I feel beside myself for 4-5 days before my periode starts.
It's a bit like being a hormonally challenged teenager again, I blow negative things way out of proportion. Minor disappointments with myself makes me loose confidence and feel like I'll never be happy again. Minor diasagreements with others make me paranoid, insecure or aggressive and I'll lash out or isolate. Minor physical disturbances like noise, traffic, weather, kids arguing or complaining make me feel the world is out to get me and I'll react with impatience and irritability. :steam:
On top of the unpleasant mental change, there's the general fatique, the bloated feeling, the greasy skin, the sore breasts and the craving for too much sweet stuff.
Yeah, I positively hate PMS. It's like being taken over by an alien force.
But the moment my period starts is such a relief. The pressure, both in body and mind, is immediately released and I know I can be myself for about 3 weeks again. Starting by apologising to the people I have lashed out on during PMS...
Since I'm not going to have more kids, I thought about going back to the Pill, but learned that the oestrogen is known to be a
depressant . The amount is usually so small that it doesn't affect most women, but for women who - like me - already have a tendency to depression (and naturally high levels of oestrogen) it can tip the balance into depression. So that's a no-go.
PS on Pill & Depression:
I don't know if it was a coincidence, but I had my first depressive episode when I was 14-16 years, and in those same years my doctor had prescribed a BC-pill called Diane to regulate my cycle from the unbearable 21 days to the normal 28.
I suppose they didn't know how much they were messing with the frail hormonal balance of a teenage body. Ouch.