Fe = Easily Offended?

[violet_crown]

Just wanted to add that I feel like mature Fi or Fe seems to get pissed off at the same things, even if their reasoning is different. Nobody who's really engaged with the world in a meaningful way is going to see something wrong and be like, "Well.:.is what it is. Hope you girls work it out!"

I feel like [MENTION=26674]theforsaken[/MENTION] was more interested in understanding the mechanics of how pretty different value systems can arrive at the same reaction, rather than pitting all the people in the NO, I CARE THE MOST!!!1111 Olympics 2016.

 

[Norrsken]

Just wanted to add that I feel like mature Fi or Fe seems to get pissed off at the same things, even if their reasoning is different. Nobody who's really engaged with the world in a meaningful way is going to see something wrong and be like, "Well.:.is what it is. Hope you girls work it out!"

I feel like [MENTION=26674]theforsaken[/MENTION] was more interested in understanding the mechanics of how pretty different value systems can arrive at the same reaction, rather than pitting all the people in the NO, I CARE THE MOST!!!1111 Olympics 2016.

THANK YOU, OMG.

 

[Reborn Relic]

The opposite, actually. I'm using the term "political correctness" in the sense of identity politics. Like, what kind of language do we use to respect groups who aren't our own.

My experience is that people who really buck at that concept tend to be Fe-users. An Fi-user who didn't feel like being PC wouldn't care about the taboo one way or the other. It goes back to what I was talking about re: disgust. Fe is more likely to care about the social pressure to follow that kind of speech, even if they don't agree with it, because they care more about the rejection/perceived disgust towards those who aren't PC.

This would seem to suggest taking offense, though, which contradicts what you were saying about offense vs. disgust.

I agree that Fe would be disgusted more often, but I think they can be both offended and disgusted, and it's the same with Fi. The question would turn back into the core difference between Fe and Fi, which is where the offense/disgust are coming from, and in terms of how loudly they express their judgements. For Fi there won't be any offense/disgust about problems they have no personal stake in, though the personal stake can be a sort of abstract, "if I were in their shoes" type deal, and an Fi won't feel as much need for other people to agree with them.

 

[violet_crown]

This would seem to suggest taking offense, though, which contradicts what you were saying about offense vs. disgust.

In what way? My argument was that Fe users care more about the "PC/un-PC" boundary more because they're more sensitive to being the object of disgust themselves. I don't see any contradiction there with previous points.

Unless this is a semantical point of "Well, the Fe user is clearly taking offense at being thought of as disgusting." In which case, sure, why not lol.

The question would turn back into the core difference between Fe and Fi, which is where the offense/disgust are coming from, and in terms of how loudly they express their judgements. For Fi there won't be any offense/disgust about problems they have no personal stake in, though the personal stake can be a sort of abstract, "if I were in their shoes" type deal, and an Fi won't feel as much need for other people to agree with them.

Yep. We're on the same page here. I discussed similar ideas in my second post.

Fi users assume some degree of empathy from everyone. If someone does something that they find personally upsetting, they figure that the other person KNOWS that that would upset them, and did it anyways. Offense is always personal.

Fe users, otoh, assume a level of standards--whether it be in terms of ethics, propriety or what have you. They assume some governing set of interaction for a given context, and those that violate those standards are no longer apart of that context. My observation of Fe users is that they seem to find those perpetrators abhorrent somehow.

 

[Reborn Relic]

In what way? My argument was that Fe users care more about the "PC/un-PC" boundary more because they're more sensitive to being the object of disgust themselves. I don't see any contradiction there with previous points.

Unless this is a semantical point of "Well, the Fe user is clearly taking offense at being thought of as disgusting." In which case, sure, why not lol.

The bottom line is I'm bored and want to say something here.

Also I misunderstood the point you were making to be that Fe users aren't concerned about slights against themselves so much as slights against other people, which turned out to be inaccurate. XD

Yep. We're on the same page here. I discussed similar ideas in my second post.

Sorry about that. XD

 

[violet_crown]

The bottom line is I'm bored and want to say something here.

Also I misunderstood the point you were making to be that Fe users aren't concerned about slights against themselves so much as slights against other people, which turned out to be inaccurate. XD

Unacceptable. No one has any time for opinions on an internet forum!!

Sorry about that. XD

Honestly, extraverted feeling is a mystery to me. I do know certain things piss of Fe users in a way and for reasons that aren't intuitive to me. As someone who is Fi, it's always a shock to remember other people have whole other world views that have absolutely nothing to do with me.

Do you think Fe is more sensitive to offense (however you define it) than Fi is?

 

[Norrsken]

Do you think Fe is more sensitive to offense (however you define it) than Fi is?

This is so hard for me to answer and this is why I made this thread in the first place. ;p

As a Fe user, I am definitely disgusted and offended in situations where I know that other people are affected in ways that hurt their feelings and when social protocols are trampled on. I cannot stand rude people, for example, because they hurt everyone around them and I won't stand for it. A Fi user may express the same disgust as I do, but they can also see from the other person's shoes more readily than I can. I know my ENFP husband does that a lot and I just keep steaming from my ears at how horrible the other person is acting, in a very judgy-wudgy-was-a-bear way.

 

[violet_crown]

This is so hard for me to answer and this is why I made this thread in the first place. ;p

As a Fe user, I am definitely disgusted and offended in situations where I know that other people are affected in ways that hurt their feelings and when social protocols are trampled on. I cannot stand rude people, for example, because they hurt everyone around them and I won't stand for it. A Fi user may express the same disgust as I do, but they can also see from the other person's shoes more readily than I can. I know my ENFP husband does that a lot and I just keep steaming from my ears at how horrible the other person is acting, in a very judgy-wudgy-was-a-bear way.

Ok, question: would you get offended by "victim-less" rude behavior. I think most people have that friend who can be sort of unpleasant, and no one takes it any kind of way because that's just who they are.

 

[Reborn Relic]

Unacceptable. No one has any time for opinions on an internet forum!!

Srsnote real quick, one could actually make the argument that people's quickness to want to have something to say online is actually bad for society as a whole, but fukkit.

Never was a fan of that particular brand of idealism anyway. Not because it's idealistic, but because it's demanding. Jebus.

Also, I think i tends to hate PC culture a little bit more than Fi/Te because Ti is a stickler for consistency. A dom Ti type won't ever feel able to cut loose from a PC ideology assuming it uses the right rhetoric, whereas Fi/Tes I feel are much more comfortable with being a little bit hypocritical or contradictory in their behavior, and therefore wouldn't feel as burdened by such an ideology--though Fi would probably be more comfortable with that than Te.

Honestly, extraverted feeling is a mystery to me. I do know certain things piss of Fe users in a way and for reasons that aren't intuitive to me. As someone who is Fi, it's always a shock to remember other people have whole other world views that have absolutely nothing to do with me.

Do you think Fe is more sensitive to offense (however you define it) than Fi is?[/QUOTE]

By the way I would define it, I'd say that the types can be offended equally easily assuming F>T in both. Assuming T>F, I'd say Ti types offend more easily than Te types in many ways. But, by your definition a lot of Fe offense would be offense at disgust more than offense. So...

 

[Norrsken]

Ok, question: would you get offended by "victim-less" rude behavior. I think most people have that friend who can be sort of unpleasant, and no one takes it any kind of way because that's just who they are.

I won't be offended by that friend, no, but I would keep a bit of distance and hang around with more positive people.
It definitely depends on why they are unpleasant. Are they moody in general? Then I can handle it, for the most part.
I'm already prone to melancholy in myself, so I can't add another unpleasant person around me or else.. yeah. :/

 

[ceecee]

I think most people have that friend who can be sort of unpleasant, and no one takes it any kind of way because that's just who they are.

Yeah I think this is usually true. I mean you could always keep a roll of duct tape handy for when they go off the rails but, not much else.

 

[violet_crown]

I won't be offended by that friend, no, but I would keep a bit of distance and hang around with more positive people.
It definitely depends on why they are unpleasant. Are they moody in general? Then I can handle it, for the most part.
I'm already prone to melancholy in myself, so I can't add another unpleasant person around me or else.. yeah. :/

That makes sense, and I can relate to what you've said here. I think there's a tendency to put a certain amount of rigidity on Je types that's not necessarily there. I know I catch that a lot in debates as a Te-dom, but I guess I hadn't figured Fe users would get it in quite the same way, simply because diplomacy is one of you guy's superpowers.

I know when it comes to certain things for me, Te wants to clamp down on a certain amount of confusion simply because I don't care for the uncertainty. I don't like mess. It's like, there's how I think things ought to be, and the recognition of how things actually are. And that conflict within myself as I integrate the new information can come out outwardly as well. It makes me wonder how much of "offense" in Fe-users is just a different version of the same thing. Like, there could be instances where someone who prefers extraverted feeling, rejects something or has a strong adverse reaction to it simply because they don't want to sort through the mess that complication would cause.

Yeah I think this is usually true. I mean you could always keep a roll of duct tape handy for when they go off the rails but, not much else.

I was watching a show recently where someone used duct tape to close up an interdimensional rift. I think I want duct tape to be president.

 

[Tilt]

That makes sense, and I can relate to what you've said here. I think there's a tendency to put a certain amount of rigidity on Je types that's not necessarily there. I know I catch that a lot in debates as a Te-dom, but I guess I hadn't figured Fe users would get it in quite the same way, simply because diplomacy is one of you guy's superpowers.

I know when it comes to certain things for me, Te wants to clamp down on a certain amount of confusion simply because I don't care for the uncertainty. I don't like mess. It's like, there's how I think things ought to be, and the recognition of how things actually are. And that conflict within myself as I integrate the new information can come out outwardly as well. It makes me wonder how much of "offense" in Fe-users is just a different version of the same thing. Like, there could be instances where someone who prefers extraverted feeling, rejects something or has a strong adverse reaction to it simply because they don't want to sort through the mess that complication would cause.




I was watching a show recently where someone used duct tape to close up an interdimensional rift. I think I want duct tape to be president.

Yes. My Fe isn't all that "offended" persay. I feel more annoyed/angry than anything else when things don't line up to my expectations. I am not really politically correct but I guess I have a social script for the things I value most. Funnily enough, it's usually other Fe doms who annoy me the most in this type of instance because I feel stressed and under pressure when I can't figure out their unique, individualized set of rules... I clash hard with many e2 Fe doms, and get along best with e3 Fe doms.

 

[Reborn Relic]

Yes. My Fe isn't all that "offended" persay. I feel more annoyed/angry than anything else when things don't line up to my expectations. I am not really politically correct but I guess I have a social script for the things I value most. Funnily enough, it's usually other Fe doms who annoy me the most in this type of instance because I feel stressed and under pressure when I can't figure out their unique, individualized set of rules... I clash hard with many e2 Fe doms, and get along best with e3 Fe doms.

Out of curiousity, did you mistype as ENTJ at any point, and if so how did you come out of it?

If not, I guess "how do you know you aren't an ENTJ" or something.

 

[Tilt]

Out of curiousity, did you mistype as ENTJ at any point, and if so how did you come out of it?

If not, I guess "how do you know you aren't an ENTJ" or something.

I tried it on for a couple of weeks. I figure that I am Fe because I factor in how other people would react into most of my decisions. And I put a lot of energy into how my relationships are functioning at any given point in time.

To add, the reactive disintegration of e2 into e8 when a person feels slighted puts me on edge. I am never quite sure if I am going to get screwed over not for not living up to an e2 Fe dom's expectations...

 

[geedoenfj]

I'm offended by this thread
If someone really pushing me, I can get offended and fight back, other than that, I stay more rational and calm I guess..

 

[Yama]

I think when I'm upset by something it's because I take it personally even if it's not directed at me

 

[Forever]

I don't get "upset" but people who look at you and then don't hold the door up can get this up their ass:

In my experience:

Men just do the I don't care look.

Women do it more sinister, I will slide and let it shut as soon as it can so you have to pull it back right from the start.

Pretty much the "I don't know, but I want to make your day suck just because it's unconscious aggression transferred toward me to other daily social injustices I have had inflicted on me, so I can justify it by being rude to others that have nothing to do with it because the world sucks and I am God because I'm more special."

 

[Norrsken]

[MENTION=19719]Forever[/MENTION]
Somebody didn't hold the door open for you today, didn't they?

 

[Forever]

[MENTION=19719]Forever[/MENTION]
Somebody didn't hold the door open for you today, didn't they?

Haha wasn't today, well I still had to open a door, but it was.. let's just say non-applicable because no one was there lol. I mean older people might have an excuse like they have arthritis and it hurts them that bad. But young people who can push that door with youthful vigilance. That is so not right lol.

It's so awkward to confront them like: "Why didn't you hold the door, you little punk ass bitch?" They can make an easy excuse like "Erm.. what? I didn't notice." or "Yeah, so?" I'm like "Be polite. "

Then if they still don't cooperate, I can just take them out with a silencer. I'm feeling a little bit dark today, I mean take them out to dinner and then they will learn what a nice guy I was.