ouoh! what is this? i don't understand any of this. can an INFJ (or [MENTION=5999]PeaceBaby[/MENTION]) explain? And is it also the line of thought of ENFJs!?
A specific example might be that if you want feedback about why some INFJ you know did such-and-such, it’s most effective to post, “I’m having this problem with an INFJ I know (or “a couple of INFJs I knowâ€), can anyone help me understand why this is happening?â€
If you post it as though you’re presenting some theory (e.g. “INFJs do this because their Ni _____ and their Fe ___, etc.â€) as if it applies to all, then we’ll be too distracted by the SYSTEM ERROR flashing through our mind to actually be able to see any truth in what you’re saying. We will nitpick that mofo to death, explaining why it does not apply to all and why it is not an objective assessment- not to invalidate the feeling behind it (which is how it seems to get interpreted) but just to get rid of the SYSTEM ERROR message in our own heads.
In short- if you’re venting, that needs to be made clear (not sure “venting†is the right word, but it’s the best one I can come up with just now). Presenting a theory as if it’s ‘objective’ means that it would need to be objective (e.g. someone studying the functions without some aim of sorting out personal feelings)- it can’t be fueled by some emotional charge or we sense that and it trips us up. It needs to be presented as sorting out personal feelings if that’s what it is.
[If you want to see this in action, you need look no farther than the doorslam thread….
or this one, which is probably the one Southern Kross is talking about.]
I do see this a bit in the ENFJs I know, but it isn’t as pronounced. I’ll just see them shrink back a bit because a mental note has been made that something isn’t adding up. [Though they can certainly answer to that better than I could.]
eta: I should note that I personally would be fine with hearing the whole "Ni does ___ and Fe does ____" if a disclaimer is added and it's explicitly stated that you're trying to work through personal issues with an NFJ and you want to know if the theory resonates. (I should probably add that even beyond that, I still need for things to be phrased "it seems like" and/or "it appear as though" instead of having it stated declaratively- or it will still trip me up.) Without that clear disclaimer though, I sense the charged emotion and can't get past it. It should be noted that I have no idea how much this applies to SFJs (though I suspect it would be somewhat the same).
eta: It's also worth mentioning, this is a conclusion the INFJs in this forum reached. It's always possible this forum draws in a certain kind of INFJ and that this isn't as widely applicable as it may seem.