tony_goth
Pseudo-delusional Rebel
- Joined
- Sep 18, 2018
- Messages
- 225
- MBTI Type
- ENFJ
- Enneagram
- 487
- Instinctual Variant
- sx
Many people, especially those who suffer from shyness or excessive people-pleasing, will think "I wish I was more assertive".
Even people who've got average to high assertiveness think it's an absolute and ultimate value.
Here is my point of view :
Generally, it's the best not to show extremely low or high degrees of assertiveness, "extremely high" being the worst.
Basically because "assertiveness", I think, is "willingness to take risks".
And when you take a risk of a loss, you may be proud of yourself in the moment, but when the risk of loss becomes a certain loss, it HURTS. Period.
I knew countless "pushy" people who had been in relationship-related or social troubles, and who ended up lonely and withdrawn. Striving against shyness or excess of adaptation to people is fine. But seeking pushiness for itself may get you hurt in some way. Risks should be taken in a calculated and rational way, because emotionally-based risk-taking is usually a gamble. And gamblers know you might win sometimes, but on the long-term you lose all your money.
There are some lifestyles that do require being pushy (i.e. higher tolerance to risk), but even in those cases, risks should still be rationally measured, even approximately and/or quickly if appropriate. And in most cases these people should not imitated, and imitating their stereotypes is even worse.
The more you're aggressive the more you're likely to get incarcerated or face other kinds of penalties.
Do not be a fool.
Even people who've got average to high assertiveness think it's an absolute and ultimate value.
Here is my point of view :
Generally, it's the best not to show extremely low or high degrees of assertiveness, "extremely high" being the worst.
Basically because "assertiveness", I think, is "willingness to take risks".
And when you take a risk of a loss, you may be proud of yourself in the moment, but when the risk of loss becomes a certain loss, it HURTS. Period.
I knew countless "pushy" people who had been in relationship-related or social troubles, and who ended up lonely and withdrawn. Striving against shyness or excess of adaptation to people is fine. But seeking pushiness for itself may get you hurt in some way. Risks should be taken in a calculated and rational way, because emotionally-based risk-taking is usually a gamble. And gamblers know you might win sometimes, but on the long-term you lose all your money.
There are some lifestyles that do require being pushy (i.e. higher tolerance to risk), but even in those cases, risks should still be rationally measured, even approximately and/or quickly if appropriate. And in most cases these people should not imitated, and imitating their stereotypes is even worse.
The more you're aggressive the more you're likely to get incarcerated or face other kinds of penalties.
Do not be a fool.