First of all, great thread! Thanks to Happy Puppy for starting it and for all the thoughtful posts.
About two weeks ago onemoretime made a post in the "Fi is..." thread that said "Fi never has to say it is sorry."
I found that quote to be one of the least Fi-typical in the whole thread (to me). I tend to say sorry a lot, and my standards are much higher than I can consistently achieve. Sorry to be mildly off topic.
I do have enough Ti to see parallels between Fi's and Ti's appreciation of elegance and congruence. I think Ti gets positive emotional feedback from considering something logical, consistent and minimal. Fi gets positive emotional feedback when things are aesthetically pleasing and congruent with one's principles.
I have noticed when I'm in a debate/argument with someone, for example, that I'm presenting my side with confidence - I'm backing it up with all the facts and knowledge that I have obtained, but if the person has good counter-arguments, then I am simultaneously aware (in the back of my mind) ALL the possible comebacks or points-of-view that they may present. It's like I'm playing devil's advocate with myself while I talk to them. I'm thinking "I pretty much know I'm right here, but what if this person suddenly decided to present it this way? I've never looked at it from that angle before." I don't know if that's Ne aiding Ti, or just Ti being open to all possibilities. It's like contingencies are being made in one instant for all possible scenarios.
I find this eerily familiar, but from more of an Fi perspective. As I'm talking with someone, I'm definitely building up a mental model of what they are getting at, and making adjustments as they continue to speak. I'm also leaping ahead, thinking about the implications of what they are saying and what they are likely to say next. This experience seems to be different than that of some of my more Sensing coworkers, who are more likely be thrown if someone accidentally switches two terms during an explanation.
I'm also not threatened by considering ideas and concepts that I disagree with. While I'm talking with someone, often I can see why they believe what they believe, even if I think they are wrong.
It does happen. I may not be a absolute "mirror", but there's a "same-wavelength" vibe. I've had an ENTP tell me before (after a political discussion with a 3rd party) that she didn't totally agree with my political views (she agreed more with the other person's views), but that she TOTALLY followed my thought process, open-mindedness, and approach to the argument. I've also met a person (not knowing they were an INTP) and the back-and-forth banter that followed was unbelievable for about 2 hours straight. Finishing each other's sentences, etc. Totally the same wavelength.
Does sound similar to two xNFPs that are on the same wavelength.
That's the big thing I see. I may not always agree with what the other Ti user is actually saying, but I usually get their "process". I can see very clearly that they have an open mind and that they have thought things out. They aren't just spouting off at the mouth.
Also similar, but I think Fi is less interested in intellectual rigor. Fi tends to value people's opinions and experiences just because they are theirs, and they have a right to their own opinions. I do have enough Ti though to get irritated by stupidity and poorly thought out opinions, though.
But, if someone is coming at me with something that really makes sense and has some real thought behind it, then I become very open. My 99% sureness, will maybe go down to 80% and I'll think, "Hmmm........let's talk about this. Maybe I haven't fully explored this like I thought."
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Your argument/point of view has to be logically sound. If your premises are faulty to begin with, then there's really no point discussing your conclusion. That's what I mentioned earlier about being able to tell if someone has even thought about what they're talking about. If you're just jumping from A to Q without there being any real connection between A and Q, then you're just talking to entertain yourself. If the person at least has made logical conclusions and given the topic real thought, then it opens me up and I want to talk further, (a) so I can learn from you, and (b) to see where you're coming from.
I think this is really interesting, too. Ti seems more open-minded and detached from the subject at hand. An Fi-dom IS his or her values, on some levels. When one's opinions get attacked, it can feel like an attack on one's person. I get the sense that Ti users more often welcome correction and logical critique, and it is seen as helpful for the other party.
There is one other area for me that I've been working on. It deals mainly with F's. An example: I had an F recently (who I had been involved with on a friendship level) tell me that I betrayed her/hurt her with my actions. When I explained to her why, from my point of view, my intentions were nothing but good and, therefore, I couldn't possibly see how she could feel betrayed - she simply said, "Don't you see. Your logic doesn't matter here. That's how it felt to me." She was serious and she was really hurt.
We Fi-doms also have to deal with our emotional reactions being inconvenient and "stupid," too. Occasionally, my feelings will be hurt even though I know it's about something minor and it would be more convenient for everyone if I could just let it go. The problem is that I can't be unaware of my emotional state, and being upset gets in the way of other processing. So then I have deal with it anyway, which is a drag if that means bringing up the issue with someone else.
However, Fi considers emotions to be vital sources of data about situations. One's emotional reactions are often in response to subtle pieces of data that one hasn't even noticed consciously. Taking emotional responses seriously sometimes clues one into important aspects of situations that one would have otherwise missed. I get the feeling that Ti doesn't have the same attitude towards emotional responses. When do you guys see emotions and important sources of data? How do you tend to deal with inner emotional upset?
Usually instantaneously or not at all. And then when I go home and analyze it further and ponder over it, it strengthens or solidifies with time.
I think an Fi user will tend to just defend his or her opinions during a conversation. If one's opinions are being logically attacked, then the Fi user may be forced to just turtle, since Fi can't always defend against Ti. It doesn't help that the rules for intellectual debate seem to come from Ti rather than Fi.
Later, though, I think Fi users will try to process whatever data was presented. Fi is clearly more filtering than Ti, so not everything gets through. However, I think Fi-users do take others' views seriously, so it's not like we all live in hermetically sealed bubbles (at least when we are functioning healthily). It also helps a lot to have reassurances that the other person isn't attacked us, and means well by critiquing our opinions.