[Fe] FJs, describe Fe as you understand it

[elcie]

Why do Fe things matter to you? What does Fe feel like when it's at it's best for an Fe user? What do you think is the most important thing that would no longer be true if Fe were to disappear from tomorrow? What is the thing that you relate to least about Fi?

Comparing Fe with Fi - Fi users seem to me to be a lot more authentic - like they are so in touch with how they feel about you/the relationship...whereas I struggle with this, and I can be quite indiscriminate about who I'm nice to - I just want to be nice to everyone without thinking critically abt them at all, and hope they'll like me - it doesn't really work for me either because I'm not actually very good at being charming etc. and I don't get into other people's heads well at all. I'm trying to change, self awareness helps. Having said this there are a lot of FJ types who are authentic though I think - esp INFJs.

 

[entropie]

Comparing Fe with Fi - Fi users seem to me to be a lot more authentic - like they are so in touch with how they feel about you/the relationship...whereas I struggle with this, and I can be quite indiscriminate about who I'm nice to - I just want to be nice to everyone without thinking critically abt them at all, and hope they'll like me - it doesn't really work for me either because I'm not actually very good at being charming etc. and I don't get into other people's heads well at all. I'm trying to change, self awareness helps. Having said this there are a lot of FJ types who are authentic though I think - esp INFJs.

It's ok, here, noone is secure about him/herself. Thats why we are here

 

[Yama]

[MENTION=7254]Wind Up Rex[/MENTION] I actually think it would be a neat idea to have similar threads for each function, which calls upon people who value said function in the dom or aux position to describe how they interpret/experience that function for themselves. I think taking it to a person level and having multiple people's differing experience with said function describe what it's like for them can lead to a lot of neat new insights and information that "professionally-written" descriptions out there may not be able to cover.

 

[entropie]

^ I think she makes money with mbti, pretty convinced

 

[violet_crown]

Wtf are you talking about? I don't feel like an asshole for trying to dismiss whatever you're trying to say.

Speaking from my experience with Fi and the conversations that I've had with other Fi users, my understanding of the Fi perspective is that no subjective experience is inherently more valid than any other. I recognize that there's all kinds of reasons that I've come to the perspective that I hold and that someone else's experiences might lead them to a very different place. I may not agree with where they're at, but I don't feel it's my place to deny them whatever their truth is.

It's why TJs tend to rely on fact and objective experience: if any perspective is potentially true, then the only thing that makes one more valid than any other is the degree to which it adheres to reality. Now when it comes to facts. I'll definitely debate facts and shit on poor logic. I just don't know how you debate someone's feelings. What someone feels is what they feel.

Most times, it's actually more interesting for me to reconstruct how someone can arrive at a particular viewpoint than what the content of viewpoint actually is.

This is an important dialogue here and many of us have worked hard for it and want to keep it that way.

I don't know what this means.

 

[entropie]

Speaking from my experience with Fi and the conversations that I've had with other Fi users, my understanding of the Fi perspective is that no subjective experience is inherently more valid than any other. I recognize that there's all kinds of reasons that I've come to the perspective that I hold and that someone else's experiences might lead them to a very different place. I may not agree with where they're at, but I don't feel it's my place to deny them whatever their truth is.

It's why TJs tend to rely on fact and objective experience: if perspective is potentially true, then the only thing that makes one more valid than any other for us is the degree to which it adheres to reality.



I don't know what this means.

I'd be nothing without TJ-godnessing, I'ldnt even know if pants are head or legs

 

[Starry]

Speaking from my experience with Fi and the conversations that I've had with other Fi users, my understanding of the Fi perspective is that no subjective experience is inherently more valid than any other. I recognize that there's all kinds of reasons that I've come to the perspective that I hold and that someone else's experiences might lead them to a very different place. I may not agree with where they're at, but I don't feel it's my place to deny them whatever their truth is.

It's why TJs tend to rely on fact and objective experience: if any perspective is potentially true, then the only thing that makes one more valid than any other is the degree to which it adheres to reality. Now when it comes to facts. I'll definitely debate facts and shit on poor logic. I just don't know how you debate someone's feelings. What someone feels is what they feel.

Most times, it's actually more interesting for me to reconstruct how someone can arrive at a particular viewpoint than what the content of viewpoint actually is.



I don't know what this means.

You managed to do something I've actually never seen on this forum before wrt a discussion of Fe, which is to frame the discussion in such a way that most Fi users (whether they agree with what is being expressed or not) would feel like assholes for dismissing or shitting on whatever was being said.

If the first rule of Fi Fight Club is that you don't talk about Fi Fight Club, the second rule of Fi Fight Club is the sanctity of personal experience. Like, I may agree with nothing that's said, but if you say that's your truth and where you're coming from then its just as true and real as whatever point of contention I might raise about it.

Whether it was intentional or not it was pretty genius way around the stuff that typically derails these kinds of threads.

I don't see much of a connection between these two posts. And I sure the fuck don't appreciate your original insinuations with regards to Fi. As if Fi is looking for a way to shoot this shit down...but can't (or risks looking like an asshole). That's bullshit and facilitates nothing.

 

[entropie]

Ah cmon, granted. She is Fi last. That would be like me telling Tellenbach her Propaganda aint that sophisticated as she thinks. But you know as it is for girls. If you arent that much into feelings, they tell you you are abnormal. Its the same for boys who aint that much into not being into feeling. In both cases sheer brutality solves all the problemos of other people . I like her and I really think she wants to speak to you. Give her a chance. I would.

 

[violet_crown]

I don't see much of a connection between these two posts. And I sure the fuck don't appreciate your original insinuations with regards to Fi. As if Fi is looking for a way to shoot this shit down...but can't (or risks looking like an asshole). That's bullshit and facilitates nothing.

That's wasn't my point. You want to get combative over nothing--you're welcome to it. I'm not wasting time on this.

 

[Starry]

That's wasn't my point. You want to get combative over nothing--you're welcome to it. I'm not wasting time on this.

Good. Rise above it Rex.

 

[Zen_alpha]

I'm not an expert, but I think Fi is what "I" think is good for "me" and then execute "Te" based on that Fi "values".
On the other hand, Fe is what "I" know that is good for "you" and this is based on Ti "understood logic".

Maybe, that's why FJ tend to change decisions, but FP tend to stick to decisions. I noticed that my ESFJ friend tend to change his previous opinion to avoid conflict.
So, I thought maybe this has connection to the difference between me and him. I didn't like the fact that he changed his opinion for others, but that's him.

 

[Kullervo]

I'm not an expert, but I think Fi is what "I" think is good for "me" and then execute "Te" based on that Fi "values".
On the other hand, Fe is what "I" know that is good for "you" and this is based on Ti "understood logic".

This is why I'm a Fe user who looks like a Fi user. I am focused on what's good for everybody but my philosophy is very egocentric (i.e. by doing what's good for yourself, you ultimately benefit everyone).

Maybe, that's why FJ tend to change decisions, but FP tend to stick to decisions. I noticed that my ESFJ friend tend to change his previous opinion to avoid conflict.

There is a difference between backing down to diffuse conflict in the present (something I do often) and actually changing your mind after it has been formed (something I do very rarely). I am a very bad enemy because I have a lot more power than I like to make out to have, and will never, ever forget a wrong.

 

[Yama]

This is why I'm a Fe user who looks like a Fi user. I am focused on what's good for everybody but my philosophy is very egocentric (i.e. by doing what's good for yourself, you ultimately benefit everyone).

I always thought I was an Fe user who looks like an Fi user too, but then I realized I'm probably just an average Fe user and that it's the descriptions of Fe out there that are not so good, not my Fe. I took (well--I guess still take) it way too seriously for my own good. I'm starting to get tired of fighting the Good Fight when it comes to bad Fe descriptions and stereotypes most websites have.

There is a difference between backing down to diffuse conflict in the present (something I do often) and actually changing your mind after it has been formed (something I do very rarely).

Definitely!! Though I am also a 9 and phlegmatic-melancholic, so it may not be the same for all other FJs. But this is very true for me. I rarely ever change my mind/opinions, but may appear rather indifferent or like I am doing so sometimes because I'm just trying to stomp out any conflicts before they arise, as they make me very uncomfortable.

 

[Zen_alpha]

This is why I'm a Fe user who looks like a Fi user. I am focused on what's good for everybody but my philosophy is very egocentric (i.e. by doing what's good for yourself, you ultimately benefit everyone).



There is a difference between backing down to diffuse conflict in the present (something I do often) and actually changing your mind after it has been formed (something I do very rarely). I am a very bad enemy because I have a lot more power than I like to make out to have, and will never, ever forget a wrong.

You know, that's why this whole topic is interesting. The difference point is missing here. I though most FJ will act like my friend, but it seem that you are different. The interesting point is that you still follow the same "Fe" behavior.
Which makes me wonder if there is a missing link here. I hope some expert explains that.

 

[Kullervo]

I always thought I was an Fe user who looks like an Fi user too, but then I realized I'm probably just an average Fe user and that it's the descriptions of Fe out there that are not so good, not my Fe. I took (well--I guess still take) it way too seriously for my own good. I'm starting to get tired of fighting the Good Fight when it comes to bad Fe descriptions and stereotypes most websites have.

The descriptions of Fe appeal solely to Fe doms (especially Fe-Si). The truth is that a Fe user is basically someone who derives their emotions from what they have around them. The connotations of Fe are unhelpful and I suspect put a lot of people off their true type.

Definitely!! Though I am also a 9 and phlegmatic-melancholic, so it may not be the same for all other FJs. But this is very true for me. I rarely ever change my mind/opinions, but may appear rather indifferent or like I am doing so sometimes because I'm just trying to stomp out any conflicts before they arise, as they make me very uncomfortable.

I tend to intuitively...subconsciously almost decide whether to confront or acquiesce. It isn't a logical decision, whatever others may think. This is something I seem to naturally be able to assess, so if I've got into trouble (as an adult) often it's been when I've purposefully ignored my own intuition. My feelings in certain situations can be so strong that that inner voice, if you will, just gets swamped.

 

[Kullervo]

You know, that's why this whole topic is interesting. The difference point is missing here. I though most FJ will act like my friend, but it seem that you are different. The interesting point is that you still follow the same "Fe" behavior.
Which makes me wonder if there is a missing link here. I hope some expert explains that.

I am confusing because I use quite metaphorical, complex language (at least insofar as American English is concerned), can rationalize/explain my emotions easily and know how to debate. So, I often come across as an NTJ and due to my confrontations, a counterphobic Enneagram 6. You have to look quite carefully through my posts but I guess that is part of the fun. In a way it makes me sad, but in another satisfied that none of you seem capable of figuring me out...even when I am bored enough to give you hints.

Of course maybe I'm just leading you down a false trail on purpose. Or maybe I don't even know what I'm doing. Or something else? Maybe I'm just smoking something and laughing at the world with a hot chick between my balls. I can be whatever you want me to be. Imagine...

 

[Tilt]

It should be noted that I am a 3w4 SP/SX ENFJ so my Fe usage comes off rather blunt and direct compared to other subtypes.

I have been known to ruffle feathers to get certain objectives accomplished. In those situations, it's a question of how much collateral damage would I be willing to risk, if necessary.

 

[jixmixfix]

I find I'm over cautious and insecure about my Fe its really a pain in the ass.

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

[MENTION=7254]Wind Up Rex[/MENTION]

As an Fe inferior, I'd like to put my answers here for reference.

Why do Fe things matter to you? I don't know what an Fe thing is really. But it is important for me to not make a fool of myself socially or unknowingly insult someone or hurt their feelings.

What does Fe feel like when it's at it's best for an Fe user? I guess it can feel like a sense of being in tune with another person or group. Commraderie.

What do you think is the most important thing that would no longer be true if Fe were to disappear from tomorrow? What is the thing that you relate to least about Fi?

Hard question. I don't think you would see as much social grace within groups or organization. I'm pretty sure etiquette was invented by an Fe user.

I relate least to Fi - when Fi users feel personally insulted by dissenting opinions voiced to them. They take it internally. I can't relate to that. That may be a T/F tho but I notice it stands out to me more with Fi users as being a thing I notice.

 

[violet_crown]

I find I'm over cautious and insecure about my Fe its really a pain in the ass.

[MENTION=7254]Wind Up Rex[/MENTION]

As an Fe inferior, I'd like to put my answers here for reference.

Why do Fe things matter to you? I don't know what an Fe thing is really. But it is important for me to not make a fool of myself socially or unknowingly insult someone or hurt their feelings.

What does Fe feel like when it's at it's best for an Fe user? I guess it can feel like a sense of being in tune with another person or group. Commraderie.

I def relate to these descriptions as an inferior feeling user. It's like...you know it's there. You're not quite sure what to do with it, but it somehow makes the other things work better so you do what you can with it even though it makes you feel awkward af when you try to hard at it lol.

My interactions with STPs is that they're some of the most generous people that I know. Like if I got lost in the woods and stumbled upon some ISTP dudes cabin. He'd like, take me in, share his food, then help me back to the road and wouldn't thinking about it much one way or the other. Y'all manage to be decent people without making much of a fuss about being that way because it's just obviously the right thing to do.