I thought my black hole was rather apt.
typically the threads start off a bit loaded with value judgments honestly.
Presumptious Fi
Why are Fi users so Selfish
Why are Fe users so manipulative
Controlling Fe
The first time you see this, it takes you by surprise because from the internal perspective the motives/intent/purpose are not matching with the external judgment made by the other half of your behavior. The communication barrier across the two halves gives rise to incorrect value jugdements on both sides.
Selfish Fi? Why are all Fi users so selfish? I am not selfish! As Jock said, there is an identification with the function, thus the attack feels as though it is against us an individual. I avoided these wars as everytime I felt this, I would step back and then return with questions about the specific behavior observed, did it apply to me, is it something I can modify, is it something I want to modify? This was the ENTP-ENFP days though.
(Although I think I once started a thread about selfish Ti and this INTP started cursing me in post 3. Whaaaa???)
Once you figure out why you are misunderstanding each other and dig deeper and deeper, you just find more and more differences across the lines. Not bad or good, just different.
But to actually even discuss the issue means using Fi and Fe as tools-thus applying value laden analytical tools to a discussion about conflicting values. Te and Ti are equally offensive to one another, thus even if those tools are resorted to, it still can be hard.
To complicate things the perceiving functions also can cause issues, as in the midst of discussing Fe or Fi, the Ne or Ni perspective and subsequent Te and Ti structuring can generate seemingly obvious results to the individual, that the pother person is virtually blind to. NeTe takes an extreme macrocosmic generalist approach and NiTi takes a highly microcosmic individualized approach. Neither is wrong, oddly both may be of great value to each other, but each half is blind to the other half.
Forgiveness and good will and an awareness at every step that the other person has information that you do not possess is essential. Otherwise both halves just keep on projecting their own internal worldview.