For me it is an unconscious adaptation, and I am more aware of it at times than others. But I do relate to this post, the whole concept of being a chameleon. There are only rare times when I am not reading cues from the person I am talking to, modifying my mannerisms, and anticipating what they want from me. Again, I don't do this with any intention. It just happens. And it confused me for a long time why I seemed to adapt to the people around me instead of them adapting to me. I thought it was some kind of personality weakness on my part. Now, I feel happy to have the ability to relate to others on their level and bond this way.
I'm sure an observer (who also knows me as part of a one-to-one relationship) finds it confusing seeing me relating uniquely to others. When there's a whole bunch of people around it is hard for me to focus on only one person, one style. And any given individual might wonder why I seem a little ... different in the group than in person.
OF COURSE, this is not to say I don't have my own personality - still have a core of ME, that is fixed. I do. I just seem to be a shape-shifter!
*warning: inner geek about to be revealed*
Have you ever watched Star Trek TNG? If so, remember the
empathic metamorph from the
Perfect Mate episode? That's to an
extreme of course, but ... I can relate to the character. I feel like this is what I do.
Bronte, I get what you're saying here too:
I'm capable of this too and think its how i connect with people but also why connecting with people is tiring - a feeling of losing yourself.
I agree with this statement. This type of relating can be an energy-depleting exercise.