HollyGolightly
New member
- Joined
- Nov 29, 2009
- Messages
- 293
- MBTI Type
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 1w2
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/so
As a Fe user I'm offended when somebody doesn't have any manners and when they just say what they think (in a tactless way), especially if I don't know them (if I know them and know that their heart is in the right place I can forgive them for being a bit blunt etc). I feel like they aren't trying to be a part of the social group and don't care about how they are making other people feel. I am offended when someone appears to not be making any effort. The kind of things I say are intended to make everyone feel included and when someone isn't really making that effort it really winds me up. At work they are hostile towards new people or completely indifferent whereas I go the extra mile to make them feel part of the group and sometimes I feel like scolding my co-workers "how would you feel? you were new once? give them a chance" etc. I didn't realise I felt this way until I started studying the functions and I have noticed these feelings are more prevalent when I am with my ENFJ mom or with other fe users, especially fe doms. On the flip side, I suppose my behaviour and communication could be annoying...in fact I'm sure it is...as I sugar coat things and I don't say what I mean. I modify my behaviour to what I feel is appropriate and Fi users, such as my ENFP sister, find this really annoying as I am being inauthentic. She is troubled that I am not troubled that I am being inauthentic (genuinely not bothered most of the time. If it makes other people happy and social interaction run more smoothly I will happily and often times automatically do it). She will say things like "you don't normally say that/you don't normally act like this." As I mentioned about manners, I am extremely polite...maybe too much. I'm always saying sorry or thank you LOL. When someone else doesn't say thank you or sorry when I think they perhaps should I get a little twinge of a feeling that I don't quite understand...dunno what to call it...let's call it uptight bitch It's probably disapproval or disappointment. I dunno. I don't show this outwardly of course...that would be impolite I'm also secretly offended when people are indifferent to me when I am really trying. Like purposely giving one word answers. PLEASE LOVE ME. PLEASE TALK TO ME. PLEASE.