What is the hardest thing about being a woman?

[Magnus]

Sadly some guys are highly resistant to this, even in this day and age.

Uh huh.

Of course, that would be a show stopper for me.

Oh, I can imagine.

 

[QueenBeech]

If I can just be completely honest, it’s having to deal with sexism from OTHER women. Like can we be real for a second? Very rarely have I met a sexist man. Like a GENUINELY sexist man, who goes beyond being an angry little boy on the internet, but rather a physical adult. Usually, when I deal with sexism in real life (which to me, is the only place where it matters, as any bitch can sit behind a computer screen and be rude), it’s from another woman. Typically an older one, or a “Christian” young woman who has a stick up her ass.

I’m loud. I say exactly what I’m thinking. I curse and drink like a sailor, and I will kick you in the genitals if you piss me off. Can I be overbearing? Of course. But I find I actually earn the respect of most men and have many as close friends. With women, however, I only have two that are close friends, and the others are nothing but difficult to deal with. I’m constantly told by other women to not be so bossy. That I need to be more feminine. That “a lady shouldn’t [insert harmless activity here]”.

So yeah. Hardest thing about being a woman? Dealing with sexism... From other women.

 

[Patches]

Applying eyeliner.

 

[Luminous]

It will never win you other dominant types, but among the submissive market it will up your standing between you and the other dominant females. There's one of two big cards to be played as early on in life as possible: discover who you're attracted to, and mold yourself into what they want, or mold yourself into what you want, and discover who is attracted to that.

Some people want a more egalitarian partnership, not a relationship with overt power dynamics.

 

[Luminous]

Picking up the fucking check for dinner once in a while, I imagine.

Perhaps these women prefer not to pay to feed trolls.

 

[Magnus]

Perhaps these women prefer not to pay to feed trolls.

And I prefer not to pay to feed cows.

Stalemate?

 

[1487610420]

And I prefer not to pay to feed cows.

Stalemate?

 

[1487610420]

Another thing that's hard about being a woman: Being boiled down to merely a receptacle in which new humans can form and an agent who ensures their survival. No importance beyond that. After 40, after your kids could survive on their own, you're worthless.



The idea that a woman just needs to be more responsible, accountable, and dominant in order to be valued for her character is false, both generally in my personal experience and backed by research. Just try being the one who outperforms most of the others in school, and who refuses to play a dumb bimbo who needs to be rescued in order to impress the boys. You'll not get very far in general. See this or this.

that's harsh

 

[anticlimatic]

Some people want a more egalitarian partnership, not a relationship with overt power dynamics.

No they don't. Some have been programmed to think they do, though. Also, it is very seldom overt except in conversations like this.

 

[Luminous]

that's harsh

The first paragraph? Yes. But it's the story the media and entertainment are fond of portraying. (Though I think that is getting better...)

 

[Luminous]

Mansplaining.

 

[LucieCat]

I feel that traditional stereotypes are challenging to this day, not to the extent they were in the past. But they are definitely there.

Also, women seem to be judged by different standards than men and are thought of as less intelligent and less competent in many fields. I find this frustrating as you can find such a wide variety of aptitudes among a gender.

Catcalling and random pick up lines on women who the initiator doesn't know just needs to stop. It doesn't make me uncomfortable necessarily, but I find it cringey and I will very openly roll my eyes at the person. This hasn't happened much to me, probably because I have the advantage of looking younger than my age.

I feel that, as a female, it's also very difficult for us to reject guys that we aren't interested in. For me, there's the added element that I hate causing pain and heartbreak, even if I can't help it, so I pretend to be extremely clueless and unable to read romantic intent (I've even acted like I thought a more romantic Valentine's Day card was platonic at one point)—I am trying to stop doing things like that as I think it just makes the pain worse.

But I feel that females are expected to just date any guy who is interested. Then you have the rare case where a man acts violently because of rejection, and people seem to put some sort of blame on the girls who wouldn't go out with him. To which I say, if a person reacts like that, they are not a safe individual to be linked with in a relationship to begin with.

 

[LucieCat]

If I can just be completely honest, it's having to deal with sexism from OTHER women. Like can we be real for a second? Very rarely have I met a sexist man. Like a GENUINELY sexist man, who goes beyond being an angry little boy on the internet, but rather a physical adult. Usually, when I deal with sexism in real life (which to me, is the only place where it matters, as any bitch can sit behind a computer screen and be rude), it's from another woman. Typically an older one, or a "Christian" young woman who has a stick up her ass.

I'm loud. I say exactly what I'm thinking. I curse and drink like a sailor, and I will kick you in the genitals if you piss me off. Can I be overbearing? Of course. But I find I actually earn the respect of most men and have many as close friends. With women, however, I only have two that are close friends, and the others are nothing but difficult to deal with. I'm constantly told by other women to not be so bossy. That I need to be more feminine. That "a lady shouldn't [insert harmless activity here]".

So yeah. Hardest thing about being a woman? Dealing with sexism... From other women.

Honestly, women can be the worst critics and attackers of other women. Most males you encounter day to day are not overtly sexist, especially among the younger generations. It makes my head spin, but it's true that women are downright nasty to other women at times. A lot of it comes from internalized misogyny. The massive amounts of double standards and internalized misogyny one sees are just purely alarming.

Interestingly, a lot of the strongest opponents of feminism have always been women. Albeit, some just don't like the movement's tactics, think you have to be pro-choice to be a feminist, and/or are just uneducated about what the term means. And I have to agree that some feminists take it too far, but that doesn't mean someone does not fundamentally support the idea that men and women should be viewed as equals in the eyes of the law.

The negative attitudes displayed by men towards females seem to mainly extend in the domain over over-sexualization in a derogatory fashion. Even then, I believe that's a (prevalent) minority.

 

[Luminous]

Bias in medicine...

 

[Coriolis]

And I prefer not to pay to feed cows.

Stalemate?

No. Win/win scenario. You save your money, and the women you might otherwise be with move on to better prospects.

No they don't. Some have been programmed to think they do, though. Also, it is very seldom overt except in conversations like this.

You have no basis for this blanket generalization. There is no reason to think that we come into this world with an inherent need for power games, or being taken advantage of. Those are the things that get programmed into us more often than not, and that programming historically has had significant gender bias.

Catcalling and random pick up lines on women who the initiator doesn't know just needs to stop. It doesn't make me uncomfortable necessarily, but I find it cringey and I will very openly roll my eyes at the person. This hasn't happened much to me, probably because I have the advantage of looking younger than my age.

I feel that, as a female, it's also very difficult for us to reject guys that we aren't interested in. For me, there's the added element that I hate causing pain and heartbreak, even if I can't help it, so I pretend to be extremely clueless and unable to read romantic intent (I've even acted like I thought a more romantic Valentine's Day card was platonic at one point)—I am trying to stop doing things like that as I think it just makes the pain worse.

I agree about the unsolicited attention. Creepy or not, it's just plain rude. The highlighted is on you, though (general "you" - anyone who behaves this way). If you can't respect your own limits, you can't expect anyone else to do so.

 

[anticlimatic]

You have no basis for this blanket generalization.

Charge Interactions

There is no reason to think that we come into this world with an inherent need for power games

I agree, especially the games part. I don't see it as being much about power at all, myself. Those dynamics are present but seem small and less significant than the other facets at work between people with more dominant or more submissive personalities. I think anyone who considers themselves egalitarian is already in camp submissive (not an insult).

 

[Luminous]

The highlighted is on you, though (general "you" - anyone who behaves this way). If you can't respect your own limits, you can't expect anyone else to do so.

Not wanting to hurt someone's feelings is not respecting your own limits?

 

[Luminous]

Honestly, women can be the worst critics and attackers of other women.

Yes, and I think in this thread in particular, there is no place for any women to disregard or judge what other women express as being difficult in their lives.

 

[Lark]

Mansplaining.

What is that? I've heard it said before but dismissed it as the latest ideological verbiage of a scene I want no part of, although given here's a chance to be more informed I'll ask what it means.

 

[digesthisickness]

On this thread: not being able to ban male responses thus making it readable.