with a girl that isnt for me) I will consider my personal happiness to be the important thing, not other people's feelings.
I don't see why happiness is in the equation at all. happiness to me comes from within the self and is not swayed by external circumstances easily. Because you can not control the world it is best not to rely on things or situations for gratification. To me the world is separate from emotion which only exists with in myself. By putting that aside it gives a clearer view of how to handle situations for maximum efficiency. This includes putting aside the will to make people happy or to be self sacrificing which to me is martyr ish. It serves no purpose to anyone if everything is functioning to its capability.
On a side note I am not seeking factual statements only true perception and am also asking for the chance to challenge those perceptions while I open the floor for mine to be challenged as well. I was saying that if fact was what was called for then it was not mine to give. It would not make sense to seek fact on perception based scenarios. But I am a little tired of defending myself in order to soothe others misconceptions that they don't question but hold people accountable to. I played along for a while but that drives me crazy. So from here on out I will only listen no more comments from the peanut gallery. Just listen and learn.