- It can be weird, and slightly disconcerting interacting with lots of people who you know perceive you as a bit shallow and overbearing. Honestly, it can make me feel a bit self conscious. I definitely feel pressure to not act according to the stereotypes.
- I actually get along with them quite well. One of my very good friends is an INTP. We have some very interesting conversations since he sees basically everything differently then I do. Our relationship has definitely been a learning experience for me. I love talking about feelings. It comes so naturally. He avoids it at all costs and sometimes it drives me crazy. I've just had to learn that people need different things.
Really CapLawyer? Wouldn't it have just been easier to go to the ESFJ hate thread rather than post a long list of reasons you don't like ESFJs worded as questions? Actually, most of them aren't even questions, they're accusations with questions marks. So, just a warning, a lot of my answers are just going to be corrections of your false perceptions. I apologize in advance for the sass.
- I like that they are contemplative and think deeply about things. I like that the one I know is a very good listener. I like that their slightly twisted sense of humor, and ability to be apathetic about things that really aren't that important.
- I dislike that I have to play games to get to know them and earn their trust.
[*]Can you explain this annoying trend I keep noticing where ESFJs think they are better than INTPs?
- No, I can't. I think I am better at some things than INTPs, but I also think INTPs are better at some things than I am.
[*]Can you explain why I keep noticing that ESFJs sees every fault of an INTP (whether real or imagined) as insufferable and unacceptable, while thinking their own faults should be tolerated and accepted (or while thinking they are perfect and have the right point of view on everything)?
- Nope. Everyone has faults.
[*]What's with the sex thing? I hear that after any little squabble, or after any perceived slight (usually imagined) ESFJs stop "putting out" as a retaliatory mechanism.
- I've never been sexually active, but when I am upset with people I typically want distance from them. Sex is basically the opposite of distance.
[*]Why does everything become something that offends you or that you see as a slight?
- Are you seriously implying that ESFJs are offended by everything? That's just absurd.
[*]Why do you say nice things to people, then talk shit about them behind their back?
- Why does anybody do that? I don't think this is an ESFJ thing. Literally almost every female I've ever met does this. Probably because it's not socially acceptable to say rude things to their face. I don't think ESFJs do this any more than any other type. In fact, my INTP friend does this quite a bit.
[*]Why are you so convinced that your way is the correct way, even when proven wrong?
- Maybe your "proof" is not sufficient for them?
[*]Do you think there is something wrong with overreacting, or reacting to things so emotionally?
- The word "overreacting" is highly subjective.
[*]Why do you so strongly believe things should be done in a certain way, while showing very little flexibility even when you end up being wrong?
- I do things the way that seems most efficient to me, if you can show my your way is more efficient then I will probably change the way I do it.
[*]Why would you annoy and try to get an introvert to socialize more, or think something is wrong with them because they don't? Why would you continue doing this even after reading about and supposedly understanding who they are?
- I wouldn't. I live with 4 introverts, I know they need alone time and don't enjoy social situations as much as I do. When they tell me they want to do something by themselves I back off and let them.
[*]What personality type have you gotten along best with?
- I really like INFs and other SFJs.
[*]Do you get along with other guardians, like ISTJs?
- No, I don't. I have a very hard time STJs. My dad is an ESTJ, and my grandfather and youngest brothers are ISTJs. I find them harsh, uncompassionate, and unable to see past the surface of complicated issues.
[*]Where have you noticed emotional strength/resiliency?
- In myself? In the world?
[*]What does intimacy mean to you?
- I think honesty and transparency are a huge part of intimacy to me.
[*]Do you think INTPs enjoy your "showering" of Fe? Do you back off when they tell you or it becomes obvious that they are uncomfortable, or do you shower them with it to watch them become annoyed, miserable, and uncomfortable?
- I think sometimes they do, otherwise they wouldn't seek it out occasionally. But, I do my best to back off before becoming intrusive. I would like to think I don't make my friend miserable.
[*]Do you have an agenda with everything you do?
- I have a purpose for everything I do.
[*]How open-minded are you? Has anything caused you to become more open-minded (if so, then what)?
- Again, "open-minded" is extremely subjective. I try to see all sides of an issue before I make a judgement about it. I have been told by multiple IN types that I am good at this.
[*]Why are you so controlling and sometimes rigid (especially when you know you should lay off)? What's going through your mind when you flare up and start becoming so?
- If this happens it's because I fear something that it important to me is being messed up or done improperly.
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