it just depends on where you're at, what your needs are, and what work you want to do.
this is only my generalization, but as an infj male myself, i think we almost require emotionally intelligent women. infps often, to me, seem better in this respect. a bit more individualistic. we seem to require a quality of sharing that is probably as intense and complete as any type.
i do, personally, also emphasize a kind of equality. not sameness, but the worst thing in the world is to watch wasted potential or arrested development. my gender sense, while not totally fluid, will almost always bend enough to appreciate strengths regardless of sex or expectation.
i also know that for me, a sense of shared mission is the biggest commitment factor. finding that balance between simply enjoying the journey and seeking a kind of destiny, a deep aim, a lasting purpose, is a huge challenge for me with exxp. it requires both sides being willing to give up their habitual ways of coping, at times, and allowing the other to lead sometimes. our cognitive fundamentalisms are deeply ingrained.
a more independent, socially oriented, competition driven efj 3 or 1 might make a lot of sense if you want to enjoy charm and social grace and warmth without having to really get to the soft underbelly of anything and truly be vulnerable. i know that without this, an infj will not thrive.
but for me, at least, i do know too that i have many moments of simply stalling, spinning my tires, waffling. i can become slow to act, often not out of wisdom but out of a deeper kind of conservatism and slowness that has more to do with needing to wake up to the moment and OWN it than to a real recognition of something being problematic. for me, separating myself from what i assume about reality so that i can face my own experience directly is an ongoing and quite young practice, one that i have to work on in order to respect my own choice (and the need for it to be timely and responsive and committed to a longer path of consequences) than sometimes i am in that moment ready to do.