To be completely honest...
It's scary, upsetting, and it makes me cry. I just want to live peacefully. Another big reason for me is that I don't want to be hated. I can't stand the thought of being on someone's shit list. Sometimes this conflicts with my need to change the world and champion my chosen causes. I speak up for what I believe in, but then when people get mad, I spend a great deal of energy backtracking and trying to find the common ground somehow, all while trying to stand my ground. It's very draining. I just don't want to be an enemy to anyone, and I don't enjoy chaos. So I'm basically known as the nice, sweet girl because I stay away from strong controversy, and I avoid insulting others because I don't want their disapproval.
But I'm not a complete doormat. I stand up for myself and my beliefs, and I can even be forceful and sarcastic if the offense is heinous enough. Usually, though, I go out of my way to be extra nice to the person I've had conflict with in order to affirm that we're not enemies, to assure myself that things are okay and that I won't have to deal with the stress of having an enemy. I'm still learning.
Anyways. Didn't mean to make this all about me again.