My Fe is terrible, and my Fi is very strong and self-centered. To strengthen my Fe, I like reading about traditionally Fe-oriented activities or professions (networking, sales, conversational skills) and picking up little tidbits for consumption and practice.
I don’t know if it’s “Fe at its best,†but little tricks that may be automatic to Fe-users are often a big revelation to me (an Fi-Dom). For example:
I noticed that an ESFJ acquaintance always had an innate sense of when it was time to leave. Whether we were at a bar, on a visit to family or friends, or whatever. He knew just the right point where we had stayed long enough to fulfill a social obligation but also that it was time to move on before things got dull.
It’s a small thing, but it can be a nightmare for people without that facility. For many years, any social visit always posed the same annoying problems for me: Have I stayed long enough that I can leave without being insulting? Am I being a burden by overstaying? My host keeps coming up with excuses to keep me here; he won’t let me leave--how do I get out of here without offending?
After seeing my Fe-user friends deal with such problems so effortlessly, I realized that I was just being too nuts about it. So before minor social visits, I started setting my watch alarm to go off 45 minutes after arriving. When the alarm goes off I apologize for the interruption but explain that I have other errands to do, and I’m on my way.
For so many years I struggled with all kinds of social questions: Shyness, introductions, topics of conversation, how to deal with people who complain about personal problems, how to deal with disagreements, etc. Then I started paying more attention to my Fe-user acquaintances, and now I have all kinds of notes and reminders for how to deal with certain people and certain situations. (Some of the tricks and tidbits shade over into Se and some of them shade over into Te.)
But the point is that Fe is naturally good with people. With a little study, it’s possible for even non-Fe users to come up with reasonable facsimiles or substitutes for Fe behaviors. As a result, Fe-users have become my personal gurus, and I’ve become much more comfortable engaging in social interactions on a regular basis.
People and relationships are important IRL. You can’t avoid them forever, and you can’t run scared of them. Gotta love that Fe for simplifying those things and demonstrating how to deal with them.